Double standard reaction

This is my 4th edited version, it's crazy.

I have noticed about myself that there are some people that I react in a negative way towards if, when they give me compliments while others I only have a nice feel to towards. The ones I have a nice feelings towards are people who has never in my past no matter my weight or appearance ever said a negative thing about that.

My looks, weight has varied over the years and it feel as if I feel certain other people's prejudice, need for social status (through for example looks) when they say something about me and that is why I feel negative towards them. On the surface I say thank you but on the inside I can think oh so now I'm doable? Now I reach up to your standards. Let me be, please.

Am I the only one working this way?

I once lost it with a guy I dated who saw pics of me when I was a child or teenager and said he could not believe that was me, I looked like a tomboy to him back in the day. I told him I honestly did not see what was wrong with that, that that is who I really am, part of me, as all parts are as I go through life. If he had a problem with that than he should equally have a problem with what I looked like nowadays. I told him on the inside I was the same (except for natural maturity of course). It's just an earth suit for crying out loud. I've always felt tender feelings when I have seen a boyfriend or husband's childhood and teenage photos, always.

I had an equal issue with my husband at one time, this was a long time ago. It was as if he actually believed he had bought me like some doll in a box and that I was to have no past. And if I was to have a past, then he would be the judge of me. He had not walked a mile in my shoes. I never judged him over his past. I did not judge him over who he had fallen in love with before he met me. Everything he had gone through, everything he was - was part of him who he was the day I met him. I told him out flat that you do not own my past and you don't own me now, and you can not judge me and I own you and nobody else nothing in explaining myself to you who,what,when went on in my past. You either love me for who I am or you don't. But you got me NOW. You did not have me yesterday. Should we not just be grateful that we got each other now? And we're building our future now? I did not get it. I for instance did not judge him that he was spoiled financially and was more reliant on his parents than I was, I grew up fast, I got independent fast, I worked hard, that was what I wanted to do. I wanted to stand on my own 2 feet. I took jobs he and his parents would never allow him to take because it would be somehow a job that would be beneath I think what they wanted him to work with and they could afford that sort of attitude. I thought that sort of attitude was rubbish. I would never look down on nobody or any job. I never said a thing about that to him. I could have judged him. I didn't. Because I did not have his life. I did not walk a mile in his shoes. He had his struggles, I am sure. Who was I to judge his decisions in his past?

I also have a problem when people comment on celebrities as if they only favor them a specific period in their lives, to just use one example Elvis. I have heard people having their favorite era of him. I could not understand that either. Either to me you are an Elvis fan or you are not. You do not get to pick and chose depending on where the person you claim to admire is in life. You either love or you don't. I don't get it.

It is as if I can feel depending on who is saying it where they themselves stand on this and I get this double standard reaction to it. Anyone else like me?

[lostsoul13]

I feel a person can change a lot and different copies of them live much like alternate selfs- can warm to them in a certain era.. or moments over others..

People go through spiritual awakening and other awakenings you could love a person now and not love them before-

I don’t feel I could love my tf up until I met her.. before then history is history and if she went with anyone I would have to and her- exchange it in time -

Which is a bit of a dupe because that’s often just us but it seems like it’s someone else.. kisses hugs ect even talking..