What do you value in a significant other?

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

I got the self explanatory to mean that they didn't need to expand on their question. Not that the ideal in a relationship is self explanatory. Anyway, could be wrong. I've posted this before which I like:

The Invitation by Oriah

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved

Wow.. love that.

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

Cool your jets guys, by self-explanatory i assume is meant by what the thread title is about, nothing complicated from that. That simple.

Traits i value: Sadistic, revengeful, compulsive liar, doesn't play that, knows voodoo and is willing to show me how to cast spells.

LOVE that...." Cool your jets guys".. lol. Am going to use that in everyday life !!!

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by Elfin

LOVE that...." Cool your jets guys".. lol. Am going to use that in everyday life !!!

I think we value the same traits but you just don't want to admit it.

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

I think we value the same traits but you just don't want to admit it.

WHAT YOU ON ABOUT????????????????????......... Listen boy.. just cos you've seen Christ the Redeemer, and I haven't , don't make you more special .... If I want to nick your saying I will... What you gonna do about it ???? Lololololol...

[ocean breeze]

Its my vampire abilities that make me so special.

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

Its my vampire abilities that make me so special.

Yeah.... I ain't scared of no vampire.. !!!!! (?) Bring it on... I've yet to meet a single vampire that can fight me...a fierce lion..( plus I've been through the menapause ...yuck!)...and anyway.. you just a baby yet!!! Lololol....

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by JetBlack

What do you value in a significant other?

Pretty self explanatory.

Loyalty, affection. You?

I value closeness. I can talk about the most superficial things and enjoy it if I only know in the next second we can talk about something that matters. I have noticed I don't function too well if there is no closeness, trust, to feel loved. The man I am with now has said he value us being close even though we can have fights (which too will bring us closer after) because he is not use to that from home, the way we talk and the way we fight. He and I got close naturally and he has always said he can relax around me and be himself, so I guess we appreciate the same things :).

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by Elfin

Yeah.... I ain't scared of no vampire.. !!!!! (?) Bring it on... I've yet to meet a single vampire that can fight me...a fierce lion..( plus I've been through the menapause ...yuck!)...and anyway.. you just a baby yet!!! Lololol....

Vampires don't want you to be afraid. They actually want to lure people to them. They thrive on it. It plays in their favor.

Ahh, you're a lion. A Leo. Leo's are highly optimistic and make good positive role models. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKYQT-RgNZ4

[lancing]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

Cool your jets guys, by self-explanatory i assume is meant by what the thread title is about, nothing complicated from that. That simple.

Traits i value: Sadistic, revengeful, compulsive liar, doesn't play that, knows voodoo and is willing to show me how to cast spells.

Well, I have three exes that might fit the bill and perhaps strike your fancy:

One is disgustingly possessive, but she's a spicy Latina, so that's okay. She demands attention and expensive gifts, and if you don't give them to her...
If you break up with her, she'll stalk you until you have no other choice but to come back.

The second practices Santeria not Voodoo...I hope that's not a deal breaker. Oh, and if you cross her, she'll drain your life force...

The third is possessive, but she'd never admit it. If you don't check in with her every hour or so, she'll call you a million times. threaten your life, then explain that she only did it cause she was worried. She also gets violent and throws things when she's angry, but she'd never really hurt anyone...Oh, and revenge is her jam! She told me that a few times.

What do I value in a significant other? Not those things! I don't blame you for the sarcasm, but for some of us, it's #truth