Big distraction or BIGGEST distraction?

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

Hello.
Welcome!

I was just thinking about this last night as I was typing out an entire ramble on SF in the sexuality section.

I actually started to develop some kind of conspiracy theory (lol) that all the TF misinformation out there is deliberately trying to halt the spiritual growth of people who get caught up in it.

I am usually a fairly skeptical minded person... not afraid to explore my own independent thoughts LOL Buuuut... somehow the TF energy concepts infiltrated my conciousness to such an extent that I was getting confused about not only the nature of my own creative power but also the nature.of what it is I am actually looking for in my connection to other human beings and how those connections can actually look in one's life.

It all suddenly smacked me in the face how much the tendrils of "twin flames" had burrowed into my pshche limiting my potential grrrrr.

I am feeling very frustrated with all of the misinformation and how it seems to flood over potentially wonderful information which could actually benifit individuals to move through the motions towards creatorhood LOL.

Perhaps I am just looking at this the wrong way around lol... I got sick of the limitations of this thing years ago... but it took me up until now to realise that some of its tendrils were still stuck to me LOL

IMO I don't do myself any favors every time I look to see what I can get out of this situation because it is observable that any time I have done that whatever I thought eventually came crashing down. And here I am again.

[Inika]

It could be a wonderful distraction when you have little to no self worth. This means that focusing on them is worth more than yourself. Which most notice and it's a put off.
so distracted by what they are doing, who they are with. what they posted on FB, who they hang with. It's all way better than being with your own no self worth being. All worth is placed in them and in hopes they notice that and realize you're worth it for giving so much tosses about them. Good luck with that I say.

Originally Posted by jro5139

Also just to add, I have also noticed that many men, even today are quite threatened by a women that does not appear to need a man to do things with her or for her, even men that a younger than me. I have actually had men in public verbally attack me because they were so threatened that I was somewhere by myself, without a man. They seem to be massively threatened by a women appearing to not need a man.

I can accept that as an interpretation of (part of) your world view. I am often about town "without a man" and I don't believe men feel threatened by me. I've never felt that they think I should have a man, unless they're about to put themselves forward as a prospect.
This is just my view but I suspect you are projecting what you feel onto a situation rather than what's there.

But having said that I don't know where you're located and it could be a big social norm that a woman should have a man there. However, I'd opine in that case that it's more curiosity than threat. I grew up to feel the same about homosexuals - quite unnatural, I believed, but curious as to why? Eventually I came around to people being who they are (sexual antics and all) and if that is their direction, so be it.

Otherwise I'd feel very uncomfortable living in the town where my flat is!

♥

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by Inika

It could be a wonderful distraction when you have little to no self worth. This means that focusing on them is worth more than yourself. Which most notice and it's a put off.
so distracted by what they are doing, who they are with. what they posted on FB, who they hang with. It's all way better than being with your own no self worth being. All worth is placed in them and in hopes they notice that and realize you're worth it for giving so much tosses about them. Good luck with that I say.

Darn, Inika says it how it is. Bravo!

I will add that this could be seen as a "stage." No need to get hard on yourself (on top of the low self worth) if you are experiencing this. A twin leaving us triggers deep feelings of insecurity, wondering if you are worthy of love. You need to see the obsession on them for what it is - low self worth.

Twin flames do NOT always think of each other, they can fall in love with others, out of love with each other, and are whole sovereign beings.

Appreciate your straight shooting, Inika.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I can accept that as an interpretation of (part of) your world view. I am often about town "without a man" and I don't believe men feel threatened by me. I've never felt that they think I should have a man, unless they're about to put themselves forward as a prospect.
This is just my view but I suspect you are projecting what you feel onto a situation rather than what's there.

But having said that I don't know where you're located and it could be a big social norm that a woman should have a man there. However, I'd opine in that case that it's more curiosity than threat. I grew up to feel the same about homosexuals - quite unnatural, I believed, but curious as to why? Eventually I came around to people being who they are (sexual antics and all) and if that is their direction, so be it.

Otherwise I'd feel very uncomfortable living in the town where my flat is!

♥

It wasn't a projection, a man that I kept running into literally yelled at me ever time he say me in on instance because he couldn't handle that I was there alone. I was not just about town though, I was camping so maybe that's why. For an example, I took my daughter camping and nobody could believe I would go camping with just my daughter and me (and no man). Most were just shocked and curious I guess. But at least one, was down right rude. I guess stuff like that shocks most people and they would just stay home. I'm not the type to just stay home.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Darn, Inika says it how it is. Bravo!

I will add that this could be seen as a "stage." No need to get hard on yourself (on top of the low self worth) if you are experiencing this. A twin leaving us triggers deep feelings of insecurity, wondering if you are worthy of love. You need to see the obsession on them for what it is - low self worth.

Twin flames do NOT always think of each other, they can fall in love with others, out of love with each other, and are whole sovereign beings.

Appreciate your straight shooting, Inika.

personally I'm tired of being yelled at for having no self worth, then everyone fights with me if I try to change the situation. There is just no pleasing people. I'm just going to live with it thank you.

[clueless]

Originally Posted by Ascophore

I'm sure plenty of you have had relationships in your life, it's only human. Now, did you constantly cling to your lovers and demand their attention 100% or did you seek out your own space to take care of things? I hope I'm starting to make sense. You may always slightly 'miss' the person in topic but if you can't stop thinking about a human-based representation of your 'literal' other half then that's more or less what we call "obsession" rather than "passion".

Life continues, there are seven billion other smart monkeys running around on this planet the world keeps turning even if the one you think is your soulmate decides to fish for another individual.

I never had any other kind of relationships nor I ever wanted it.
I met him when I was 24 and now Im 42 and he was the one and only man I ever wanted and was with (I wont go into more details)
There mere thought of being with another human, not just being intimate but spending time face-to-face, feeling others person breath in my proximity is sickening to my stomach.
I belong next to him and he belongs next to me. If this is not meant to last, or be no more, Im ok with that I was alone my whole life I will be yet another 20 years or how long it takes before I die.

You wont ever understand the depth of isolation and loneliness people who experienced this feel, feeling alone when you are with others, feeling like they cram and suffocating you and taking his place.

As for seven billion people - this is laughable, even as a metaphor is laughable too - but Ill dignify it with the answer - being born in a small town of a small country, surrounded by rednecks-type of people on daily basis, being unable to travel (even if you want to, I dont like to travel) not just because lacks of funds but also because you need a some kind of a permission to enter countries and, as you would say meet some of those 7 billion of smart monkeys ...

And most of all, from the day you meet a person we call TF or SC or whatever you wanna call it, there is just one knowledge and that is - you know you have to be with them, you are meant to be with them, you know that your life will be turned upsidedown and that they will have the main role in your life. You know that, from the first couple of minutes of your meeting, and you also know that this is not rational, it is not normal and it is not something you can explain.

Yes, people do get over anything. People get over death of their children, and loved one and move on with their lives.
People get over wars, being in concentration camps, being tortured and being subjected to all kinds of injustice, illness, and all sorts of monstrosity, and move on with their lives.

I cannot get over a this man. I know that. Getting over in a way -not thinking of him, forget him and "move over" with my life, whatever that is, I cannot do that. I know I cant. And that is the fact. That is my truth I have to deal with. The truth that others can get over anything and move on, and I cannot get over him.
And after finding out about TF community, I was relieved to know that others feel the same. Now I know I'm not the only one that cannot get over that one person.

As for the other things people mentioned, growth, expanding energy whatever that is or whatever else - I love you guys, but that is just a human construct. And who are you to tell others what growth, expanding energy or anything else is, or that this is something we all should do in a way you approve it.

People come in here to find relieved for the pain, to read other people's experiences, I remember that most helpful posts were from people in here who had this understanding, compassion and genuinely love (well, maybe they genuinely grew as well) about love and understanding not about "you should do this, this is the only way" -type of posts.
And surprisingly those posts were from people who hadn't personal TF, painful SC experience, they were just compassionate and kind souls with understanding that surpass "shoulda" talk.


Actually the only reason Im on this thread is to ask about this

Originally Posted by Aldous

Twin flames are real. I'm in constant telepathic connection with my twin all the time. I can feel it every second of the day and when I'm asleep and dreaming. The great truth of the human race has been revealed to me. I'm one of the million lesser prophets with the mission to reveal this great truth to the rest of the human race. I believe everyone has a twin flame even if they haven't incarnated together and met each other. I can't turn it off. I feel as if part of her soul is with me all the time. I have thoughts of her all the time in between thoughts of other things. When I'm not thinking of something else, I think of her. I imagine being with her all the time for 39 years and talking to her.

Hello, if you dont mind me asking and I'm asking this publicly if you dont mind - I was wondering would you be willing to share the truth that is been raveling to you and if you dont mind me asking what is your mission.

If you are reluctant to write about it I would understand, and I also have a additional question - it is about anger towards your TF, have you felt it if, and when you feelt she was disconnected and how you dealt with anger towards her that she is not physically present in your daily life?

If you read my posts, I have my share of anger towards him since he is not in my daily life.
So it would be beneficial to read more on it from somebody else with, maybe, similar experiences as mine.

As for me, I wouldn't call our connection telepathic all the time. First couple of years I knew every words he is going to say, I knew our conversations in advance in a sort of telepathic-daydreaming-reliving in advance- every conversation we had later on.

(also at this point, our conversation was mostly done over the phone so it was kinda easy and felt really natural for me, this thing I had, to know in advance our conversation... it is really hard to explain it now, since it sounds crazy... and I never told anybody about it, not even him, except occasional finishing his sentence and jokingly saying "i knew you gonna say that about something" )


But once we got more close, start seeing each other, I was more worried about how things are going to work out next time we see each other and this kind of daydreaming stopped, I wouldn't let it flow... instead of just letting my self letting my thoughts flow I would start thinking but what if this happen or that, what if this... and kinda suffocated this part of our connection...

I know our stories are not so similar but so far you at least understand this part of not being able to "let it go" or to "forget about them"

To understand him, and to understand my anger now, I need to actually understand how much of it he was going thru and how he processed that.

While we were together , obviously I never knew about TF, and not just that, I wasn't that into talking to him about anything not just spiritual but also philosophical or anything like that.
I didn't want to freak him out, since he used to say that he feels like I put some kind of spells on him, that Im some kind of a witch, that he feels like he cant hide anything from me (I would always brush that off as a joke, never would ask him to elaborate on that, since I didn't want him to go deeper in his fears of concerns)

[Inika]

Uh pardon me? Have you got any children?
No way have I come across ANY parent that 'gets over' their childs death. EVER (oh wait a minute, thats because they hadn't met their twin flame? right?).
In fact i just had this conversation with star aura. my eldest daughter who is also a member here. She knows alllll about this SC connection journey i've been on. We just got back from the hairdresser to make an appointment for her. I last went to this particular salon 2 years ago (when I last had a salon hair cut. don't particularly enjoy the energies in hair salons) this salon most definitely. When I was there one of the hairstylists bought her dog into the salon and no she wasn't blind. As this dog was running all over the place I couldnt help but notice the hairdressers face, no smile, depressed energy. I thought being an ex hairdresser 'hair salon girls conflicts'. At the time I wasn't doing too well myself. I couldnt take my eyes off her though and didn't mean to creep her out but i could see water welling up in her eyes and she'd try not to make eye contact with me. So i never went back there until today. I looked up and saw her photo in a frame on the wall with flowers, angels and goodbye notes on it. I asked..what happend? unbeknown to me this girl had just received diagnosis of cervical cancer and died 8 months later. that was a year ago the lady told me. This young girl was only 24. I've had abnormal cell removed from stage 2. Stage 3 you're done. so i knew the close call and always got my check ups. I explained to star why it's so important because i couldnt at all ever ever cope with any of my babies dying before me. I told her in the car on way home. Yes im not 'over' that experience, i may never be since it's as equal to death and grief, slowly you let go and move through it, some days better than others. But my babies, i don't even want to think about it.

So please, are any of you mothers? If so, if you lost your child would you get over it? Would it be less of a loss to you than your 'tf'?

I never had any other kind of relationships nor I ever wanted it.
I met him when I was 24 and now Im 42 and he was the one and only man I ever wanted and was with (I wont go into more details)
There mere thought of being with another human, not just being intimate but spending time face-to-face, feeling others person breath in my proximity is sickening to my stomach.
I belong next to him and he belongs next to me. If this is not meant to last, or be no more, Im ok with that I was alone my whole life I will be yet another 20 years or how long it takes before I die.

You see this is probably why people like the OP mention obsession. So lets say there are 'stages' and that this IS your tf (your version of TF). At this stage of many years you've been involved 20? more? You're still in this very early stage of non acceptance, non surrender and not letting go of the expectation 'he is mine and we are meant to be because he belongs with me'
this is YOUR story and you're expecting it to also be his story. You are repulsed and repelled by other people but him. What could be the opposite of that? I'd say repulsion of you and tolerance and acceptance of others hence not being in your life on a daily basis. Your possessive energy is heavily suffocating and also suffocates you from allowing anyone else in. You could maybe go and take a peek at the thread on distractions.
It's a good time to let yourself breathe and explore why you deny yourself. 6 billion monkeys are also some amazing monkeys that we can learn from and teach. Try if you can to not place the 'why' on him and look instead inside of yourself.

edit to add: i did it again. this IS the thread on distractions lol. thought I was on another thread again, the one called 'signs'. I think sub consciously my brain connects these two threads together like a hand in hand.

[Ascophore]

Originally Posted by jro5139

Also just to add, I have also noticed that many men, even today are quite threatened by a women that does not appear to need a man to do things with her or for her, even men that a younger than me. I have actually had men in public verbally attack me because they were so threatened that I was somewhere by myself, without a man. They seem to be massively threatened by a women appearing to not need a man.

Oh now that's just silly.
Men -can't- feel threatened by a woman's presence. It's just not in masculine biology. If anything the guy may tire of the girl quicker but that's a different emotion. Also, if you don't need men why are you putting so much energy out there to tell men you don't need them? Guys will get the picture and move on after a few words after all.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by Ascophore

Oh now that's just silly.
Men -can't- feel threatened by a woman's presence. It's just not in masculine biology. If anything the guy may tire of the girl quicker but that's a different emotion. Also, if you don't need men why are you putting so much energy out there to tell men you don't need them? Guys will get the picture and move on after a few words after all.

I didn't say they were threatened by my presence, I said they were threatened by the obvious fact that I don't need them. And it's not an energy I put out, I am open to friends of both sexes, I am also to other relationships, but not with a jerk. Sometimes, people you come across are not a mirror or a reflection of you, sometimes, they are just a jerk. (And I did NOT say ALL men, btw):)


To Inika and everyone else...

I'm a mother and I can not imagine a bigger pain then something happening to my kids, ever. You never really "get over" someone that close to you dying, you just learn to live with it the best you can. And that goes for anyone really close to you, whether it be a sibling, spouse, child, etc.

That being said, I do not believe I will ever completely get over tf either, but I don't live in pain. I'm not sad everyday, that's not to say I don't struggle with certain feelings at times, but my life is still filled with happiness on a daily basis. Although I feel he's the one I should and will eventually be with, I'm still open to another connection, should it happen.
I just think that for me, at this point, I am done with these things (I could be wrong though, who knows). It's just my sense that I am done. But if I found another soul connection, I would not turn it away. It's just for me, after experiencing the soul connection, I'm not interested in regular attractions anymore.

I know these two threads have gotten completely mixed up, so some of this might be from the other one, but my overall sense of my *person I call tf* is that it is an experience with the purpose of our growth and expansion, with the point of eventually being together in the next level of evolution (whatever that may be). I don't know if that will be in this life, or something else after. Which is why I don't advocate waiting around for them. But that is my sense of what this is.