Deprivation

[Siemens]

I‘m going through a Dark Night oft the Soul Experience since I’m 25. This was 12 years ago. My official diagnosis is depression, but it is more than that. I never had friends, relationships, a job, money, hobbies, sex, family… and any other sorts of things that would cause positive experiences.

I know that all this happens because my higher self wants me to make the experience of total deprivation. But how long do I have to stay in this condition? It really makes me crazy because my life is like in prison. I wake up at 6:00 am but have no energy to do anything. Doing nothing, I wait till 12:00 to have lunch and to have a midday sleep after it. At about 4:00 pm I wake up again and wait till the day is over. This pattern repeats day after day after day ...

The problem is that my higher self prevents me from doing any form of activity. My Energy and abilities are blocked. I cannot accomplish my Psychology study because I can't learn. Even writing this text exhausts me. I know that this form of deprivation has to do with the developmental goals of my soul, but I can't bear this my whole life. Do I have to?

[HITESH SHAH]

Originally Posted by Siemens

I‘m going through a Dark Night oft the Soul Experience since I’m 25. This was 12 years ago. My official diagnosis is depression, but it is more than that. I never had friends, relationships, a job, money, hobbies, sex, family… and any other sorts of things that would cause positive experiences.

I know that all this happens because my higher self wants me to make the experience of total deprivation. But how long do I have to stay in this condition? It really makes me crazy because my life is like in prison. I wake up at 6:00 am but have no energy to do anything. Doing nothing, I wait till 12:00 to have lunch and to have a midday sleep after it. At about 4:00 pm I wake up again and wait till the day is over. This pattern repeats day after day after day ...

The problem is that my higher self prevents me from doing any form of activity. My Energy and abilities are blocked. I cannot accomplish my Psychology study because I can't learn. Even writing this text exhausts me. I know that this form of deprivation has to do with the developmental goals of my soul, but I can't bear this my whole life. Do I have to?

It is not your Higher self that is depriving you of your legitimate life interests . It is your misunderstanding and superstition that spirituality means deprivation of legitimate life pleasures . Spirituality talks of regulating and controlling life pleasures and NOT of depriving one of life pleasures .

[Starman]

God, or the universe, can not give us what we do not allow ourselves to have. How we think, feel, or act, may be the source of our deprivation. I went through a lot of deprivation in my life early on in my journey. I also suffered from major depression, ptsd from war. I even felt suicidal when I was in college, and often asked myself when was the suffering going to end.

Emotional deprivation, financial deprivation, food insecurity, lack in many areas of my life. Things did not change for me until I learned from my deprivation. I had to learn what in me was holding me back from my own abundance. In my case it had more to do with my ego than anything else. I first had to learn how to appreciate the little, simple things, in life.

It took me doing a lot of work on myself, and realize that the wealth I needed was inside of me. When I got in touch with my own inner wealth and fulfillment, that was when wealth and fulfillment started to appear in my life externally. It is a journey of self discovery, not and instant fix. That which comes to us quickly often will leave quickly, but that which takes time builds a lasting foundation. If you genuinely learn how to love your self that will take you a long ways; most people do not want to be around someone who is depressed. Hang-in there.

[LiberatedLotus]

Your "diagnosis" and subsequent theory of deprivation is based upon what? Clinical studies? Scientific evidence? Historical facts? Societal standards? Cultural values? Institutional dogma? Propaganda? Peer Analysis? Opinions of others?

There's billions of people in this world that are "successful" with all areas you mentioned and are some of the most miserable, unsatisfied, and lost individuals there are. They spent their entire lives listening to other people tell them who they are, what life is about, and the entirety of existence. Rather than looking within themselves.

Listen to YOUR own body, heart, mind, and soul.
What nourishes YOU. What do YOU value. What is YOUR meaning of life. What is YOUR path. What is YOUR purpose. What is YOUR calling.

[Siemens]

Originally Posted by Starman

It took me doing a lot of work on myself, and realize that the wealth I needed was inside of me. When I got in touch with my own inner wealth and fulfillment, that was when wealth and fulfillment started to appear in my life externally.

Which kind of wealth and fulfillment did you find?

Originally Posted by Starman

How we think, feel, or act, may be the source of our deprivation. I went through a lot of deprivation in my life early on in my journey. I also suffered from major depression, ptsd from war. I even felt suicidal when I was in college.

Our life isn't under the control of our worldly thinking - at least not 100%. We, as souls, decide what life we have to live. In some cases your higher self (you on the soul level) wish to experience suffering in order to develop.

Originally Posted by Starman

I first had to learn how to appreciate the little, simple things, in life.

This might be one of the reasons why we have to experience deprivation. But can it take a whole life of deprivation?


-------------------------------------------------

Originally Posted by LiberatedLotus

Your "diagnosis" and subsequent theory of deprivation is based upon what? Clinical studies? Scientific evidence? Historical facts? Societal standards? Cultural values? Institutional dogma? Propaganda? Peer Analysis? Opinions of others? .

It is based on my own experience and rational considerations.

Originally Posted by LiberatedLotus

Listen to YOUR own body, heart, mind, and soul. What nourishes YOU. What do YOU value. What is YOUR meaning of life. What is YOUR path. What is YOUR purpose. What is YOUR calling.

My values correspond to the things I do not get, as mentioned in my first post:

“I never had friends, relationships, a job, money, cars, a house, hobbies, sex, family… and any other sorts of things that would cause positive experiences”

The problem is further that this planet doesn’t meet my demands. I can’t be together with the people I want to. My health condition doesn’t allow me to do things I would like to do. My current incarnation is like the waiting room of the lives I want to experience in the future.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Siemens

I know that all this happens because my higher self wants me to make the experience of total deprivation. But how long do I have to stay in this condition? It really makes me crazy because my life is like in prison. I wake up at 6:00 am but have no energy to do anything. Doing nothing, I wait till 12:00 to have lunch and to have a midday sleep after it. At about 4:00 pm I wake up again and wait till the day is over. This pattern repeats day after day after day ...

The problem is that my higher self prevents me from doing any form of activity. My Energy and abilities are blocked. I cannot accomplish my Psychology study because I can't learn. Even writing this text exhausts me. I know that this form of deprivation has to do with the developmental goals of my soul, but I can't bear this my whole life. Do I have to?

Is it possible that you have chronic fatigue, which may have various causes? Chronic fatigue is also known as ME or myalgic encephalomyelitis. Symptoms of the illness include deep tiredness, unrelieved by rest or sleep, feeling worse after physical or mental exertion, trouble concentrating, feeling worse after standing and remaining on one’s feet, etc.

Why do you believe that your Higher Self is keeping you in this state of deprivation and blocking you from all activity? This does not make any sense.

One thing which has just occurred to me. Do you have mercury amalgam fillings in your teeth? If so, they could be poisoning you and causing these symptoms. Mercury fillings can be replaced but it is important to choose a dentist that specialises in this area and uses a dental dam to stop the metal re-entering your mouth and body.

Peace

[Siemens]

Why do you believe that your Higher Self is keeping you in this state of deprivation and blocking you from all activity? This does not make any sense.

Originally Posted by iamthat

Do you have mercury amalgam fillings in your teeth? If so, they could be poisoning you and causing these symptoms.

I have only white fillings.

Originally Posted by iamthat

Is it possible that you have chronic fatigue…?Chronic fatigue is also known as ME or myalgic encephalomyelitis. Symptoms of the illness include deep tiredness, unrelieved by rest or sleep, feeling worse after physical or mental exertion, trouble concentrating, feeling worse after standing and remaining on one’s feet, etc.

Yes, I experience precisely all symptoms you listed.

Originally Posted by iamthat

Why do you believe that your Higher Self is keeping you in this state of deprivation and blocking you from all activity? This does not make any sense.

It does make sense. The reason why I believe that my Higher Self is keeping me in a state of deprivation is that I believe two things:
A) The higher self can control each experience I make (as a human).
B) When we experience deprivation, our soul undergoes a transformative process, i.e. we develop through the experience of deprivation.

Further I tried to escape this condition since many years (or decades), but without any success.

Originally Posted by iamthat

This does not make any sense.

This implies that you can’t imagine that deprivation can have a positive effect on our development. Why are you so sure that deprivation can’t have any positive developmental effects?