Confidence boost???

[lostsoul13]

My mother’s husband has been sent down and gotten Covid-19— no visits until negative…

I met him the other day and I got a confidence boost- not because he was looking totally different to how I remember him..

He was tall long black hair native looking, part Arab - dark and brooding: standing in my house in my kingdom before we reincarnated here- with my mother(of intent and purpose)

They had entered in the house- some unknown entanglement, my sisters father would also enter in—-

But my mother’s husband fathered a sister and brother…

They been together thirty years:

But I saw him as a threat and I lost my confidence when I saw him walking around freely ; while my account was restricted, I could hardly get into a avarta I was floating around in my soul spirit…

I felt like he had everything I didn’t and more so he was courting my mother of intent and purpose …

Everything about him said alpha and he was a gangster and type of male that would see you into reincarnation…

He was half the man in his hair was short, teeth missing and in a mobility scooter..

He suffered with nerve damage to his knees..

I gained my confidence back not because he was looking different because I saw that I was a alpha too: that we all connect differently to our human avartas and getting into a human avarta not knowing what I looked like unlike now; I understand what I look like or at least buzzing around—-

I saw a fragile man and knew it was okay to be sensitive and feminine with my love of long hair yet still exhibiting brooding and darkness…

I wanted to have my cake and eat it in my kingdom- have a house, grow the children up- but as I stood in front of him in the sandwich theory- with my children I knew I was projecting: at least half of it was him but half of it was my goal…

I understood now that reincarnation does that too you; makes you into a gangster, brooding and dark —- the pain you go through and having different body’s or even the same body…

I was inferior and he had a better start than me in life but hadn’t used it at all too wisely, heavy drugs and alcohol; opting to partying and loving care free got him where he is to day- and further with prison, I’m much like him but haven’t done heavy recreational…

Been prison. Dark long hair, brooding and at my soul handsome and charming..

He was handsome and charming but just had charisma left these days..

I didn’t know him as my mother’s husband or my mother as my mother when they broke in to my house in what seems like the astral plane or definitely not the real world unlike this world we all reincarnated over too..

All I want is to provide for my children and twin flame and soulmates: I know it’s in the future but that future might not make it here yet but it’s still possible in this world I’ll be rich and wealthy : healthy and able too keep my clan together…

I knew they were soulmates as soon as I saw them together in the bedroom with a handgun in..

I knew I was half that projection for making a gun from the fabric of my mind: lucky no one used it it was above the wardrobe..

But he didn’t need one I could all ready sense he was a danger to my life..

My twin flame use to tell me all the time I was a danger to her life:

Where the paranoia comes in, like a switch, life is a danger to my life and only is cemented further in reincarnation..

I knew he would sort him self out for the sake of his marriage…

I was only young then but nothing affected my life like those moments with him and they shaped my life; even being with my mother for thirty years has shaped me…

Who would of thought my confidence would return after 23 years or more..

It’s kind unfunctional or unconventional but I can see my self in him - and I really don’t want to see that - but seeing my self in reincarnation is even harder… I still got a lot of work too do.. but I’m taking the pain slowly. No one wants to be inferior…

[Native spirit]

There is a saying it goes like this

Watch who's hands you step on on the way up.
Because those same hands could catch you as you fall back down.
meaning what goes around comes around.


Namaste