guilt and impatience

Guilt is build by distrust in oneself. Always put high value on what you do and do it right so that you will feel happy and blessed.

Hello, will be hard to put in words, the things that i have in my mind. Especially, that my engish is not so good as i want it to be. But ill try.

Very recently after years of trying, i managed to practice patience and to control guilt finally.

My impatience was so huge, that my friend were telling me "if you are on this planet , in order to learn "patience", then you will come lot lot of times again for the same lesson, bc you seem you cant learn it.
But it happened!

It was not easy...My impatience was making me to be always unhappy, to complain to other ppl about how they treat me, bc i wanted them to show me faster their love and affection for example. I was nagging them all the time, which was making them to leave me fast. This has caused me a lot of pain. But the key is this pain exactly!!!!!!!
I used to run away from the pain...to do other things...to go to my friends and pretend all is ok...when i was too sad, i was behaving like i was the most happy person in the world, making them laugh etc. I was just hidding from my pain!

Last time that i felt this great big pain, i just have let myself to feel it, by accident.
It was just too late to find anyone. So i just have let myself to express it, to cry...(i used to be afraid to cry, bc at that moment i was feeling the pain growing bigger). Well this time yes it has grown bigger...but it had a stopping point...this point was, when i was at the depths of it.
And suddenly inside this big pain...i felt like i saw with different eyes...i saw that all these that i complain for have no sense...THEY PURELY DONT EXIST AT ALL!
I realised that all these things which hurt me, are so little ones, of no importance.
I realised that the "internal kid" that i have inside me bc of my bad childhood, is the problem.
Let me try to explain this a bit.
I beleive that all ppl who have trouble with impatience, is bc of their internal kid which is not healed.
My childhood was a very bad one. Violence, a bad sick father who was not able to give me love, the way i deserved it. The result? I was feeling that i dont worth enough, and i have used to feel the victim.
Every time that i was expressing impatience, was bc i HAD THE NEED to prove that i dont worth. I had the need to be again the victim. Think of it a bit...
Think of a situation of impatience that you are in...
For example "why this person, doesnt invite me for a coffee? Oww i dont worth enough, he doesnt like me". you dont have the patience to wait for it to happen...bc you feel allready that you dont worth it, this makes you angry and at some point you start nagging at that person, asking why he didnt do what you were expecting him to do...which he maybe would do soon enough if you were a bit patient to see it happening. But bc you are nagging at him and focring him you will never see it happen at the end! Instead, you will lose this person for good.

So what we have to do in order to get rid of impatience is to get rid first of the feeling that we dont worth enough, that we are unlovable!
We have to REPROGRAM our brains for this to happen!

I used some techniques in order to do that and the results were too fast!
I needed only few hours! in total 4 hours of a energetic pshycology treatment.
I did it with a therapist, but you can do it by yourself bc he just has shown me how to do it, and he calls this anyway SELF HEALING.
Ill try to describe what happened there.

The first has to do with guilt also. How to erase guilt actually.

Well you close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths and relax. You imagine (visualise), that you are in a place where everywhere are the colors you prefer. For example, i used blue and green, and i imagined a forest...a lake etc...
You imagine that you walk there, free...so free, happy, totally carefree.
At some point you find a place to sit...(can be next to the lake , or near a tree...anywhere that you feel is peacefull) and you see in front of you a big SCREEN... There is your present and future...from now on you can program everything in your life and everything will be the way you want it to be...(you think of this affirmation, before you start to create images inside the big screen) imagine yourself receiving love, imagine yourself being patient, imagine yourself surrounded by ppl who all love you, imagine that you help people, that you have no fears anymore, that you feel free, etc...(you can add any image to that, anything that you want to achieve.)

Then for a while, you turn and you look behind you...you observe that there is another monitor...not so big...but there is your past...
Images start to pass very quickly...you dont "pause" these images...BC YOU KNOW THEY HAVE NO IMPORTANCE...YOU DONT WANT THEM TO GO AT THE BIG PRESENT/FUTURE MONITOR...so they have no importance anymore...they just pass by in front of your eyes..for very few secs...all that images of pain, hurt, guilt, pass by all together in 10 secs..they dont matter anyway...you say inside you "they are of no importance. i send love to that images"

This way everytime that happens something similar in your life which reminds you of something of the past, you are programmed now to just "SEND LOVE" and the dont touch you...YES IT HAPPENS! i dont know how it was so powerfull but it worked with me i had a new programming and i wont be ashamed to write the example here.
My father is still in life. And i know i feel for him that he is the root for everythign bad that happened to me. So if he comes now and yells at me or says somethign bad as in the past...i jsut immediately feel "oh he is sick, his words cant touch me, i send him love" You cant imagine what peace i found from this simple technique!
It works by itself once you do it the right way! You dont have to force yourself to do it.
Other thing...if you have a memory was is too bad for you...Lets say it brings you guilt...
Well you bring it in your mind...you live it one more time...and you say at yourself...i accept myself the way it is but now i dont deserve anymore to feel guilt...You bring the memory once more...you do the same...i observed that if i do it 3-4 times in total and i really beleive what i affirm at tha tmoment it really helps...You still have the memory but you dont have anymore the INTENSITY of the energy which follows it, so it doesnt anymore touches you.

You can also do it with the SCREENS...and work one by one image...but always, stay only a bit at the bad past memories, only 5-10 secs lets say. And focus at the present and future.

Now about the internal kid...
Ofc kids are impatient...they have huge needs and not the simple needs that adults have...right? Psychiatry this calls it borderline...bc ppl with borderline have intense needs and feelings.
Well im a doctor and i can tell you that borderline is a myth...is just a name...
In all borderline ppl and in all ppl who experience extreme pain, intense needs , and fear of abandonment (the main things of borderline), we will observe a bad childhood!
When they were kids they were not receiving the intense love that a kid needs, so now thy stubbornly as kids, remain inside them KIDS, and they still try to find their mother or father through relationships...they try to find a person to love them so much and then to be the nr 1 as if they were kids!

Kids, are sweet ofc, and everyone loves your sweet behaviour...but kids are also impatient, stubborn, are llittle devils who make a discussion and a fight out of everything in order to obtain what they want! that big special love that they never have got in their lives.

So get rid of that internal kid!
Is hard...is tough...i know....but i decided to do it...and when i decided it...i didnt know what will happen next and how to control it...i thought that i lie to myself.
But i found myself next 2 days...SUDDENLY out of nowhere....to be PATIENT suddenly! I had a fight with a very good friend...which made me to say ok i throw away that internal kid..i wont be stubborn anymore to ask for too much love and proof of love...etc...I said it loudly to that friend...he said ironically "yeah ok..like you can control it!"...
I thought "he is right...i lie to myself and to him know..i cant control that!" But next day...i was not anymore impatient about what he will decide (he said he has to hink if he says goodbye for good to me or not) which other times would make me to experience great pain, and to have stress and to think al the time about what he is going ot decide.
Now no!!!!!!!!! Suddenly i was peacefull...patient...i was thinking "ok...even if he decides that he doesnt talk to me anymore...at least i had earned something! I learned from all these. I feel free, i feel patient...maybe thats why he was on my way" I was astonished from my way of thinking...of my patience...of my calmness!

I decided to do things for myself..things which make ME to feel happy...
to work more with some patients...to go out more...
All these, i was reading them in the past and i was thinking "oh great....just one more theory...how i can do all these when im in great pain?" BUT IS POSSIBLE...with these techniques is just happened by itself!

Not sure if i explained well...if someone has any questions i will be happy to answer if i can.

Just get rid off the complaints that the internal kid has...say to that kid "forget it! you never took the big love that you deserved as a kid...and is wrong to search for it now. Now you are a grown up. I love you the way you are." Dont stay a nagging kid anymore. Love yourself , it really works!

I feel happy while im in a situation, that in the past would give me big pain!
I feel free!
Ofc i have yet a lot of things to fight and the list goes on...more fears...etc...
But i see that i can do it now!

Take care...
Love to all...

Hope i helped a bit :)

owww and one more thing....read 2 books...

"the power of now" by eckhart tolle
and
"the school for gods" by Steffano E D anna

The 2nd one really will change your life, if you really sudy it and beleive in what it says...i promise :)

i know when you here it over and over it becomes like static noise, but really that is the key!!!

[Thinker108]

~ It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution

..........

Originally Posted by FairyNightwish

Hello, will be hard to put in words, the things that i have in my mind. Especially, that my engish is not so good as i want it to be. But ill try.

.................................

Take care...
Love to all...

Hope i helped a bit :)

That was great FN =) you did a great job of explaining your point in my opinion, and I not only think this is a great technique that I'm going to try using myself, but that was an inspirational story!
Thank you for sharing all of that for our benefit.

My best wishes to you on your journey of life

Thank you for your kind words curious student :)
Im glad that you gonna try that technique...let me know how it worked for you :)
My best wishes to you too... :)

Appreciate that guilt is a VERY low frequency emotion. Right down there w/ fear. All of the low frequency emotions & thoughts will affect your frequency powerfully, keeping it fairly low. Is this where you want to stay your whole life???

Ask what purpose is this guilt serving you now? Learning is about things like realizing that other choices may have been more productive. What wouldn’t be productive is not having this realization. Why do you feel you need to hang on to this guilt?

Everyone is living & learning. Don’t feel as if you have got to be some mistake free perfect automaton.

About patience, why not have it? We are on an eternal journey & eternity is a very, very long time. What’s the rush???? Appreciate that impatience is a low frequency thought which works against what are likely your goals. If one is trying to manifest, impatience is a sure fire way to neutralize it. For effective manifestation one puts it out there, then moves on, TRUSTing that it will manifest.

Originally Posted by Medium_Laura

Guilt is associated with regret and living in the past. Since you can't change your past, why dwell on it?

To rid yourself of guilt, acknowledge the past but then let it go and think of it no more. Think only of now. What can you do today to make your life better? Help someone else? Be an ear to an elderly neighbor? Right the past with the present.

The hardest part of manifesting is "letting go" and doing nothing. If you can, you will get more than you can ever desire.

Excellent post! I am where you are!!

Hello Laura. I understand all that you are saying here, or at least I think I do. I am ready to put my past behind me, but how can I not think about it, when it stares me in my face everyday?

I do my best to make life better, but somehow my focus is always on everyone else. I seem to leave me out of the equation.

Yet, I appear to struggle with the same emotions as the OP.

Thoughts?

Originally Posted by FairyNightwish

Hello, will be hard to put in words, the things that i have in my mind. Especially, that my engish is not so good as i want it to be. But ill try.

Very recently after years of trying, i managed to practice patience and to control guilt finally.

My impatience was so huge, that my friend were telling me "if you are on this planet , in order to learn "patience", then you will come lot lot of times again for the same lesson, bc you seem you cant learn it.
But it happened!

It was not easy...My impatience was making me to be always unhappy, to complain to other ppl about how they treat me, bc i wanted them to show me faster their love and affection for example. I was nagging them all the time, which was making them to leave me fast. This has caused me a lot of pain. But the key is this pain exactly!!!!!!!
I used to run away from the pain...to do other things...to go to my friends and pretend all is ok...when i was too sad, i was behaving like i was the most happy person in the world, making them laugh etc. I was just hidding from my pain!

Last time that i felt this great big pain, i just have let myself to feel it, by accident.
It was just too late to find anyone. So i just have let myself to express it, to cry...(i used to be afraid to cry, bc at that moment i was feeling the pain growing bigger). Well this time yes it has grown bigger...but it had a stopping point...this point was, when i was at the depths of it.
And suddenly inside this big pain...i felt like i saw with different eyes...i saw that all these that i complain for have no sense...THEY PURELY DONT EXIST AT ALL!
I realised that all these things which hurt me, are so little ones, of no importance.
I realised that the "internal kid" that i have inside me bc of my bad childhood, is the problem.
Let me try to explain this a bit.
I beleive that all ppl who have trouble with impatience, is bc of their internal kid which is not healed.
My childhood was a very bad one. Violence, a bad sick father who was not able to give me love, the way i deserved it. The result? I was feeling that i dont worth enough, and i have used to feel the victim.
Every time that i was expressing impatience, was bc i HAD THE NEED to prove that i dont worth. I had the need to be again the victim. Think of it a bit...
Think of a situation of impatience that you are in...
For example "why this person, doesnt invite me for a coffee? Oww i dont worth enough, he doesnt like me". you dont have the patience to wait for it to happen...bc you feel allready that you dont worth it, this makes you angry and at some point you start nagging at that person, asking why he didnt do what you were expecting him to do...which he maybe would do soon enough if you were a bit patient to see it happening. But bc you are nagging at him and focring him you will never see it happen at the end! Instead, you will lose this person for good.

So what we have to do in order to get rid of impatience is to get rid first of the feeling that we dont worth enough, that we are unlovable!
We have to REPROGRAM our brains for this to happen!

I used some techniques in order to do that and the results were too fast!
I needed only few hours! in total 4 hours of a energetic pshycology treatment.
I did it with a therapist, but you can do it by yourself bc he just has shown me how to do it, and he calls this anyway SELF HEALING.
Ill try to describe what happened there.

The first has to do with guilt also. How to erase guilt actually.

Well you close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths and relax. You imagine (visualise), that you are in a place where everywhere are the colors you prefer. For example, i used blue and green, and i imagined a forest...a lake etc...
You imagine that you walk there, free...so free, happy, totally carefree.
At some point you find a place to sit...(can be next to the lake , or near a tree...anywhere that you feel is peacefull) and you see in front of you a big SCREEN... There is your present and future...from now on you can program everything in your life and everything will be the way you want it to be...(you think of this affirmation, before you start to create images inside the big screen) imagine yourself receiving love, imagine yourself being patient, imagine yourself surrounded by ppl who all love you, imagine that you help people, that you have no fears anymore, that you feel free, etc...(you can add any image to that, anything that you want to achieve.)

Then for a while, you turn and you look behind you...you observe that there is another monitor...not so big...but there is your past...
Images start to pass very quickly...you dont "pause" these images...BC YOU KNOW THEY HAVE NO IMPORTANCE...YOU DONT WANT THEM TO GO AT THE BIG PRESENT/FUTURE MONITOR...so they have no importance anymore...they just pass by in front of your eyes..for very few secs...all that images of pain, hurt, guilt, pass by all together in 10 secs..they dont matter anyway...you say inside you "they are of no importance. i send love to that images"

This way everytime that happens something similar in your life which reminds you of something of the past, you are programmed now to just "SEND LOVE" and the dont touch you...YES IT HAPPENS! i dont know how it was so powerfull but it worked with me i had a new programming and i wont be ashamed to write the example here.
My father is still in life. And i know i feel for him that he is the root for everythign bad that happened to me. So if he comes now and yells at me or says somethign bad as in the past...i jsut immediately feel "oh he is sick, his words cant touch me, i send him love" You cant imagine what peace i found from this simple technique!
It works by itself once you do it the right way! You dont have to force yourself to do it.
Other thing...if you have a memory was is too bad for you...Lets say it brings you guilt...
Well you bring it in your mind...you live it one more time...and you say at yourself...i accept myself the way it is but now i dont deserve anymore to feel guilt...You bring the memory once more...you do the same...i observed that if i do it 3-4 times in total and i really beleive what i affirm at tha tmoment it really helps...You still have the memory but you dont have anymore the INTENSITY of the energy which follows it, so it doesnt anymore touches you.

You can also do it with the SCREENS...and work one by one image...but always, stay only a bit at the bad past memories, only 5-10 secs lets say. And focus at the present and future.

Now about the internal kid...
Ofc kids are impatient...they have huge needs and not the simple needs that adults have...right? Psychiatry this calls it borderline...bc ppl with borderline have intense needs and feelings.
Well im a doctor and i can tell you that borderline is a myth...is just a name...
In all borderline ppl and in all ppl who experience extreme pain, intense needs , and fear of abandonment (the main things of borderline), we will observe a bad childhood!
When they were kids they were not receiving the intense love that a kid needs, so now thy stubbornly as kids, remain inside them KIDS, and they still try to find their mother or father through relationships...they try to find a person to love them so much and then to be the nr 1 as if they were kids!

Kids, are sweet ofc, and everyone loves your sweet behaviour...but kids are also impatient, stubborn, are llittle devils who make a discussion and a fight out of everything in order to obtain what they want! that big special love that they never have got in their lives.

So get rid of that internal kid!
Is hard...is tough...i know....but i decided to do it...and when i decided it...i didnt know what will happen next and how to control it...i thought that i lie to myself.
But i found myself next 2 days...SUDDENLY out of nowhere....to be PATIENT suddenly! I had a fight with a very good friend...which made me to say ok i throw away that internal kid..i wont be stubborn anymore to ask for too much love and proof of love...etc...I said it loudly to that friend...he said ironically "yeah ok..like you can control it!"...
I thought "he is right...i lie to myself and to him know..i cant control that!" But next day...i was not anymore impatient about what he will decide (he said he has to hink if he says goodbye for good to me or not) which other times would make me to experience great pain, and to have stress and to think al the time about what he is going ot decide.
Now no!!!!!!!!! Suddenly i was peacefull...patient...i was thinking "ok...even if he decides that he doesnt talk to me anymore...at least i had earned something! I learned from all these. I feel free, i feel patient...maybe thats why he was on my way" I was astonished from my way of thinking...of my patience...of my calmness!

I decided to do things for myself..things which make ME to feel happy...
to work more with some patients...to go out more...
All these, i was reading them in the past and i was thinking "oh great....just one more theory...how i can do all these when im in great pain?" BUT IS POSSIBLE...with these techniques is just happened by itself!

Not sure if i explained well...if someone has any questions i will be happy to answer if i can.

Just get rid off the complaints that the internal kid has...say to that kid "forget it! you never took the big love that you deserved as a kid...and is wrong to search for it now. Now you are a grown up. I love you the way you are." Dont stay a nagging kid anymore. Love yourself , it really works!

I feel happy while im in a situation, that in the past would give me big pain!
I feel free!
Ofc i have yet a lot of things to fight and the list goes on...more fears...etc...
But i see that i can do it now!

Take care...
Love to all...

Hope i helped a bit :)

Genius.

Helped more than you will ever know. It made so much sense and resonated within me - wow is all that comes to mind right now. I understand this and am going to apply this technique. Awesome! I came here, same feelings, same complaints, and here is an answer within a matter of minutes.

Hope is alive?!!!