Conscious relating

[RedEmbers]

I am wanting to have a conversation about concious partnerships... concious relating.

Being aware of my motives and intentions with self and other.

I'd be interested in other perspectives on this.

[JustBe]

For me it all falls back to the relationship you build with yourself. So within any partnership, it’s taking responsibility for your feelings and reactions. Being open and honest to look at yourself in difficulties. I think one of the biggest relationship killers is blame. It’s often difficult to navigate openly if both parties are not on the same page, to work through things together, in this way, without running from themselves.

[lostsoul13]

Being on the same level discussion things with your partner and coming to a agreement or having a equilibrium—- it’s like mindful breathing - you have to mind being arguing or argumentative situations..

Having different likes and hobbies give the relationships a spark and having some banter is good for the spark.

Conscious relating gets easier over time; when you know the flaws of the other and build on that instead of the positives constantly let them drift into their own equilibrium but concentrate on the negative and use it to your advantage..

If one likes tea and the other likes coffee- one likes early mornings ; one can’t get up past 2pm( was the situation with me and my twin)
We had to relate to the other constantly giving and taking ~ building around so the other didn’t have to sacrifice—-

Things you need help with~ goal, ambitions: coming to agreement that the other will remind in a balanced way(when you share your life your sharing the pain also be it; the hassle of achieving something or the dentist) incorporating the other will give you a sense of union and unity- I know me and my twin likes our responsibility’s in maintaining our ambitions and goals but being a conscious support is good for any relationship—-

You share your dreams and build on a unified dream as well as keeping your independence—- it’s about giving the other time to breathe and grow how ever slow or fast that is??

I had terrible loose teeth and nerves would be set off every time dentist did work on my teeth : my twin flame couldn’t take that away but she could support me and relate —- soothing me and building me up- talking about it and reliving stress by exercising with me or walks with plenty of hugs, reassuring me.. I got a dentist appointment Wednesday and it’s gonna be the same again I sure miss my twin and the conscious relating!!!

Being a ambiance for the other and trying every trick in the book to not smoother the other even when they let them selfs go~ don’t be a judge—- but be a refuge but don’t make all the effort??!

Giving them time to learn things on their own and support them selfs than the weekly grocery shopping together??

Make things fun and try new things out {even if that means eating in constantly} cooking with your partner is great to take the strain away from things/

I never let my self go when my twin was around but I did when she went to suspended animation—-

Muscle and grooming always wearing a beaded-
Fast food instead of cooking daily I only managed to cook twice a week- still do..
Walks got shorter as I felt alone ( conscious support in some thing we have to take responsibility for, because right now there’s nothing that states we can be whole until reuniting happens and we become the same atom : live and die together—- that’s the goal.. but knowing the other is going through the same conflict—-

Little things like making the bed together or NOT making the bed conscious decision that arouse the consciousness..

Nothing like a white room filled with bed lining tossed around from your morning affection of each other~ aired not spared!

New ways of kissing- can get in routine of kissing the same way~ me and my twin are celibate and that’s all we do is hug and massage and kiss each other face all over—- new things and ways keep the energy always flowing..

[FallingLeaves]

to me that would seem like a natural extension of what I'm doing anyway, I'm always trying to be honest about my own motivations so I can get rid of stuff that doesn't serve so well, and understanding what others are up to is part of that. Because a lot of my bad habits are related to my perception of what others are doing... But at the same time I tend to get lost in other people, and there is no telling whether I could keep myself awake long enough to be of any real use to someone else... something I don't really have any experience with in this lifetime but historically I haven't done so well... sigh...

I don't think it would necessarily be an easy thing to be that way with someone, but, I've thought it might be worth it. Again, if only I could stay awake through it...

[RedEmbers]

Honesty with oneself seems to be key as mentioned here.

Blame can be quite detrimental, as I have discovered.
Taking responsibility of what is "mine" and what is "other" to own seems to soften this somewhat.

Actually, this is a timely reminder... haha.


Perhaps serving as a reminder that all relationships in my own life have been "concious" even if that was on a "subconscious" level. I was still aware of my intentions.

It helps in the context of this conversation to learn to voice those intentions some more for greater awareness of co -creation, alignment.

[RedEmbers]

Originally Posted by lostsoul13

Conscious relating gets easier over time;

new things and ways keep the energy always flowing..

I really liked how you used the phrase "building around" or as I initially read it, "building ground", as an option which is not sacrificial.

It sounds to me as though you are expressing an energy of lightness within a mutually agreed upon commitment to another here, Lost Soul. I like that, there is still an acknowledgement of human attachment existing with a sense of lightness of allowing and supporting one another's natural growth unfolding . I hope I am expressing this adequately.


I can really see how important it is to honour relationship to self here as well, I like the energy of having someone to better myself for, even if it is just myself for the moment, being accountable for another in the interests of keeping the flow of energy moving and not stagnant seems like a motivator for universal expansion.

Kind of reminds me of wanting to learn how to be a more reliable and supportive role model for one's child, an external motivator which facilitates growth more generally.

Thanks for sharing,

I kind of just answered in flow to your reply... there is plenty more which I could have written.

[RedEmbers]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

to me that would seem like a natural extension of what I'm doing anyway,

That makes an awful lot of sense to me.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

Blame can be quite detrimental, as I have discovered.
Taking responsibility of what is "mine" and what is "other" to own seems to soften this somewhat.

i was in a situation where I got so involved in taking responsibility for everything that I was taking responsibility even when it was the other person's creation... to balance that out I decided to start throwing the responsibility back in their face. So kind of blaming even though in some ways it may not be so smart... but on the other hand I'd had it with taking the 'blame' for things I never did... now I understand, ok if you don't want responsibility for what others have done just don't take responsibility for it, no need to throw it in other's face. Easier said than done though lol...

It helps in the context of this conversation to learn to voice those intentions some more for greater awareness of co -creation, alignment.

at this point I'm not so interested in 'creating' things as I am in getting rid of bad habits that get in the way of living life lol...

[RedEmbers]

That was a learning curve for me.

Growing up enmeshed and sensitive, I took on everything as my own. I had no clue what was mine and others.

I'm not even sure that I had a concept of other for quite some years.


I let people own their stuff now. I know what's mine

[FallingLeaves]

I'm a slow learner... but think I'm making progress

i almost reflexively do mini-relationships with the random people I meet. Kinda, knowing how however I act is affecting them based on their responses and trying to deal with my own response to that. Over the years I find my attitudes changing albeit slowly... I don't just fall apart about all the bad things I think people think about me any more... It is easier to make some sort of separation between their wants and me... not always pretty but easier lol!