Gaining my wife’s love again

[Luisk91]

Hi everyone

This is my first post here and I am glad I found this place to share my situation and hopefully get to a solution.

I have been with my wife for 3 years and we have a 1.5 year old daughter together. When we first met, we had so many things in common and shared similar dreams. By the time we felt pregnant, I did not have a job so I was very depressed and anxious. Due to this, I was not able to be there for my wife when it came to getting ready to welcome our baby. It created a wound on her but I did not even realise it. With time, issues kept building up to the point where we were losing respect for each other. She decided to start a new career life into spirituality and this made her grow as a person in a way I could not believe. She became a new person. Unfortunately, after she started this new cycle, she told me she loved me but was not in love with me so she decided to break up.

At first I received this with relief as I felt this was the best decision. However, this became the wall I hit against to realise what had just happened. I went into what people call “dark night of the soul” and realised all the mistakes I made which broke the trust between the two of us and made us feel disconnected. I am not gonna lie saying that this was all my fault but I just speak for myself as I am no one to judge somebody else. Long story short, I realised I lost my best friend,my wife, my everything. I was carrying this mask that was making me act selfishly and I was sure that what I was doing was right. I cried intensively and went into this depression stage which was also affecting my profession. After thinking and re-thinking again and again, I started to see clearly what I needed. I then questioned myself and came to the conclusion that I wanted to pursue my happiness. After picturing everything I wanted for myself and my own growth as a person, I understood that my happiness was my daughter and my wife but I was blind and could not realise what I was causing for our relationship.

We still live in the same house and have set our boundaries. I still love her with all my heart and one of the aspects I am working on is being more open minded to be involved in the things she likes (I.e spirituality). I am working on myself to be a better person for me but want to be the right one for her and my daughter. I am feeling now a little bit defeated as I am starting to think she wants to move on and not being together anymore. We have given ourselves 4 more months to really work on each other to be a better role model for our daughter who is the priority.

Sorry for the long story, my question is. Should I move on? Should I fight for what I believe my happiness is(wife and daughter)? Am I in denial phase still?? I have opened my heart completely and have apologised for my part on this. I know most of you guys are also into spirituality and wanted to get some help.

Thank you for your support
Luis