I'd like to share how I recently got out of that funk. I can't move away for reasons, other than relationship.
I've been in a similar situation for years on end.
My entire adult life I've lived in places where I didn't feel I belonged (I'm 56). Mostly more religious environments, which absolutely doesn't resonate with me at all, and people with different mentality and way of being and socialising than what I'm used to.
People in my province of birth are warm, open, welcoming, friendly and for some reason I keep ending up in provinces / areas / towns where people are distant, keep to themselves, aren't very open and welcoming etc. To me they feel cold and aloof.
I've often wondered why the hell I keep ending up in such places, trying my best to be happy, to make friends, but failing every time. I've lived in my current area for 19 yrs now -in 2 different villages- and I know a ton of people, but I haven't got one single friend. No social life. It just doesn't work, no resonance whatsoever.
The only friends I've had during this long time were people that happened to be from my province of birth, and because they experienced the same problems as me they moved back to our shared province of birth.
The same happened in my young adult years in another area I was living then, people moving away because they couldn't settle and feel at home there.
Yet, somehow something inside of me recently changed after I'd decided to have my old wooden garage done up a few months back. I have a council house that happens to come with a driveway and said garage. It direly needed repair lest it wouldn't collapse at some point during a storm.
But in spite of its state, during the 10 yrs I've lived here I kept thinking, "By the time it really needs to be done up I'm long gone from here!" The longing to pack up and leave this place & area behind always in the foreground.
But then I had to have it fixed to save it as it had gotten too bad.
And oddly enough that has made me feel way more at home here than I've ever felt?!
The renovation took a lot of money and time, it's done now. And with that it feels as if I've now finally finally landed here! Finally this is now my home.
I even had the handyman come back to put up mesh fencing along my driveway and when it was done I ordered strings of solar lights to put through it. It makes me so happy to see this beautiful garage, MY garage, and MY driveway with those cute strings of lights!
That finished touch, the fencing with lights, added to my feeling "This is MINE! MY home!!!"
And you know what changed? The only thing that changed... I ACCEPTED that I was, am, and will be living here!
I got out of resistance of not liking it here, not liking the people, not even liking being close to the beach and ocean (I prefer woods), wanting to leave as soon as possible, and being P-O with fate for putting me in this situation.
That mindset had kept me out of 'landing' and anchoring, and making this my home, and feeling at home.
It still isn't the area that really suits me, but in spite of that I now do feel "This is my home" even if that only pertains to my house & premises.
All that, a huge 360 degree shift, because of making an investment (time, money, energy) in a garage & driveway...
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