How can I heal from my issues with touch from my mother?

I find it strange I could hug other people and don't mind touching someone I'm intimate with. I never went through a traumatic experience with touch, but I feel like there must be something with me...
Even when I was baby I wasn't too fond of being touched. I felt like I was losing control.
What do you think would help me?

[Clover]

I think it's ok and normal not want to be touched at all. It's a personal preference,and in a lot of countries and cultures,minimal touch is actually very common,even preferred and respected actually.

I don't think there is anything wrong,imo.

Originally Posted by BlueClover

I think it's ok and normal not want to be touched at all. It's a personal preference,and in a lot of countries and cultures,minimal touch is actually very common,even preferred and respected actually.

I don't think there is anything wrong,imo.

Okay well thank you. I get mad when she kisses me on top of the head and only like her to touch me with my permission.
She's just made me feel guilty about it but she also didn't get as much physical contact from her parents as she deserved.

[Clover]

Originally Posted by LavenderStream

Okay well thank you. I get mad when she kisses me on top of the head and only like her to touch me with my permission.
She's just made me feel guilty about it but she also didn't get as much physical contact from her parents as she deserved.

Oh,gosh. First of all my apologies if I read wrong,I didn't realize you were talking about your mother.That is a really difficult one. I think it will take time for her to grasp that concept.It must be hard for her to "let you go". However,you do have a voice and you should let her know how it makes you feel. She will eventually get it.

[kristyjnh]

You might be interested in the Five Love Languages. According to this thoery, each person has one or two "language" that they respond most to, and occasionally one that they don't like or have an aversion to. The languages are...

Quality time,
Acts of Service,
Words of Affirmation,
Physical Touch, and
Gifts

Often, you can tell the language you are most receptive to by looking at which one you "speak". There's a quiz you can take on their site, just google 5 Love Languages.

I'm not a touchy person either, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just not my Love Language.

Originally Posted by kristyjnh

You might be interested in the Five Love Languages. According to this thoery, each person has one or two "language" that they respond most to, and occasionally one that they don't like or have an aversion to. The languages are...

Quality time,
Acts of Service,
Words of Affirmation,
Physical Touch, and
Gifts

Often, you can tell the language you are most receptive to by looking at which one you "speak". There's a quiz you can take on their site, just google 5 Love Languages.

I'm not a touchy person either, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just not my Love Language.

I recommend this book as well. I learned a lot of myself and my loved ones.

[Native spirit]

The question you ask could be asked by many people, i didnt get on with my mother and the feeling was mutial, i was never praised by either parent which to this day i find it hard to accept praise, it makes me feel uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with you for not wanting to toutch your parents, i was never hugged as a child but i can hug my friends and my kids it doesnt bother me, my husband was easy to hug as he was hugging the kids, but he always felt loved by his parents even though he wasnt higged much by them either.i think if you feel loved its easier to toutch people, i never felt that growing up so i couldnt hug my parents not that i wanted too, what you feel is normal,so dont feeel so bad,

Namaste

[Thunder Bow]

You hit the nail on the head when it comes to Control. Remember you are in Control about your personal space.

Originally Posted by Native spirit

The question you ask could be asked by many people, i didnt get on with my mother and the feeling was mutial, i was never praised by either parent which to this day i find it hard to accept praise, it makes me feel uncomfortable, there is nothing wrong with you for not wanting to toutch your parents, i was never hugged as a child but i can hug my friends and my kids it doesnt bother me, my husband was easy to hug as he was hugging the kids, but he always felt loved by his parents even though he wasnt higged much by them either.i think if you feel loved its easier to toutch people, i never felt that growing up so i couldnt hug my parents not that i wanted too, what you feel is normal,so dont feeel so bad,

Namaste

I make my mom feel bad but I tell her that I love her dearly and that I just feel like I'm losing control when touched sometimes with out my permission. I try to give her hugs sometimes to make up for it though and I tell her I love her everyday.