Trying to overcome betrayal

[bluetimetraveler]

These past two months have been among the worst I remember for several reasons I will not explain here but I want to share about the journey related to this man who destroyed my soul.

This man tried to come back saying that he was sorry, many times, something that he had never done in the past. But of course there is nothing positive in the life of this man, even less the capacity to love, or even be kind towards anyone. I have decided to ignore him just like he has done, and then after all he has done to me and to others.

To make things worse, with the quarantine, I was working at a place that decided not to let anyone go back to office until maybe next year, while the rest of the people around me have gone back to normal work. I have to see loving families around me all the time, something I feel I have been condemned never to have in this lifetime.

So I find myself alone and shattered and hopeless again without my job, only doing some things online, which I find it sick and discouraging after spending 10 years alone without friends or a loving partner or loving family.

So I will try doing art again. I like oil so I started something new and hope I can recover at least the motivation in this area. I lost again my connection to my Greater Self and cannot feel the love and protection I felt from this part of my soul before.

[oldasthesea]

Don´t let anyone destroying you.
If you need to talk, send me a pm.
You´re not alone.

Be strong. I have a smiliar situation but not to do with a betrayal.
Try to find yourself and try to find joy in art and in small things. Like watching a movie or reading, something that makes your mental busy.

I´m sure you will find someone.

[bluetimetraveler]

Thank you for lending me a hand dear oldasthesea

Yes, I will do that, reading as well will help for sure. I spent some hours painting. It is difficult to concentrate when all these thoughts and feelings are dancing.

There was something that caught my attention though. For years this man has accused me of doing something that I never did in this life but that I did in past lives. I felt blackmailed for too long and even guilty.

I think that I could not connect to the positive energies of my soul because I could not accept that it was true what I did to him in the past. But I realized that I made that mistake because he was not different o how he is today. He was as evil and selfish as he is now and will never admit it. I admitted what I did and felt this huge integration and healing taking place.

I was always guided to understand that the only thing that I needed was self forgiveness. It can only come with self acceptance. I feel like my mind cleared at least a little bit more and hope to feel better to get back to working on a project related to my job.

[John Elessar]

Originally Posted by bluetimetraveler

This man tried to come back saying that he was sorry, many times, something that he had never done in the past. But of course there is nothing positive in the life of this man, even less the capacity to love, or even be kind towards anyone. I have decided to ignore him just like he has done, and then after all he has done to me and to others.

You are describing "Hoovering" in your first sentence-a well-known manipulative technique. You were wise to not respond back.

In any event not sure if this is the right forum for you-there are however plenty of forums/resources for psychological abuse of the sort you've described.

[Miss Hepburn]

As far as betrayal...took awhile, but I found out I deserved this lesson - to feel what betrayal does
to a person's spirit ---since I had done it in at least one past life I remember ---that prob means I did it many many times in others.
Learn from it, I say.

Be humble and accept the sweet fruit and also the bitter we bring to ourselves.
It is all for our growth.

The wisdom of Remembering the Past 101.
First class: Atonement with grace.

[bluetimetraveler]

Originally Posted by John Elessar

You are describing "Hoovering" in your first sentence-a well-known manipulative technique. You were wise to not respond back.

In any event not sure if this is the right forum for you-there are however plenty of forums/resources for psychological abuse of the sort you've described.

Very true, since I was in the beginning very much into the ideal of twin flames coming back for "reaffirmation" or "working more" then I ended up in his game of only using me when it suited him.

Over time I have been deleting stuff related to this person and not contacting him. I feel like last time I sorted out so much within by filling myself with the energy of my own soul as to realize what you say. I was not even aware of the term but you are so right...I will not allow this to happen anymore.

[bluetimetraveler]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

As far as betrayal...took awhile, but I found out I deserved this lesson - to feel what betrayal does
to a person's spirit ---since I had done it in at least one past life I remember ---that prob means I did it many many times in others.
Learn from it, I say.

Be humble and accept the sweet fruit and also the bitter we bring to ourselves.
It is all for our growth.

The wisdom of Remembering the Past 101.
First class: Atonement with grace.

It can become so shattering that the vicious cycle becomes never ending. So I am ending this cycle of betrayal.

I wonder though, if Remembering the Past 101 can be accessed online? Is it a book or available in other format? I could not find it. Thank you

i have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and understanding, and overcoming abuse lately. I wish I knew what the right answer was. For instance I think I come from a family where we don't forgive easily which I have not even thought about until lately. also people can carry anger for a surprisingly long time. What i don't like about myself and wish I could change is that I have been a runner without admitting to it even.
Some of us carry scars with us from previous failures in our love lives.
I had an ex who had a previous relationship where something happened where he got jealous and angry with his girlfriend because he thought she crossed the line of what to him was then her being unfaithful while she didn't. So they had a fight about this and that was the end of it. I was super careful throughout our relationship so that he would never have to feel like that again. I had a feeling that he would come down hard on me over something that was not me being unfaithful just so that he could release the anger he had felt before with his ex and his anger and pride that he would never be taken for a fool again. He would never dare to be vulnerable again, it seemed like that to me. When I think of it some more I think he chose me then because I was known to be shy and careful and some people were surprised I had not had a boyfriend before.

I guess we just carry stuff within us that we think are finished but aren't really finished til we have dealt with it.

I think daring to be vulnerable is somehow the key.

So to be vulnerable is to tell the enemy how it really effected you with what he has done, not with anger but by exposing the hurt, but we don't expose our hurt feelings in a vulnerable way, in a truthful way, usually if we don't trust the person, and we don't trust the enemy, so...

Either way hope you are doing better and can find a way that works for you on how to overcome betrayal.

I realize looking back that I did not feel strong enough to dare to be vulnerable, to stand still and turn around to face my enemy, only so later to regret that I did not do it that way instead.