I mentioned that I'd share some of my memories that I have - I've had quite a lot recently, as it is the anniversary of the Imperial Family's murders. That seems to be triggering a lot of flashbacks and recall. But, anyways here it goes. I have also written down most of them as well. Just to keep a record.
I always see things through his eyes. I feel his emotions, his happiness, frustration and anger. His sadness, and pain. His boredom. Anyways.
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- Leonid, the kitchen boy is playing with me. We are zig-zagging through the row columns between the wings of the Alexander Palace.
His uncle, Ivan Sednev is keeping watch over us.
- I'm climbing, or trying to climb up to the cabinet over the round sofa in the Maple Room.
Mama takes me away and holds me close.
- Mashenka and Shyvibzik wake me up from my sleep. It is the middle of the night and we all start chatting.
Olga comes in and drags them back to their bedroom, and tells me to go to sleep.
- The sound of the sea, as the Shtandart is sailing through the Skerries.
- I have my hands pressed against the glass of the window in the Maple Room. I'm very little, and Mama is holding me close.
It's snowing outside. The window feels very cold to touch.
- Mama and I are in the Maple Room. She has her hair down, and is wearing a flowery dressing gown. She is walking with a cane.
Papa and the girls are outside, talking and laughing on the balcony. I look down and see my reflection in a bowl. My head is shaved and I'm in my nightdress.
- I was a carriage with Mama and Papa. People were throwing flowers and waving to us, shouting "God Save The Tsar!"
Papa and I were saluting and Mama was bowing her head. She was in a long, white dress. There was a lot of music playing as well.
- Stavka. Papa was at his desk looking at papers. Mama and the girls arrived by train.
We were very happy to see them.
- Mama was sitting in a big, wicker chair. She was embroidering or knitting. Tatiana was next to her, and Olga was reading with me.
We were reading aloud from Pushkin's Evgeny Onegin.
- Wartime. Tsarskoe Selo. One night, Papa arrived back home from Stavka. He plopped into a chair looking so tired.
I came over and hugged him. He brightened and smiled.
- I was lying in my cot. It was late at night. There was a lot of pain, my leg hurt very much.
Tatya ran in and hugged me. She touched my leg gently and tried to console me.
- I was standing near a big man in uniform. He had many ribbons and medals on his chest.
He was standing next to Mama and Papa, talking to them.
- Memory of Shtandart running aground - There was a great banging noise, around luncheon, and everything crashed to the floor.
People were very excited and panicking. Papa called for order. Papa and Mama both were very calm.
I had gone to the gunwale to see what happened. Barrels and things were floating in the water below. Dina picked me up.
- The girls and I are playing hide-and-seek in the Pavilion Hall of the Winter Palace.
I climbed the stairs and hid up, behind the archway over them.
- It was very hot. Nastya had lost Jimmy. She was looking for him and I helped her look for him.
We found him near the play house on the island.
- I was playing with Joy, and the sun was shining slightly, behind the clouds. Nastya was calling for me.
I just wanted to sit and play with Joy. It was quiet and the weather was lovely.
- Tobolsk. Mama was sitting in her wheelchair by the window. Her eyes were heavy, she was in a long white dress, twirling her pearl necklace in her fingers.
I sat on her lap and she pulled me into a tight embrace and cried.
- Spala. Mama rested my head on her lap. I was screaming and crying. There was so much pain. My leg was very big.
She refused to leave me and stayed in the room all night.
- I'm running through Mama's rooms. The sunlight is shining through all of the windows.
- Nastasia and I are racing one another in our corridor upstairs.
The girls liked to roller skate up in the hallway.
- I was sitting in a troika, Mama was with me, and Nastya too. Mashka and Tatya were sledding nearby.
Olga came rushing by, with Nikita and they both fell into the snow and we all laughed.
- Olga was adjusting her dress and I laughed, looking away. Shyvibzik and I were playing a game of marbles and she won shouting "Hooray!"
Mashka was sitting with Tatya by the window, reading.
- We were all on the Shtandart. We were playing the frog game.
I put the string through the hole in the back of the paper frog. It was a racing game.
- We were all at Ania's place. Fr. Grigoriy was there as well.
We played some games, and he blessed us and had luncheon with us there.
- We were in the Baltic, by the shore, Nastya and I. Papa was laughing, stumbling onto the sandy beach.
We asked him what had happened and he replied "Mashka, dears" and we understood and laughed with him.
- Mashka was with me, and it was raining outside. We had just pulled up to the Palace.
I was wearing a black coat and sailor's cap.
- Papa was standing with a group of his officers. It was cold and I was wearing a heavy, brown coat.
We were at Stavka or another place, there were tents all around and a high fence.
- We were all sitting and a projector was playing. Everyone was watching home footage and we were all laughing.
It was footage of the Shtandart. My sisters and I were little and playing on the deck.
- Tobolsk. I was sitting with Mama. She was embroidering a blanket.
I was in my sailor suit. Her hair was greying.
- I'm sitting with Mama and Papa. Mama is knitting, and Papa is reading from a big book.
It is in Russian. I climb onto his lap and he reads it to me.
- Peterhof. Papa was puffing on his cigarette. We were outside and I was in my sailor suit, with shorts on.
I could feel sand beneath my feet.
- Alexander Palace. The girls and I were playing a game. I ran through the big mirrored door in the hall,
and hid behind it in the connecting room.
- We were all visiting a village. I was giving bread and something else to the villagers.
There was a young girl, my age who was in the crowd. She smiled at me and I smiled back.
She was very pretty and my sisters teased me after about it.
- Playroom. Mama and Papa were sitting near the door. There was a large toy boat sitting by the back wall.
There were other toys. Lots of tin soldiers with their own individual swords and guns. All in neat rows.
- Playroom. I sat in a chair as if I were presiding over a battle field. My sisters were all before me and were taking orders from me.
Nastasia was the only one who made it difficult.
- Tsarskoe Selo. I was driving my little motorcar through the paths.
Dina and Nagorny was close behind.
- The way the morning sunlight glimmered on the lilac silk in Mama's room.
- Tsarskoe Selo. Olga and I were posing for a photograph. We were on the lake.
After the photo was made I shoved her into the water.
- Peterhof. I am running down the stairs in our wing, shouting up to my sisters from the balcony of my floor.
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Anyways, I'm heading to get breakfast. Have a great day everyone!
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