ok
he thought
he would address
the elephant in the room
since it keeps wandering around in there
he realizes,
that with all this talk
about 'me me me'
what 'I am'
what 'I think'
he is the perfect candidate
for being a narcissist...
he won't defend himself on this
if someone wants to call him that
they are welcome to
after all
as he is recently learning
there is more to life
than him getting to
have others
say nice words about him
but at the same time
he thinks
there is more to it than that
so he'd like to describe
his thoughts on this
if he may
-------------------------------------------------
in times past
he's been all about
everyone else
taking care of others
trying to give them things they want or need
but it has come at a high cost
to himself
there has been very little
for him
as time has marched onwards
and onwards
in fact they've sometimes complained
about what a good doormat he makes
and he just went on anyway...
in this life
he was more or less the same
all about
trying to figure out
the needs of the others
but then one day
he stumbled on
the meaning of all this
which is to say
he can't know
the meaning of all this
but
it was clear
it does have good reason
for being the way it is
as 'imperfect' as we want to call it
I guess at that point he knew to trust
that god has this well in hand
that there is really nothing he could add
to the plan god already has running
and has had
long before his existance
in fact he realized
that all his meddling
in the lives of others
was very likely
getting in the way
of what they needed to be doing
for themselves
it was definitely getting in the way
of what he needed to be doing
for himself
at that point it also became obvious
that if he still wanted to help
the best possible thing he could do
was give up trying to help
and figure out
who he was
what he was
what he wants
for a change
so his own needs
seemed to merge with the needs
of others
for once in his life
this is
not so much
to be on a quest
to get what glory
he could for himself
in fact he personally considers
that
he has been
resisting the idea
of seeking glory
in some ways he thinks
it is a very limiting thing to have
but because
in his experience
we're all in this together
and what one dares do
in the name of honestly
dealing with the hand we have been dealt
has a way of spreading around
so while he doesn't think of it often
in some ways
he feels like
the best way he could find to help
was simply to be
the best version
of himself
that he could be
which contrarily entails
also
not looking like he is
being of much help
in fact he knows
that the way it looks
to those around
is that he is quite self-centered
and selfish.
So anyway
if you think
the very fact
of saying the words
'me me me'
makes him a narcissist
well then
he is a narcissist
it wouldn't be the first time
he was judged harshly
but he finds
people rarely look beyond face value
so their estimation of him
may in fact be wrong.
still
he also realizes
he doesn't have a firm grip
on what is what
only god has that
and there is a chance
also
that they might be right...
so use the word to describe him
if you want
and treat him accordingly
if you want
he'll just live with your decision
he's gotta learn
how to deal with loss
sometime
might as well be now...
sigh.
Im sorry to cut in, I just want to reiterate that yes, girls can be mean. I am one, and I have a hard enough time keeping friendships. They frustrate me too! Heck, I frustrate myself! This is partly why I stay antisocial and got a cat. Lol
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