Hi Sweetie!

[FallingLeaves]

he hates
just ignoring her

but she was hurting him
with all this leading him on
as if this could actually go somewhere
when it never has before

he doesn't want that any more
even if it means
he has to be alone.

off to cry some more...

[FallingLeaves]

he gueses
it doesn't really matter

she doesn't want him anyway.

Just as well if he doesn't buy it
when she teases him
ceaselessly

sigh.

[FallingLeaves]

he wishes
it could be different

but he isn't getting past
the fact
he had a much better life
before this mess

and she had him killed
simply because he wanted her.

So it isn't going to change
this thought
that she doesn't want him.

Especially not
with
the way
she continues to treat him.

[FallingLeaves]

Im starting to think
i made a mistake
chasing away scaredness
a couple of weeks back.

maybe I want it back again
lol

but meanwhile
I still don't feel up to
trying to kick
moving footballs
at least
this week.

Maybe next.

Or maybe not.

Sigh.

[FallingLeaves]

crying

[FallingLeaves]

it isn't the first time he's thought
if they're mean to him now
won't it be even worse
if he succeeds at what he is doing?

so why bother?

[FallingLeaves]

he guesses
they way they always talk
is kinda ok
after all
it is all he is used to
and neither does he want to tell her
she's not good enough
just the way she is.

He just doesn't much feel like it right now.
Maybe later...

[FallingLeaves]

he ventured out
to eat
hasn't done that
this last year

it was kinda different

but then he had to sit there
frightened
listening to her
chatter on
about how they met

he didn't expect that one
lol

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

he ventured out
to eat
hasn't done that
this last year

it was kinda different

wow...
You ate in a restaurant? How nice?
Was it inside sitting? with a full service?
Not outside under the full sun, not fighting off bugs, without passing car fumes, not eating with plastic utensils, and not eating out of takeout containers?

I envy.....
It has been so long since I had a formal dining experience. I have to re-learn how to behave in a fine dining setting. LOL
I am too afraid to eating next to strangers inside and eating with utensil and dishes used by others.
I have to bring my own napkins, utensils, and dishes.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

wow... You ate in a restaurant? How nice?

yeah I took a chance on more or less a regular indoor experience. Only difference is the menu was paper and there were plastic partitions between the tables. But we had to wear a mask any time we weren't actually at the table

I finished up my vaccines early april so it wasn't too much of a risk, at least according to the drs lol!