Reluctant to talk about this.

[russianpast_1904]

Morning everyone! Just a quick post and I'll be on my way ^_^.

So, the anniversary (for the first time ever) went by so... This was the first time there wasn't fear, anxiousness and/or flashbacks. Marie was with me, and a close friend and I slept perfectly fine. I didn't have dreams which was a plus. Marie also told me it wasn't like other times when she would be anxious, frightened, etc. I think being together for it certainly was a good idea. Though she thought I'd climb into her bed at 2 a.m. because she knows me well enough. But I didn't and it surprised her but it also made her feel happy too because I didn't wake up and feel scared. This is honestly the first anniversary that I've been relatively OKAY. That same day, someone uploaded quite a few Romanov photograph albums and she and I were leafing through them and I started to get really emotional, crying and what not. Mashka closed my laptop and said "Nope, we need to do happy things. Think of happy thoughts." And she was right. She leaves tomorrow but will still be near me, just a long drive away. I'll miss her but having her here for this period of time, during this specific part of the year was... healing I suppose? I don't know if it healed me entirely. Or if it healed her entirely. But it certainly did us some good. I believe that whole heartedly!

Anyways, have a great Saturday everyone! Or Sunday, depending where you are!

[russianpast_1904]

Morning everyone. How are you all? I always ask people that, it's just my way of greeting people. I didn't sleep well, less than two hours at most I think. Horrible nightmares. A wicked thunder storm early this morning woke me from what little sleep I had gotten. So here I am, running on only a few hours of sleep. But anyways, that's not the reason I'm posting today.

So the nightmares I had, two of them (though this probably should be in the dreams section of the forum) relate in part to Alexei's life. I had fallen asleep in the living-room, and Mashka went to get herself ready for bed. She didn't want to wake me up so she let me sleep there. I woke up and heard the shower running and dozed off for maybe a few minutes. Maybe it was longer? I don't know.

I was on a platform and there was a weird-looking train. Lots of people were getting on the train or waiting. We were waiting, Mashka and I. I don't know who we were waiting for (I think it was the rest of our family). Mashka got on the train from the platform, because she had her ticket. I had the money for the ticket but I didn't have my ticket. So I climbed on and the train began moving. The conductor was collecting tickets and he had a glass screen before him. A black woman was on the train and she didn't have her ticket either so she told the conductor he couldn't kick her off. The thing about this platform and the train is I've dreamed about it before. Lots of people trying to get on, lots of people waiting. This was the first time Mashka was on it with me.

Then I was in my mother's basement. Back home (a few years ago I moved). I was getting a white towel from the dryer and it was still damp. I heard and could see a bunch of white-clothed people descending down upon the back door of the house and I tried to flip the light switch above the dryer but it wouldn't go off. I tried again and it wouldn't go off. And then the back door flung open and I was arguing with these people and a woman grabbed my towel as I waved it in defense at them and she told me to "shut the f*** up!" and I told her "No you shut the f*** up you b****!" I was trying to close the door. I then heard the sudden sound of boots approaching me. Echoing off the floor and then the cocking of a gun sounded.

I awoke bewildered, half-crying and hyperventilating. My heart was racing very fast. Mashka came running out because she'd heard me yell something and I just broke into sobs and told her what happened in my dreams and she comforted me and then we talked about that night, the night we died.

I remembered the sound of the guard's boots as they approached the door. I remembered the colour of the coat Yurovsky (the Commandant) was wearing, it was black leather. I remember that I was looking over Papa's shoulder as Yurovsky said something that I don't remember. I knew he was speaking but I couldn't hear him. Mashka said "I remember that too, not being able to discern what he said." She held me and she was crying and she said "I shouldn't have left you out here. I should have made you go to your bed. You would have been much safer!" And I cried and said "Nonsense" and then I got so very angry. Angry at what those men did to Papa, Mama and everyone. My hands were balling into fists and I could hear in the darkness the sound of them crinkling into the leather sofa I was laying on. I wanted to do what they did to poor Papa. I was so angry. I wanted to shoot them so many times and make them fall like Papa had fallen before us all. And then Mashka was laughing for a moment and said to me "That's so Alexei of you to say that." And I laughed and shook my head. "Nonsense Mashenka." And she said "Da." And then I got off the sofa, crying and sobbed in her arms and she was crying as well and we sat on the floor holding one another. I kept saying I was sorry and she refused me to say that, telling me it wasn't my fault for what happened that night. I know it wasn't, but I just felt like I couldn't protect anyone and frozen in that chair I was placed in... I couldn't get up. I couldn't walk. I was useless.

After we had cried for good several or so minutes, I asked could I sleep in her bed. She said that I could, just that I should bring an extra blanket and my pillow and icon of Papa. (I ended up bringing more icons and put them in the icon corner of the room) I laid down and she was brushing her teeth which I had also done, and she came in and got in bed and I clung to her. I was so scared. I've not felt that kind of fear in forever. She held me close and then began to recite a Russian prayer of protection and said that now I shouldn't have anymore dreams that I'll be able to sleep. Well, I couldn't sleep. I had to use the bathroom so I got up and while there I was scrolling through Instagram and reading posts on the Romanovs and enjoying them. They were really good. I even laughed. At the same time I heard some movement outside the bathroom door and thought she had been in the kitchen but she said she hadn't. So that spooked me. So after, I got back in bed and could tell she fell asleep. But I said I couldn't sleep and she said "Well you are looking at your phone," and then she went back to sleep. I wanted to read to her the posts but I didn't want to re-wake her. I tried to sleep. I laid there for a good period and just stared up at the ceiling. I thought someone was in the apartment and it was so dark except for some light filtering from my roommate's bedroom across from her room. I was freaking out and hyperventilating again and I sat bolt up right in the bed sobbing and wanting Mashka to hold me but she was sleeping. I got up from the bed and went over to the icon corner and knelt down. I grabbed her prayer book and read aloud several prayers and just felt so drained and tired. I didn't know what to do. I laid back in bed and somehow I fell asleep but then got woken up by a wicked and loud thunderstorm. The lightening was flashing every single second and the thunder was so loud! I put my fingers in my ears, something I've done since I was a little boy. I was frozen and crouching in bed trying to block out the noise. I don't like loud noises, not even fire works (I can listen to them from say watching a video, but not in person. They unnerve me and I shake a lot). So the storm subsided and now as I'm typing this it's sunny outside - like nothing happened. It was very hot yesterday - too hot. Mashka and I went grocery shopping and we walked because we thought it wouldn't be too bad out. We were sweating so profusely and thought my face was melting. It was that hot. After we just stayed inside yesterday to keep cool.

Anyways, I just needed to write that out. I feel a little better, though still tired. I took a shower earlier this morning and I thought it would help. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

Anyways, so yeah. I hope you all had a better night than I did. I sincerely hope so.

Love to you all.

- russianpast_1904

[russianpast_1904]

Good evening (or Good morning, as this post will be finished probably after midnight here) everyone! I just wanted to share with you this photograph of the current progress of the reconstruction of the Maple Living-Room at the Alexander Palace in Tsarskoe Selo, Russia.

Quite a few of my memories revolve around this room. When I first had any awareness of the possibility that I could have been Alexei Romanov in my past life, this room was one of the first rooms I saw a photograph of. It was a black and white photograph from the 1930's and I knew I had been there before. I knew the colours most of all. There were written descriptions from the time period, and after as well but in my head I had a very set image. I painted a few watercolours of it, and when the autochrome negatives surfaced (two made of the room - early colour photography chemical process) I was very amazed that I had gotten it right. I had this very clear recollection of the ceiling and how there was a green ring around the white center. It was one of Alexei's favourite rooms - next to the Parade Enfilade and his Playroom upstairs on the Children's Floor. It was the family's informal living-room and was a place for meals, tea-time, relaxing, as well as, the visits of dignitaries where the Empress would have receptions with them. That carpet (yet to be installed) was ridiculously soft. It was perfect for laying on. The one thing I remember most is the way the sunlight came through the tall windows. I have this one memory where I'm running at what feels like break-neck speed (to a small child, that makes sense lol) through Mama's rooms. The sunlight is sparkling through them, lighting the big rooms - and the Maple Living-Room sticks out to me in that memory. The way the sunlight hit the curtains, and glimmered off the polished wooden decorations. The smell of the polish which was heady. And the distinct smell of ink and lemons. Mama would have tons of flowers and plants in this room - well in all of her rooms to be honest. This room though had the most flowers and plants. The rainbows the sunlight made in the glass panes on the balcony (it was called an Entresol back then or Mezzanine). At night it was entirely transformed with soft lighting from behind the high ceiling. It was like a fairy world - that's the best way to describe it.

When I saw this photograph (accompanied with a video), I froze and let out a audible gasp. It felt like my heart stopped for a moment and I heard music out of nowhere. It was faint but cheerful music. It was familiar but I couldn't tell you the title of the piece. The video which is a 360 degree view of the room... I had a spontaneous memory of spinning around quickly, and the ceiling spinning much faster than it was in the video.

Anyways, before this turns into a small novel (as my posts are wont to do), I just wanted to share this small but wonderful experience with you all.

Love to you all!

[russianpast_1904]

Hey - sorry I've been pretty quite for the past few days. I've been dealing with some important things. Life (now) gets in the way, of course whether we like it or not. Sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better.

I hope everyone is safe and healthy.

[russianpast_1904]

http://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/...&oe=5F47DE 21

Hey everyone! It's been quiet here - I've been busy and had a health scare over the past few days. Thankfully, I'm not sick and yesterday made me appreciate life that much more so!

Anyways, I wanted to share this photograph because it was incredibly familiar to me. I happened upon it doing a random search and I didn't get a memory per se but the sound of motors running, rattling along the road. The Tsar and Alexei are sitting in the back seat - Alexei is to the left, in front the light pole. I don't remember much from this but the familiarity was very strong seeing it. I have a weird thing (I guess?) where I collect photographs of the reviews and military parades which the Tsar presided over. Alexei was present at most if not all of them. When he was ill, it was not to be so. I always feel a great deal of pride and honour seeing footage of these parades and reviews. Even the photographs elicit that feeling for me. Russian military marches also have the same effect. I can listen to them for hours on end. My heart swells with pride!

It's funny because I have no taste to join any branch of the military, or it in general. But I love watching footage of these parades and I love collecting photographs. It's ironic because when I was little and growing up, my family always told me "you belong in the Navy." But I didn't want to. I wanted to be free, whatever that meant (at the time). Now I understand why, I suppose? Alexei was always in a Russian naval uniform. He always wore a sailor cap with a tally ribbon of "Shtandart" in gold Cyrillic letters woven into the tally. He wore medals, had other uniforms but the naval uniform was the one he mostly wore during his life - up until the War years and subsequently exile, and death.

In this life I have an authentic Russian naval jacket, which was gifted to me by a former friend. I bought the telnyashka (under shirt) from Sears years ago, and also the visorless sailor cap I own (from eBay). I plan on purchasing two new caps - One for Winter, and the other for Summer. My current one is getting very old and it is frayed.

Around the same time I got the naval jacket, another friend (whom I no longer talk to) gifted me a very special gift which I treasure immensely. I remember when he sent it, I shook the package because I was curious and I thought it might be a book. It was a book, but not a real book. It was gift box in the form of a book with Russian Orthodox icon imagery all over it. I shook the box and I heard something make an audible thud. I carefully opened the box and just stared down. On one side, bordered with the Order of St. George ribbon was a photograph or a copy of a photograph of Alexei in his military military tunic, his St. George Medal displayed proudly on his chest. I turned my head and looked over and saw the same medal (not the original in the photograph) sitting in the bottom of the gift box. I remember reaching for it and taking it into my hands and feeling so overwhelmed with emotion. I felt so surprised (for one), and very happy to see that medal before me. I knew why this friend had sent me this - He knew I believed I could have been Alexei in my past life and sent me it, giving little hints and clues but never fully telling me the reality of it. Alexei in 1916 was awarded the Order of St. George Medal, Fourth Class, Civil Issue and there is a photograph made during the same day where he is standing with his father, the Tsar who was also awarded a medal, the Order of St. George Cross. Alexei was incredibly proud of that medal. And I suppose that's the feeling I felt, mixed with happiness, a rush of muffled sobbing and thinking if I dropped it or let it go, it would disintegrate into a million tiny pieces. This same friend also sent a little cut-out photograph which he copied from a military magazine which features this same portrait surrounded by a stylised Order of St. George ribbon. It is taped to part of my bedroom wall, along with a bunch of other Romanov postcards and some other things. I remember when I first wore the medal it felt right. It felt good. It felt good to be able to wear it again - even if it wasn't the one I had on that last night I was alive. It was a copy, sure but it's the same image - the same ribbon. It's one you can find on eBay - it's a replica.

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net...& oe=5F47CCA1

But, it's mine. I couldn't truly explain just how much that medal means to me. To have it again, is very special. I feel pride every time I see it when I pass by it. I smile and feel such honour. I guess that is the best way to describe it. Honour and pride.

Anyways, I just wanted to share this and the photograph I mentioned above.

Much love, blessings and good health to you all!

Originally Posted by russianpast_1904

http://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/...&oe=5F47DE 21

Hey everyone! It's been quiet here - I've been busy and had a health scare over the past few days. Thankfully, I'm not sick and yesterday made me appreciate life that much more so!

Anyways, I wanted to share this photograph because it was incredibly familiar to me. I happened upon it doing a random search and I didn't get a memory per se but the sound of motors running, rattling along the road. The Tsar and Alexei are sitting in the back seat - Alexei is to the left, in front the light pole. I don't remember much from this but the familiarity was very strong seeing it. I have a weird thing (I guess?) where I collect photographs of the reviews and military parades which the Tsar presided over. Alexei was present at most if not all of them. When he was ill, it was not to be so. I always feel a great deal of pride and honour seeing footage of these parades and reviews. Even the photographs elicit that feeling for me. Russian military marches also have the same effect. I can listen to them for hours on end. My heart swells with pride!

It's funny because I have no taste to join any branch of the military, or it in general. But I love watching footage of these parades and I love collecting photographs. It's ironic because when I was little and growing up, my family always told me "you belong in the Navy." But I didn't want to. I wanted to be free, whatever that meant (at the time). Now I understand why, I suppose? Alexei was always in a Russian naval uniform. He always wore a sailor cap with a tally ribbon of "Shtandart" in gold Cyrillic letters woven into the tally. He wore medals, had other uniforms but the naval uniform was the one he mostly wore during his life - up until the War years and subsequently exile, and death.

In this life I have an authentic Russian naval jacket, which was gifted to me by a former friend. I bought the telnyashka (under shirt) from Sears years ago, and also the visorless sailor cap I own (from eBay). I plan on purchasing two new caps - One for Winter, and the other for Summer. My current one is getting very old and it is frayed.

Around the same time I got the naval jacket, another friend (whom I no longer talk to) gifted me a very special gift which I treasure immensely. I remember when he sent it, I shook the package because I was curious and I thought it might be a book. It was a book, but not a real book. It was gift box in the form of a book with Russian Orthodox icon imagery all over it. I shook the box and I heard something make an audible thud. I carefully opened the box and just stared down. On one side, bordered with the Order of St. George ribbon was a photograph or a copy of a photograph of Alexei in his military military tunic, his St. George Medal displayed proudly on his chest. I turned my head and looked over and saw the same medal (not the original in the photograph) sitting in the bottom of the gift box. I remember reaching for it and taking it into my hands and feeling so overwhelmed with emotion. I felt so surprised (for one), and very happy to see that medal before me. I knew why this friend had sent me this - He knew I believed I could have been Alexei in my past life and sent me it, giving little hints and clues but never fully telling me the reality of it. Alexei in 1916 was awarded the Order of St. George Medal, Fourth Class, Civil Issue and there is a photograph made during the same day where he is standing with his father, the Tsar who was also awarded a medal, the Order of St. George Cross. Alexei was incredibly proud of that medal. And I suppose that's the feeling I felt, mixed with happiness, a rush of muffled sobbing and thinking if I dropped it or let it go, it would disintegrate into a million tiny pieces. This same friend also sent a little cut-out photograph which he copied from a military magazine which features this same portrait surrounded by a stylised Order of St. George ribbon. It is taped to part of my bedroom wall, along with a bunch of other Romanov postcards and some other things. I remember when I first wore the medal it felt right. It felt good. It felt good to be able to wear it again - even if it wasn't the one I had on that last night I was alive. It was a copy, sure but it's the same image - the same ribbon. It's one you can find on eBay - it's a replica.

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net...& oe=5F47CCA1

But, it's mine. I couldn't truly explain just how much that medal means to me. To have it again, is very special. I feel pride every time I see it when I pass by it. I smile and feel such honour. I guess that is the best way to describe it. Honour and pride.

Anyways, I just wanted to share this and the photograph I mentioned above.

Much love, blessings and good health to you all!

hi, good you are alright :) thank you for sharing. I learn long time ago with me that even if i saw pics from my past life self it did very little if anything, would not trigger, but same actually goes from when i look at some pics from my own life - can't remember where we were etc. i have been bless to have seen proof of what I had before seen in flashbacks and it is always amazing, some things I thought real hard on thinking could not have been true to then showed itself to be 100% and give an explanation to it that I had not realized.

I try to avoid if I can movies etc because I don't want it to trigger something, but maybe it would not have done so anyhow, it is just that one time I did and it felt all too familiar with some things.

[russianpast_1904]

Originally Posted by asearcher

hi, good you are alright :) thank you for sharing. I learn long time ago with me that even if i saw pics from my past life self it did very little if anything, would not trigger, but same actually goes from when i look at some pics from my own life - can't remember where we were etc. i have been bless to have seen proof of what I had before seen in flashbacks and it is always amazing, some things I thought real hard on thinking could not have been true to then showed itself to be 100% and give an explanation to it that I had not realized.

I try to avoid if I can movies etc because I don't want it to trigger something, but maybe it would not have done so anyhow, it is just that one time I did and it felt all too familiar with some things.

Hey asearcher! Good to see you ^_^. Yep, I'm relieved that I'm not sick. It was nerve-wracking and frightening but I'm okay! It's interesting what can/cannot trigger your memories to come flooding back. For me it is photographs and sometimes it comes from the old newsreel footage from back then. Certain things or moments just pop out at me and I cannot ignore it. I've learned not to ignore these moments - to just let them flow. I understand the "was this even real?" questions that you ask there. I have asked the same questions myself, but time and time again I'm validated and it's wonderful to be validated. But again, sometimes I doubt myself and say "I wasn't Alexei" and then I get a rude-awakening of a ton of memories or emotions that were his flooding through the gates and it's overwhelming and I know not to doubt myself. There's a reason I have these memories. His memories. We'll never truly know, will we?

Hope you are well, and healthy!
Blessings to you, and your family!

Originally Posted by russianpast_1904

Hey asearcher! Good to see you ^_^. Yep, I'm relieved that I'm not sick. It was nerve-wracking and frightening but I'm okay! It's interesting what can/cannot trigger your memories to come flooding back. For me it is photographs and sometimes it comes from the old newsreel footage from back then. Certain things or moments just pop out at me and I cannot ignore it. I've learned not to ignore these moments - to just let them flow. I understand the "was this even real?" questions that you ask there. I have asked the same questions myself, but time and time again I'm validated and it's wonderful to be validated. But again, sometimes I doubt myself and say "I wasn't Alexei" and then I get a rude-awakening of a ton of memories or emotions that were his flooding through the gates and it's overwhelming and I know not to doubt myself. There's a reason I have these memories. His memories. We'll never truly know, will we?

Hope you are well, and healthy!
Blessings to you, and your family!

hi thank you, the same to you :) I have to say I was rather let down when I did not get more flashbacks, knowledge from looking at pics in one aspect, in another relieved. what i miss the most were some people in that life, even the ex husband which i guess says a lot (not romantically, though. romantically we were a stormy couple). i have never enjoy looking at a pics of my past life self, perhaps because...well I don't know, actually...we kind of look alike...but i could see something in her eyes, she wasn't happy, trying to be, thinking she should be, but wasn't. when looking happy she looks to be when she is photographed with a child of hers.

i died as an adult although still young. do you think because of your age when you died - there is another issue for you to not be able to move on, if you know what i mean by this?

i can feel this recent past life very strong like it is almost always there maybe because of all those memories all those years. there was no preparation she would die like that and so i think then it is different from when one is preparaed and when one die for lets say old age and a peaceful way to go. they would try to push investigations to get some answers so the family was not letting it go either - perhaps it was those bruises on my body (abuse from an ex, but not the ex husband) that caused this behavoir.

thank you i am doing fine too :)

how do you relate to your old self, like a little brother to you? can you feel that it is so young in thoughts etc? just curious to know...

[russianpast_1904]

Originally Posted by asearcher

hi thank you, the same to you :) I have to say I was rather let down when I did not get more flashbacks, knowledge from looking at pics in one aspect, in another relieved. what i miss the most were some people in that life, even the ex husband which i guess says a lot (not romantically, though. romantically we were a stormy couple). i have never enjoy looking at a pics of my past life self, perhaps because...well I don't know, actually...we kind of look alike...but i could see something in her eyes, she wasn't happy, trying to be, thinking she should be, but wasn't. when looking happy she looks to be when she is photographed with a child of hers.

i died as an adult although still young. do you think because of your age when you died - there is another issue for you to not be able to move on, if you know what i mean by this?

i can feel this recent past life very strong like it is almost always there maybe because of all those memories all those years. there was no preparation she would die like that and so i think then it is different from when one is preparaed and when one die for lets say old age and a peaceful way to go. they would try to push investigations to get some answers so the family was not letting it go either - perhaps it was those bruises on my body (abuse from an ex, but not the ex husband) that caused this behavoir.

thank you i am doing fine too :)

how do you relate to your old self, like a little brother to you? can you feel that it is so young in thoughts etc? just curious to know...

Hello again Asearcher! I couldn't agree more with all that you have said here! I know I don't look 100% the same as Alexei, but there are some similarities. I have birthmarks in certain areas which correspond with the memories/flash backs I have of the night Alexei and his family died. I also am hard-of-hearing (not majorly so, but I have to have people repeat things once or twice, maybe three times) in my right ear. I also would get terrible ear infections as a kid - that could be why haha. But Alexei was shot just behind his ear and despite that, it didn't kill him. I have memories of (as I mentioned I think?) being in the bed of the truck that had been outside waiting in the courtyard. I think I'm so tethered to that life (if it was mine), because of how it ended. It was so abrupt and didn't end quickly. It was drawn out. It was brutal and very, very painful. But the things that override that are images, the flashbacks of the girls, Mama and Papa, and our servants and Dr. Botkin dying. How it all happened.

Anyways, I should stop talking about that. The anniversary passed (102 years) so I'm going to try and focus on other things. Happier things. It's hard though, I'll admit what with a pandemic happening all over the World. This year has been nothing but trigger after trigger. I've talked to my girl-friend about it, other friends and some of my sisters. It's almost like a constant reminder of what it was like in Russia in 1917. How things were so uncertain. The Measles, which we had all been stricken with. One of my sisters (Alexei's) was tested positive for Covid-19 recently. She's doing a bit better, but goodness have I been worrying over and over. Praying, etc. She's eating again, which I'm so grateful to know that. She wasn't eating for a while. So there's that to contend with.

Now I'm veering so far off topic, forgive me dear!

Thanks for replying though and I'm glad you are okay!! Stay healthy!

[Tobi]

Dear Russianpast1904,

You have a gracefulness about you, and a lovely way of writing.

What happened to Alexei, and all the girls, and indeed to Nicholas and Alexandra is quite heartbreaking. They did not deserve to be murdered so brutally.
It is particularly heartbreaking for the young women who had not yet had the chance to live much of their lives.

I feel so strongly about this and my mother told me about it when I was a child, and my grandmother was upset all her life about that tragedy.

For some reason I can't understand, this moves so many people so deeply. It moves them on a deep semi-conscious level.

I have never been able to understand why. There must be a spiritual reason. What that is, may be a little beyond us in this dense level we live on.

From the 1920s it began to show itself, with the woman, Anna Anderson, who presented with a very convincing conviction that she was the surviving Anastasia. I was amazed by her "recollections" of many events to do with the Imperial Family....her stories.....(how could she have known such details?) Maria Fedorovna, Anastasia's grandmother, then living in Denmark (luckily), did not acknowledge her as Anastasia however. Surely one's grandma should know?

There have been others since.

They are not imposters. They are not after the Romanov fortune. They are not trying to claim such things. All they want is to find their family, and find closure.
But what is going on?
Something is....and something that is surely valid. But is it what we immediately think it is? Or something more complex, or deep, in the collective consciousness?

I myself, have felt this influence. As a child I was moved to an "almost-memory" by seeing a picture of the diamond star....by seeing and holding a faberge egg in my late teens....by touching other works by Faberge (in a quaint little shop run by Marina Bowater in Kensington)
I was moved to speechlessness, and felt visceral strong threads of connection.

But when I put it to my "Inner Instinct" (at a later date), I was not convinced this was a direct reincarnation experience, but something else going on with the Collective Consciousness. Why is it happening to so many people?
We may be missing what it is,. We may not be aware of what it is,. because it may be much wider than we think, and unfathomable in this density.

God bless Nicholas, Alexandra, Alexei, Maria, Tatiana, Olga, and Anastasia. May their Souls have found a beautiful place in the next world (as I feel they did) May it be healed.
God bless Russia, so long-suffering under one regime or the other. They never had it easy.