Loving our enemies ???

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

You being on the receiving end...That's rightfully your choice to make, but maybe you have greater ability to cope than others. Maybe it's easier for you let go of things because you have more experience with it, or maybe you have fewer attachments.

Hi, You express things so clearly. :)
Of course, I understand what you're saying...and YES, I have more experience ...with PAIN and injustices done to me. (Oh brother!)
And there does come a time we just have to stop caring and about what others do to slight us...and realize -"It's on them."
If anyone believes things...maybe even fires us...that is on them, also...
I have to stand tall in 'the truth' of the situation...head held high.

(Because what is the alternative? ---THAT's the nugget...me being miserable.) Oh the stories I could tell you
of the wrongs done to me that altered my life!

[Redchic12]

Flexigirl

Yes you are right we all do suffer from things other people have done to us but what I have discovered is that WE HAVE A CHOICE about the DEGREE of suffering that we will have. We can choose to let it consume us or not. You have the power to do that just as others have.

When I went thru one of the worst painful experiences of my life I continued to read about suffering from the Buddhist point of view and that helped me enormously. I was able to look at it from another angle and see it for what it really is and I coped much better for the four years it was going on.

For me personally I honestly believe that looking at myself FIRST before blaming others of their bad treatment towards me really has a positive effect in the long term.

However some negative things I’ve experienced from others have had to do with jealousy and nothing I have have done or said would have made any difference.

I didn’t realise it at the time but many years later I could see it all very clearly.

Hope this is helpful.

[Redchic12]

A Buddhist monk was answering questions from people who were complaining about other people abusing them and being badly treated. He said,

Let’s have a look at fire.
Fires basic nature is to burn, that’s what it does.
So if a fire is coming at you, you know it is going to burn you.
So what do you do.
You get out of its way of course.

So just like the fire you have people in this world whose basic nature is to burn (abuse). So you just don’t socialize with them anymore.

After hearing this, I’m sitting there thinking, well yep that makes sense to me but what if you are in a work environment and you can’t get out of their way. Wished ide asked him this but didn’t think about it until later.

So I came to the conclusion that maybe we can’t get out of their way physically but we can get out of their way mentally. Yep it sure is harder but it can be done.

But getting back to what he said, i feel he is quite right. I have managed to get away from the people that burn for many years now and it has made a huge difference to my life. Ahhhh the peace!

Just thought you might like that little story lol

[Native spirit]

I have heard that before but it is simple but also very true


Namaste

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

Of course, but, most everybody with few exceptions have some amount of power even if it's very small, so they have to have some amount responsibility. If a situation has gotten to the point where only person shoulders everything that's not sustainable. I would want to understand how it got that way.

ISAIAH chapter 53...

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

I have great admiration for you and everyone else who has put in the time and effort to grow, but we still have to suffer the consequences of other peoples choices. Sometimes other peoples choices cost us dearly.

yeah, in terms of what we've been led to believe we should desire to have to be sociable, the choices of others (especially those higher than us) would seem to often cost us dearly...

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

And there does come a time we just have to stop caring and about what others do to slight us...and realize -"It's on them."

You are so right. Our spiritual growth and overall happiness is vastly improved when we have the grace to let go of injustices committed against us. I think we should equally remember the grace others have shown us if ever we were unjust.

Though I would love to say I have grace in every situation, I cannot. I have limitations on what I am able to tolerate from others. I don't have the capacity to love someone who shows no empathy towards me and others. For that reason I cannot love anyone who intends harm to my loved ones, or myself. In fact I would say I have a personal responsibility to do what I can to prevent that person from harming others, within reason of course.

I suppose that makes me conditionally loving, but I don't see anything wrong with this. Living in the physical world means we have to abide by multiple conditions. And free will means we get to set standards for our own experience while we're here, so long as we don't violate others.

What I think the real problem is, conditional love has been repeatedly used to manipulate people into things they would otherwise not choose. It's sad because love has been weaponized.

At the end of the day though, I wouldn't close the door on someone who admits their mistakes and sincerely wants to change. In that sense I would become more loving. Though all these factors depend on how full my own cup is.

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Hi, You express things so clearly. :)

Thank you so much! Communicating my thoughts that other people will understand but also want to read is a challenge for me. That means a lot!

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

So I came to the conclusion that maybe we can’t get out of their way physically but we can get out of their way mentally. Yep it sure is harder but it can be done.

I just don't think it's possible to mentally escape an abusive person without physically escaping. In my opinion you would always have to be on your guard around them.

[Native spirit]

We all have our own opinions and Beliefs but they are our own PLEASE keep this post polite or it will be closed.


Namaste

[Redchic12]

FlexiGirl you state: “It’s just not possible to escape an abusive person without physically escaping”


Yes I totally agree with you. I feel you have no choice but to physically get away from a person if there is continual physical abuse.

But my above comments were related to someone in the workplace giving you a hard time. But I guess even in that situation, if the abuse gets really bad such as sexual harassment then we must also physically leave the place. But then again, we can report it and hopefully see a change in the situation. Maybe it depends on how strong we are mentally. Some can deal with it easier than others.

Every person and every situation is unique and at the end of the day we all have to do what we gotta do to survive in this world.

The above story a wrote about the fire has certainly helped me personally and I still feel it has some merit cos we still only have 2 choices ie let ourselves be burnt or remove ourselves from the fire.