old sins from a past life - how does one know karma is paid of?

hi,

this is gonna be a confession from me that I am not proud of at all. When one discovers what one has been up to in a recent past life.

I wonder if karma is paid in the life time one lives or if it follows you to the next? Or how it is in my case?

In my most recent past life which is not long ago I was married...it was troubled...we had our crises apparently...but it felt like no matter what he would not let me go...from what I have got he was bossy like and not supportive that I would have a life of my own...not supportive of my interest (I liked to do clothes; draw/sketch, find the fabrics, do the whole thing. Found one yellow old article of my past life self up to that, giving the female readers the info. on how to do it too)...he was really business like, had his office at home and in a building in the city...I think I tried to adapt to his world but it felt fake and materialistic...he would dress me up on how I should look like when go out to see so-and so. Furs. Jewelry. Just to mirror back his success.

I felt lost. He had stress too. Would drink. Had temper. I would get afraid. I would start something but then I could not finish it out of fear because his reactions would be so strong. Think there was lots of fights.

We were parents but that part seem to work very well between us. That he was a family man. When we would talk about what a child would do and so on. Think that was when I saw the light in him. Then we were a good team.

Anyway, think he was easily controlling and jealous and this without a cause and suspicious and I had to always be ready to remember why I did not answer the phone that time or fast enough and why...and so on...

There were so many crises in the relationships with the fight I remember...but I think I found what was the big one in the end.

The one thing she knew he would not get pass. He would put much importance to fidelity. Think she felt for long he did not trust her and she was being close to punished even if she had not done anything. He too would go out in his way to make her know he was not unfaithful but he made it sound as if it was common in the world he was in. Like she had no excuse to divorce him unless he had been having other women.

I remember he had a friend, male such, rich I guess, and he would complain about me to him, half joking, half serious. He would do that while I was in the room. But that just made, I guess, the friend realize that there was trouble going on. I think the husband felt he was safe because this friend was older and by his taste did not look too nice.

I remember then a romantic setting with this man in his home and only two of us eating a romantic dinner. I could also tell one thing - my heart was not in it. I was not in love with him. I knew I was doing something evil. Something that would make my husband agree to divorce me. It was as if I watch myself - outside myself - like it was another character. I felt cold inside. Everything I touched, the furniture, felt cold. We were standing by some open fire after dinner, and I had been given a drink. He came to give me a kiss. That kiss alone made me feel sick. I don't know this, but I can't imagine her going all the way with him.

I remember the husband then knowing. His face expression. His eyes. I did not mean for it to hurt like that. Think part of the realization what I had done then hit me. He got his gun. He left. He did not hurt me. I panic because he had a gun and drove away like that. Years later I read they stop him. His plan was to kill him. Someone call the police to say he had threaten to kill me too. One of his friends tried to make me leave home, afraid he would return. But I stayed. Felt real nervous.

I have a vague feeling too that he did not want to know where I was at because he did not want to work himself up and then go and find me and do something crazy. As he requested that I (or we, I was a mom and responsible) would be somewhere secret for now.

I remember him drunk and in pain. Still like I tried to defend my action. It felt like that. I don't think I went even close to all the way with this other man.

I remember he wanted an explanation, wanted me to describe the evening with this other man, everything. Step by step.

The divorce process seem like I did not want to fight. Got low support money. The divorce was denied several times, "I" was being too nice about it.

He was rich and it was as if he just lay back and relax and was not going to help me get the divorce.

Even so I remember he had another woman or women. Some years later he married his secretary. Someone to fit his life style better than "I" ever could.

I do get it a lot with him that he as a Dad would tell that the one breaking up the family was me, not him.

I could tell by my memories that the oldest child had this issue against me even if love was there too. That I could never get back what had been lost with this child. Grief. This child looked up to Dad.

I don't know if karma is paid through the lost child, or if it is something that has to be paid between the ex husband's spirit and I or maybe not at all through him, but someone else?

Early on when I would remember things of the ex husband I would get memories of him saying he had lost respect for me, that he was very disappointing in me.

I always get back to that moment when I could see the pain in his expression. I really hate that. I hate what I did.

Does anyone know how one pays back infidelity?

[Demy]

My experience is that you pay back by... suffering. I might have a twisted perspective, but I dont think that just being good after being bad will be enough. And, the worse you did in the past life the greater the suffering will be in the next.

However, there is one more thing that you may want to consider - all our past traumas are carried with us, somewhere within the aetheric body. So, if you felt bad about what you were doing in the past life, it accumulated and is still with you in this life, hidden somewhere deep.
I have been cleaning things for last 2 years out of my aura that I know/sense are not from this life.

So, my perspective is two-fold:
- you suffer now due to karma;
- you suffer more as the poison is still with you, hidden, but powerful enough to still affect you.
As such:
- karma has to be suffered (interestingly: some shamans have herbs for "acceleration of karma");
- of course, you can try to be good-er to accelerate/reduce the suffering;
- you still have to remove the energy concentration.

I have no external way of verifying whether (just my theory): removing the energy accumulation releases you, and I sense that the more probable is that this removal at least accelerates karma payback, as your past guilt/pain are removed and do not drag you down.

Originally Posted by the_demi

My experience is that you pay back by... suffering. I might have a twisted perspective, but I dont think that just being good after being bad will be enough. And, the worse you did in the past life the greater the suffering will be in the next.

However, there is one more thing that you may want to consider - all our past traumas are carried with us, somewhere within the aetheric body. So, if you felt bad about what you were doing in the past life, it accumulated and is still with you in this life, hidden somewhere deep.
I have been cleaning things for last 2 years out of my aura that I know/sense are not from this life.

So, my perspective is two-fold:
- you suffer now due to karma;
- you suffer more as the poison is still with you, hidden, but powerful enough to still affect you.
As such:
- karma has to be suffered (interestingly: some shamans have herbs for "acceleration of karma");
- of course, you can try to be good-er to accelerate/reduce the suffering;
- you still have to remove the energy concentration.

I have no external way of verifying whether (just my theory): removing the energy accumulation releases you, and I sense that the more probable is that this removal at least accelerates karma payback, as your past guilt/pain are removed and do not drag you down.

Hi! Thank you so much for explaining.

[one-light]

Whether you believe karma is transferred from one lifetime to another everyone reading, its not a good idea dwelling on it - its simple just be good and kind to others here 'this' lifetime...

This is my opinion, not the opinion of many I expect - karma is real but when babies are born they come with a clean slate 'my opinion' maybe others opinions as well, who knows.... We have enough problems dealing with this life's issues without thinking about other lives... like I say my opinion, might ruffle a few feathers on here as we all do from time to time...

It is also 'my opinion' that before starting a new life here, that we have a choice of maybe 3 lives and we pick which one - all could be good health wise or not - but karma is dealt with.

Am I the only one on this forum who believes karma from this lifetime is dealt with at judgement with our Maker and then a clean slate for the 'next' life here on earth.

When karma is dealt with this lifetime - you can come back as a human if you've been good - and if not a mouse, a beetle, or be directed to the Astral somewhere, higher or lower levels depending how you've performed in your life, but the slate is then clean - my opinion...

So whether you personally say yes or no that karma travels with you to the next lifetime - I will say this... Be kind to people while here 'beyond the call of duty' its not even complicated - your positive and kind actions then rewarding you with good mental strength and a strong immune system which is so important right now, as discussed on the healing page.

We are not meant to know everything on this planet, so i'm not 100% sure on this but its my view - and a good one because all my research into strength of minds, it has to be a good thought for the power of the mind at least so we can deal with day to day 'now' issues on this very difficult but beautiful planet...

Its hard enough thinking how we are going to deal with year by year living and avoiding pitfalls, without dwelling on former fives, its draining that - and I teach self healing, mental strength and spiritually - and this is 'fact' if you dwell on negatives that you 'might' be dealing with from past lives as well, it makes the going tough.

And do you know, even if people message and disagree they have that right, all have our own opinion - but this message is worth it to me if it helps 'one' person or 'ten' who are trashing their now life, dwelling on energy and negative thoughts from past lives and makes that change to just get on with 'now' this day and make the best of what we've got, and help others on your way - and try to enjoy every day the best you can...

[Colorado]

My perspective is different...

Karma usually happens in innocence. Karma in adulthood comes from feelings of guilt, shame, ECT....which in turn, affect your relationships.

So how would I deal with karma?

By being true to yourself...if you want to be single, be single...if you want to o leave, then leave...living in unhappiness is betrayal to the self.

You see, you already paid for your karma in that life....you lived with the consequences....

What you carried over was guilt & shame...

What you did not learn....was to be true to yourself.

You were more true & loyal to your husband, than you were to yourself...which you failed to both , in the end.

You can clear karma by getting right with yourself....and putting yourself first....without intentionally harming others.

[russianpast_1904]

Hey again Asearcher,

So I know we've discussed a bit of this past life of yours on your other thread, but I'm glad you made this one. In my own thread I mentioned that I had an old karmic pattern that in this life has finally resolved itself. It took the break-up of my girl-friend and I for me to finally pay it off. The karma is gone, I feel I can safely say that. It started long ago, during the time of Ancient Rome. I knew Caligula, intimately and professionally. My girl-friend was one of his sisters. I was one of his many lovers. I was also one of his heirs if he died - I would possibly inherit his throne and title (Emperor of Rome).

The karma started when I devised a plan, to conspire to have him killed so that I could step up to the plate and become Caesar. It was a stupid idea. I got myself killed in the process and he saw to it that I died in a very painful way. So when I reincarnated into this life now, I briefly fell back in love with him - the mutual friend of mine and my girl-friend's. He's really an acquaintance but anyways.

I fell hard for him, just like I had then. He was pining after someone he couldn't have. I felt such old-seated love for him and yet he didn't return those feelings. He couldn't he told me, not until he was told by the other man that it could never be for them. Well, the angry part of me lashed out, the age-old lover came out full force and ripped him apart until I made him cry. It felt good to do that, after the years of it being bottled up. It burst through like a violent wave. He got everything I had felt for so long. Then after making him cry, I felt sick to my stomach. That wasn't me. I'm not that kind of person. I'm different from the individual I was when I knew him as Caligula. I apologised and told him "how can we fix this?" and he gave me a suggestion. He said to imagine his face in a book. To imagine flames licking at the pages and each page... that it burns with his face. And I did. And the feeling was... It was freeing. I had forgiven him. I finally after ages forgave him. He'd apparently already had forgiven me for what had happened so long ago. Even though through various life times, we shared that karma in a variety of ways. I finally forgave him for what he did to me, even though I technically started the karma to begin with by trying to kill him and take his throne.

Karma is a burden, but when it's paid off. You will know. You'll feel it and you'll know it's no longer there. It was suffering when I had to recall that life-time. It was absolute pain when he rejected me but it was freeing to know I can go on and live my life without having to think of that time anymore. Without having to feel regret or shame in what I tried to do. He may not be a close friend, but I'm glad we were able to reconnect and heal one another.

I hope that you will find a way to heal the karma as well, and that you'll feel it when it leaves you. It's an amazing feeling!

Originally Posted by one-light

Whether you believe karma is transferred from one lifetime to another everyone reading, its not a good idea dwelling on it - its simple just be good and kind to others here 'this' lifetime...

This is my opinion, not the opinion of many I expect - karma is real but when babies are born they come with a clean slate 'my opinion' maybe others opinions as well, who knows.... We have enough problems dealing with this life's issues without thinking about other lives... like I say my opinion, might ruffle a few feathers on here as we all do from time to time...

It is also 'my opinion' that before starting a new life here, that we have a choice of maybe 3 lives and we pick which one - all could be good health wise or not - but karma is dealt with.

Am I the only one on this forum who believes karma from this lifetime is dealt with at judgement with our Maker and then a clean slate for the 'next' life here on earth.

When karma is dealt with this lifetime - you can come back as a human if you've been good - and if not a mouse, a beetle, or be directed to the Astral somewhere, higher or lower levels depending how you've performed in your life, but the slate is then clean - my opinion...

So whether you personally say yes or no that karma travels with you to the next lifetime - I will say this... Be kind to people while here 'beyond the call of duty' its not even complicated - and so rewarding you with mental strength and a strong immune system which is so important right now, as discussed on the healing page.

We are not meant to know everything, so i'm not 100% sure on this but its my view - and a good one because all my research into strength of minds, it has to be a good thought for the power of the mind at least so we can deal with day to day issues on this very difficult but beautiful planet...

Its hard enough thinking how we are going to deal with year by year living and avoiding pitfalls, without dwelling on former fives, its draining that - and I teach self healing, mental strength and spiritually - and this is 'fact' if you dwell on negatives that you 'might' be dealing with from past lives as well, it makes the going tough.

And do you know, even if people message and disagree they have that right, all have our own opinion - but this message is worth it to me if it helps 'one' person or 'ten' who are trashing their now life, dwelling on energy and negative thoughts from past lives and makes that change to just get on with 'now' this day and make the best of what we've got, and help others on your way - and try to enjoy every day the best you can...

Hi One-Light, than you for your uplifting, encouraging words. I agree I should not dwell on it now, that is one of the issues i have that it suddenly gets the better of me to then go back again. When i was a child being back there, geographically, it was very confusing all of a sudden. There was a particular curve on the street i was drawn to and I knew exactly where it headed, but I was seeing her adult self in a car going up there and I start to walk and walk...it was crazy to as a child get to feel, experience grown up feelings, "her"/my feelings.

I have felt a reverse situation from that life to mine, though. I can't say if it is karma. In that past life when I was at the lowest either still in or coming out of an abusive relationship after her marriage had crumbled I remember being in a mental institute of some kind. This was the relationship where the abusive belt-man would continue to make me live my life in constant fear and i think it became all too much for me. i know i had to surrender the kids to my family and ex husband and his wife. I think I had this plan that if and when the "belt-man" would return, because he would do that, it would never be over, I would slash my throat or wrists right in front of him so i would get to myself first before he did, and the best part is that no child had to be around to see the beating or maybe this time as he had plan to make true to his threat to kill me. I think the family and ex husband caught on that I was so deep down in despair and really not working that they just had to get me in there. I think my past life self met "the belt-man" when trying to start a new and be part of a new friend-group-zone, and wearing heavy make up that was modern then. He was a playboy, a term i used during meditation and one day i saw his photo and down there i did not understand the text but one word shone to me - and it was that word - playboy again. even if it once got in a paper that he had beaten me by random witnesses who just happen to be there when it happen as it happen in a public place even it was as if this did not hurt his image. like that is what could have been expected or that was over rated or something. it was as if nothing and nobody could stop him like it was accepted to say it was because he was jealous or because he thought she talk back. When I tried to search on him some more he had several kids with several women and they did not even know of each other, and it was just one mess after another and he hardly made daddy of the year. i have one memory when he slam down the phone and I went frantic because it was the ex husband he did that too, and nobody slam the phone on the ex husband, that was for sure. Especially when he call to talk to his own child. Fatherhood was like sacred to him. And nobody could take his place. And of course this playboy could not understand that. I remember the playboy did not want me to talk directly to the ex husband and i was foolish enough to think I did the ex husband a favor by him not having to hear my voice or deal with me. But the ex husband was so furious. I remember he made it real clear, his style, that he would not accept talking to nobody but his children's mom when it came to his children. It was as if the ex husband still found it easy or at least still preferred to be in contact with me, even if i felt things were tense and awkward. So I can guess that there was lots of tensions coming from both the ex husband and the playboy.
So anyways, I think I had this crazy idea that the only way to get the playboy out of our lives was if I got the kids safe, and I sacrificed my own life . I think I thought I would do everyone a real swell favor too, that i was just one big failure.

and in this life I have a mentally ill family member so now i am on the other side. Could be coincidental but i still find that weird.

however I have never so far experience having someone cheat on me so I hope you are right there, i really do :)

[one-light]

wow asearcher you've had so much to deal with, and I credit you with staying strong through all of this - not only the past life stuff you are aware of in this life, but the ghost in your house which you had to deal with. I haven't read all of your messages but there's been a lot, so I missed reading some - but you've been so strong mentally and learned so much.

But there has to come a time in my opinion, when you say enough is enough - shut the door on the past, say the forgiveness word as many times as is required for your mental well being and strength, because that word forgiveness is to help you, and help you feel better 'stronger' - and move on to tomorrow, next month and years ahead... When that time should come, its your choice when it does, and you slam that door shut - this will still be with you all thats gone on, but you'll mentally be able to deal with it so much better, and all in the past where it belongs.

I think it is good you're writing all this, getting it off your chest and sharing with all these lovely people who understand 'difficulties' better than most worldwide. Just keep messaging as long as you want to, sharing all the c'r'a'p you've had to deal with, and look for the light ahead, its just around the corner now.

And ive seen you helping people as well on here, so well done...

Originally Posted by one-light

wow asearcher you've had so much to deal with, and I credit you with staying strong through all of this - not only the past life stuff you are aware of in this life, but the ghost in your house which you had to deal with. I haven't read all of your messages but there's been a lot, so I missed reading some - but you've been so strong mentally and learned so much.

But there has to come a time in my opinion, when you say enough is enough - shut the door on the past, say the forgiveness word as many times as is required for your mental well being and strength, because that word forgiveness is to help you, and help you feel better 'stronger' - and move on to tomorrow, next month and years ahead... When that time should come, its your choice when it does, and you slam that door shut - this will still be with you all thats gone on, but you'll mentally be able to deal with it so much better, and all in the past where it belongs.

I think it is good you're writing all this, getting it off your chest and sharing with all these lovely people who understand 'difficulties' better than most worldwide. Just keep messaging as long as you want to, sharing all the c'r'a'p you've had to deal with, and look for the light ahead, its just around the corner now.

And ive seen you helping people as well on here, so well done...

one light-thank you so very much. when i told mom of my memories of this and that i needed her help if she could know how i could find out if "my" children were and if doing alright she got busy telling me not to think of it. when i did find the children, grown-up, it was true blessing. they had made it just fine. the ex husband was involved with charity to help exposed women, children, children involved with projects to help children and young adults. one child remembers the belt-mans evilness but has use that energy for good. this child use to feel guilt about being a divorce-kid and taking side but always knew mom always loved, always forgave. the grown-up child has said always wanted the parents back together and would try out ways to make that happen again. i feel very fortunate to have found out all this. i could have been given a ****** funeral too even if it is not in the money (i always worried about money, had little of it, but think she had an independent-streak, and too proud to ask for help. i could see the ex husband wanting to help her the late part and that things would go forth and back between child-stuff) but instead so many people came,and flowers were everywhere, the photographer interested to take photo of the ex husband who stood with the family and friends section, so i able to see the rest too. it is bizarre how one person -the playboy - could take so much joy out of her life, cause damage - when there were so many other people there that cared and thought she was someone worthy of their affection,despite her mess-ups.I thought with time they would forget only to be shock to find on ex husband face book photos and comments about her, so many years-and still a child's friend comment that remembering how fun-going and wonderful he thought she/"I" had been.Who takes the time to do that? I was so lucky to have all these other beautiful people in my life. even my spirituality lived on and was said to have woken the ex husband up, for him to change. He gave her credit for him to make the decision to stop drinking and all years after stood by it. So i try to humble think of these things too, that I was fortunate to have them in my life and for them to make the good times count.

I feel so bless for this forum too, and all the help I have been given, and us helping each other out:)

[linen53]

Interesting thread. I haven't got time to respond today but I've subscribed to it and will give it more attention (hopefully) tomorrow.