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Old 25-02-2016, 07:41 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Is shyness really fear?

I would often be classed as a shy child into my young adult years and even older adult years.

Not so much now.

Fear was part of my world one with shyness, so I wondered if anyone who understands shyness, feels they are related?

I am an introverted nature but that is not what made me shy, that is more how I process the world within so I suppose as a child I did spend a lot of time, watching, observing, taking in, not speaking much. And processing in this way, more silently observing and building meaning and connection this way.

Of course add fear in the mix and you have a recipe for definite appearance of shyness.

So maybe they are both related.
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Old 25-02-2016, 07:54 AM
pearlswan pearlswan is offline
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I think I'm an ambivert, as I could be an introvert but extrovert as well. Depending on the surrounding, people, my mood, etc. Though I guess mostly I prefer in solitude. In psychology it is said that shy and introvert is NOT the same. Everyone and anyone could be shy, but not an introvert. I'm not really sure how I could give an example myself since now I don't get out often. But when I'm at the mall or stores, I don't feel 'shy' but rather like, uncomfortable? I don't get anxious or scared or anything, I just feel uncomfy sometimes. That's all. Sometimes it gets itchy that I decided to walk pass a store that I wanted to go in lol.
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Old 25-02-2016, 08:16 AM
RedEmbers RedEmbers is offline
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Introversion is said to mean that a person gains there energy from solitude as opposed to extroverts gaining energy from being amongst other people.

Where as shy is defined as feeling nervous or timid around other people... this definition sounds alot like social anxiety.

Most of my life I have been introverted but growing up I was also very loud and outgoing in a crowd... in fact I quite enjoyed being social but also needed alot of alone time.

Shyness for me kicked in in my mid teens because I became too self concious. My worth was based on how outrageous others had percieved me in the past so as I my personality started to calm down I was really scared that people would no longer like me...

In experienceing both sides of the scale by living in a fearless state at first and then living in a fearful state I am very inclined to think that shyness is more often than not, a fearful state.
Introverted people who I have met and spoken to, once they understand their nature tend to feel quite accepting of that it in a social context. Where as people who I have spoken to share their experiences of being of feeling shy tend to talk about fearing how others may percieve them.
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Old 25-02-2016, 09:25 AM
Baile Baile is online now
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We live many lifetimes, we incarnate to experience the gamut of human feelings, behaviors, etc. Shyness, and being an introvert, is one particular experience. Next lifetime the individual will no doubt incarnate as a bawdy extrovert. And people will ask, Is being extroverted really lack of sensitivity?

J/K
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Old 25-02-2016, 10:04 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baile
We live many lifetimes, we incarnate to experience the gamut of human feelings, behaviors, etc. Shyness, and being an introvert, is one particular experience. Next lifetime the individual will no doubt incarnate as a bawdy extrovert. And people will ask, Is being extroverted really lack of sensitivity?

J/K

Why cant it all be here and now?
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“God’s one and only voice are Silence.” ~ Herman Melville

Man has learned how to challenge both Nature and art to become the incitements to vice! His very cups he has delighted to engrave with libidinous subjects, and he takes pleasure in drinking from vessels of obscene form! Pliny the Elder
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  #6  
Old 25-02-2016, 10:08 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlswan
I think I'm an ambivert, as I could be an introvert but extrovert as well. Depending on the surrounding, people, my mood, etc. Though I guess mostly I prefer in solitude. In psychology it is said that shy and introvert is NOT the same. Everyone and anyone could be shy, but not an introvert. I'm not really sure how I could give an example myself since now I don't get out often. But when I'm at the mall or stores, I don't feel 'shy' but rather like, uncomfortable? I don't get anxious or scared or anything, I just feel uncomfy sometimes. That's all. Sometimes it gets itchy that I decided to walk pass a store that I wanted to go in lol.

I am both too, but predominately introverted processing. Having let go of fearful behaviours, I wondered naturally if fear was actually what others and myself determined as being *shy*. That within the introverted open nature not holding down in fear their is the potential of being both like you feel you can be and myself too. Shyness being more a point of unable to speak because still processing too much in the surroundings and not clear to do so? Knowing my introverted nature in deep thought I most often in this way, realize I am inward reflecting on outward surroundings. If this is too much I tend to want to be alone to clear out the inflow of others or life.


I am with you on the places, mood and surroundings. Even certain people. I love people but my introverted nature when I go quiet now is more I am needing down time or alone time to find myself again.
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“God’s one and only voice are Silence.” ~ Herman Melville

Man has learned how to challenge both Nature and art to become the incitements to vice! His very cups he has delighted to engrave with libidinous subjects, and he takes pleasure in drinking from vessels of obscene form! Pliny the Elder
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  #7  
Old 25-02-2016, 10:14 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedEmbers
Introversion is said to mean that a person gains there energy from solitude as opposed to extroverts gaining energy from being amongst other people.

Yes
Quote:
Where as shy is defined as feeling nervous or timid around other people... this definition sounds alot like social anxiety.


Yes which I guess relates to the fear space. Their is also the aspect as a child as not having enough down time to process and let go of so much external stimulation, so naturally inward reflecting and being quiet can signal this as well.

Quote:
Most of my life I have been introverted but growing up I was also very loud and outgoing in a crowd... in fact I quite enjoyed being social but also needed alot of alone time.

Shyness for me kicked in in my mid teens because I became too self concious. My worth was based on how outrageous others had percieved me in the past so as I my personality started to calm down I was really scared that people would no longer like me...

In experienceing both sides of the scale by living in a fearless state at first and then living in a fearful state I am very inclined to think that shyness is more often than not, a fearful state.
Introverted people who I have met and spoken to, once they understand their nature tend to feel quite accepting of that it in a social context. Where as people who I have spoken to share their experiences of being of feeling shy tend to talk about fearing how others may percieve them.


Yes feeling more empowered as an introvert and managing and finding balance within all going on naturally will give a more balanced connection I suppose.

I think your right shyness is withholding in fear of expression so feeling unwilling to let go and express in fear of what is at stake, where as introversion without fear, is withholding in process and more open and willing to express regardless..
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“God’s one and only voice are Silence.” ~ Herman Melville

Man has learned how to challenge both Nature and art to become the incitements to vice! His very cups he has delighted to engrave with libidinous subjects, and he takes pleasure in drinking from vessels of obscene form! Pliny the Elder
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  #8  
Old 25-02-2016, 10:18 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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The other thing I am learning being more of an extrovert now days and being aware of myself on both sides is that extroverts who are more outspoken and letting go more continuously through their way of sharing and processing, tend to support the introvert more so, in ways where we as introverts who tend to get to deep in thought and stay disconnected from the world in that introverted processing space, can pull us up and out into a more open space of connection. Get over it faster and get going again.

So I suppose holding both helps me to build balance in myself overall now.

Fear and introversion could become a fuel mix where one might go too far within and find it more difficult to come back into the world again. Setting up a pattern of depression and isolation more so. Or withdrawal in some instances.
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“God’s one and only voice are Silence.” ~ Herman Melville

Man has learned how to challenge both Nature and art to become the incitements to vice! His very cups he has delighted to engrave with libidinous subjects, and he takes pleasure in drinking from vessels of obscene form! Pliny the Elder
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  #9  
Old 25-02-2016, 10:48 AM
RedEmbers RedEmbers is offline
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An acquaintance of mine was telling me about a time in his life spent overseas as a young adult where he was constantly in very close proximity to those he worked with everyday.
Essentially it was a tight knit community which worked and lived together (I am reluctant to use the term commune here lol)... any way... a very different experience to what I and he himself were familiar with as a "rural bred Australians".

Anywho, he was speaking in a sense of the transition from identifying as an introvert to sort of having to adapt to a situation which requires a fair degree of extroversion...

It all makes me wonder all the more about human adaptability...


Hmmm furthermore it makes me wonder about my identity as a "country kid" familiar with the wide open spaces and quite at home with the isolation that comes with my own cultural identity...

Adaptability... its something that makes us so success as humans... it often feels that it seems to trump concrete beliefs of identity.
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  #10  
Old 25-02-2016, 11:27 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedEmbers
An acquaintance of mine was telling me about a time in his life spent overseas as a young adult where he was constantly in very close proximity to those he worked with everyday.
Essentially it was a tight knit community which worked and lived together (I am reluctant to use the term commune here lol)... any way... a very different experience to what I and he himself were familiar with as a "rural bred Australians".

Anywho, he was speaking in a sense of the transition from identifying as an introvert to sort of having to adapt to a situation which requires a fair degree of extroversion...

It all makes me wonder all the more about human adaptability...


Hmmm furthermore it makes me wonder about my identity as a "country kid" familiar with the wide open spaces and quite at home with the isolation that comes with my own cultural identity...

Adaptability... its something that makes us so success as humans... it often feels that it seems to trump concrete beliefs of identity.


I see how this in some ways as a way to push you out of your own comfort zone. Sometimes a change of scenery is good change for self and its own normal orientation. Some of my biggest cues of awareness was when I was thrust in places uncomfortable, foreign and needing to take care of myself without much support or those comforts. Kind of opening up fully in ways where I had no choice but to face what was wanting to open up in me with the world and others.


Shaking things up tends to open up how we can adapt as humans, much like your friend shows. When the environment calls for it, sometimes you just have to dive in and learn how you can be, rather than how you think you are.

In some ways changing environments or changing things up, as I am learning and have learned, can bring wide open those aspects in you that think they don't fit, think they have to struggle, think they have to be a certain way, only to open a space of realization that we can find it within us in everyway of believing that everything we do need is in us to reach in and find. Again not holding yourself defined by your familiar nature.
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“God’s one and only voice are Silence.” ~ Herman Melville

Man has learned how to challenge both Nature and art to become the incitements to vice! His very cups he has delighted to engrave with libidinous subjects, and he takes pleasure in drinking from vessels of obscene form! Pliny the Elder
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