Help With Narcissist Mother Chart Reading!

[aragonite_11]

Hi all,


Hoping that someone can help shed some light on the relationship with my mother. She is a narcissist but seems to be particularly awful right now. I figured there must be something going on in her chart but I have no clue where to start! I've put links to both our charts to see if perhaps there is a conflict?

(For those who are knowledgeable about narcissist parents, I am the scapegoat child.)


Let me know if anymore info is needed- Thanks in advance!!

Here is my chart: https://imgur.com/a/xSoqf50

Here is my mother's chart: https://imgur.com/a/mWD4pt1

[iamthat]

As soon as I saw the word Narcissist I thought Sun in Leo. And sure enough, your mother has both the Sun and Mars in Leo. Leo is all about I am, and in its lower aspect it makes people very egocentric. The entire world revolves around them.

As for the relationship between you and your mother, synastry would be a good place to start. Synastry charts are used to examine relationships between two people, more specifically, how they may effect one another individually. From that an astrologer can use the chart to interpret the character and dynamic of the relationship.

You could try going to astrodienst.com to get such a chart, or otherwise I see another website:

https://astro-charts.com/tools/new/synastry/

As for why your mother is particularly awful right now, astrodienst will also show transits to your mother's chart which may indicate some particular influences.

Good luck.

Peace

[MyndFull]

Ditto what Iamthat said.

Leo sun ego expression at its worst falls into ‘me, me, me’ complex.
I know 2 leo suns who are both narcissistic. Its the struggle of a leo sun to reach higher and give generously to others.

Youve got a lovely sun conjunct venus in gemini! With libra ruling your mc your loving ego in house 5 shall be easy to express, yet not outwardly necessarily as it doesnt aspect your ac, perhaps through art, something creative youll express your ego..?

Leo in your 7th is where your mums sun resides and her mars....opposite your house 1 uranus - she will battle your ‘self’ independence. So you feel that as not respecting you as an individual....the scapegoating she does is fuelled by this aspect.

Use your sun venus combo to overcome this....be loving, forgiving, for your own salvation if anything!...than allow her to drag you down into bitter ego fights of ‘worth’.

If you can post the synastry chart between the 2 of you thatll be more revealing, easier to work out than flicking between the 2 charts and creating a synastry in my head.

Set your boundaries with your mother is all i advise. Do you live together?

[Miss Hepburn]

Try Leo mother and father.
Mother's rising sign Aries
Moon in Scorpio.
And on top of that, damaged as a child so a clinically diagosable narcissist.

I did set boundaries with my mother - I believe I was the only one that ever did go toe to toe with her.
She was in a powerful high paying job at a Mental Facility with 136 buildings...
so typical of a narcissist to have control and power over others!

She really respected me, tho...bragged about me, even...but, of course,
since it was all about her...it built her pride and sense of self.

[aragonite_11]

Wow! Thank you all for such interesting comments!

I've checked out her transits and found:

1. Saturn square Saturn- soul searching/identity crisis
2. Jupiter trine Pluto- greater power but used selfishly
3. Jupiter square Saturn: Something is wrong- lots of tension

I might be missing something so here is the full list:

Transits
Pluto trine Pluto Beginning of March 2018 until end of October 2020
Saturn square Saturn End of January 2020 until beginning of November 2020
Jupiter trine Pluto Beginning of March 2020 until mid-November 2020
Jupiter sextile Neptune Mid-March 2020 until end of November 2020
Jupiter square Saturn Beginning of April 2020 until beginning of December 2020
Jupiter trine Uranus End of April 2020 until mid-December 2020


Also, MyndFull- you got me! I'm definitely creative (it's even my job!) and it's how I express myself, particularly my grievances etc.

I do not live with my mother anymore (I haven't for quite some time) but she we do still see each other fairly regularly. However, her latest meltdowns send ripples across the whole family as we all had to deal with her rages. Something is setting her off and she is responding through emotional abuse, lashing out and manipulation.

Here is a link to the synastry charts. https://imgur.com/a/soln0SG
Please excuse my ignorance as I hadn't heard of these before! Hopefully I've attached all that's needed.

[aragonite_11]

Wow! Thank you all for such interesting comments!

I've checked out her transits and found:

1. Saturn square Saturn- soul searching/identity crisis
2. Jupiter trine Pluto- greater power but used selfishly
3. Jupiter square Saturn: Something is wrong- lots of tension

I might be missing something so here is the full list:

Transits
Pluto trine Pluto Beginning of March 2018 until end of October 2020
Saturn square Saturn End of January 2020 until beginning of November 2020
Jupiter trine Pluto Beginning of March 2020 until mid-November 2020
Jupiter sextile Neptune Mid-March 2020 until end of November 2020
Jupiter square Saturn Beginning of April 2020 until beginning of December 2020
Jupiter trine Uranus End of April 2020 until mid-December 2020


Also, MyndFull- you got me! I'm definitely creative (it's even my job!) and it's how I express myself, particularly my grievances etc.

I do not live with my mother anymore (I haven't for quite some time) but she we do still see each other fairly regularly. However, her latest meltdowns send ripples across the whole family as we all had to deal with her rages. Something is setting her off and she is responding through emotional abuse, lashing out and manipulation.

Here is a link to the synastry charts. https://imgur.com/a/soln0SG
Please excuse my ignorance as I hadn't heard of these before! Hopefully I've attached all that's needed.

[aragonite_11]

Oops, I should mention, in the synastry chart, I'm outer circle and she's inner

[MyndFull]

Thanks for the synastry attempt aragonite - the chart you post is useable but shows whole signs and i like to see the areas of life each persons impacts the other, using ‘placidus house system’.
Are you able to generate a placidus house synastry showing you as the main person with synastry as your mother as second person - that way i get your house system as the major chart and can see clearer where her planets fall, impacting which areas of life etc.

From what youve posted her moon conjuncts your sun/venus combo is a glaring influence, that is quaring her pluto in detail oriented, nit-picking virgo - so i can imagine that she really loves to exert her motherly power over you by criticising you verbally with her having her venus/mercury conjunt also in virgo - which quincunx (very tense aspect) your saturn in aries so i imagine she could feel that its you that causes her to be verbally harsh, you restrict her ability to express verbal love to you. Yet also your saturn could help YOU by restricting her from saying ALL she would want to say to you, so could very well be under your saturn influence if you exercise your saturn in aires, by exercising your mars conjunct mercury - use the power of words - be firm, succinct in your verbal expression - say what needs to be said, keep it serious, and dont allow mars to enable you to boil over at her verbally. Youll shut her up from verbal over-spillage by being very firm, calm, direct with your communication - you have the power in your chart to channel that verbal position.

The other major influence in the whole synastry chart is her unaspected saturn. An unaspected planet carries a LOT of energy with it - depending on the persons chart shows whether its inhibited or drenching their entire existence. As your mums saturn is in aries, her mars, ruling aries, is conjunct her mc - so as thats a major angle of the chart id say your mum over expresses that saturn, she has easy aspects to it in her natal too - so her saturn unaspected in your combo chart shows she uses that ‘matriachal’ energy excessively. It will rule your experience of her. Saturn when badly expressed by an ‘untamed ego’ is restrictive, nasty, cold, critical, diminishing energy.

Her moon conjuncting your sun/venus - that trines her ascendent....i would say that she emotionally is proud of who you are as you make her look good to others - so she may brag about you - yet also there could be jelousy there too, her wishing to be more like you - you emotionally satisfy her, i think your caring/loving side, being here asking for ways to deal with this, is you caring for her, that venus/sun conjuncting her moon - you have hige empathy for her in a sense and want to try to help.
Dont let her take advantage of your very abundant caring energy/soul. Learn to also not give when she clicks her fingers. She has to respect you and she’ll only do that if youre verbally firm and you decide for yourself boundaries.
The sun/moon/venus conjunction also has an element of her wanting you to mother her. There’s a boundary to be put there. Many narcissistic parent parentify their children and enmesh in that way of the ‘poor me, look after me’ attitude that goes along with the rages, insults, passive agression ignoring rituals and the like.
Its like being tugged this way and that, very disorienting for all involved.

In her chart there something suggestive of her father being prominent and exerting great influence over her, with some element of delusion about him, some hidden secrets. Or another prominent male - or males in general in her life, she gets a raw deal from them, they trick her, delude her easily?

The energies between the 2 of you are very strong and the aspects are tight and most of them very significant. Looking at her chiron aspects show she uses you to heal her - your uranus - your quick to jump to her aid , or used to be, and act quickly for solutions to her problems. Your saturn tied to that aspect matrix to her chiron (wounds/karma/) shows you take responsibility to help her.

Ultimately a leo sun who’s domineering the whole family and is steeped in narcissism, needs to grow up. She should use that saturn energy to build her own self structure instead of using it to belittle and scold others.
Stop giving so much control to her. Easier said than done with some characters i know, but you have to change how you are with her, for her to change.

Ive experienced this myself with a narcissistic leo sun father - except from the other stance - i always had firm boundaries, very strong-willed, until i had an episode occur that completely floored me - i was extremely weak, confused, vulnerable - and thats when i got to experience the truly ugly side of my father. With my boundaries completely gone, he pulled every trick of manipulation he could....it was truly eye-opening to see the person he is , around someone who he perceives to be ‘weaker’ than him. Instead of being supportive like a neuro-typical person with empathy, he saw it as a chance to try to rip my ‘persona’ apart. I saw it all from an ‘observer’ perspective and was aware what was going on, yet that taught me that by changing how i behaved instantly changed his behaviour.
We are mirrors in some ways to each other in this world. Narcissism certainly relies on mirroring and projection - if their ‘others’ will allow it.

The one thing is to help her find passions in life to develop by herself. Something she engages in by herself and tap into her creativity. This will empower her at a deeper level than superficial overly proud leo sun complex.