Divorce

[RedEmbers]

I am so sorry. It is not much but I hope that you receive what you need from the universe. Hopefully some doors will start to open for you soon, perhaps even in unexpected ways in service of what you need.

Keep in mind any community organisations which may be able to assist you as well. My motto is to utilise any good support networks which I can. The more support I can rally, the better and if people want to support me in positive ways, I let them.

I can relate to your sentiment of self forgiveness. Not that it probably helps you much other then me saying I hear you.

I hope that the path becomes smoother and clearer soon.

[Honza]

I understand that you need your own income to be independent. However if could find somewhere to go just to be separate from your husband you would be better off. The marriage certificate is irrelevant. The two of you could live separate lives and still be married. If you could find somewhere to live without him you would be halfway to freedom.

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by BigJohn

You might want to revisit spousal alimony.


I once knew a man who married a woman who was a Medical Doctor. She made a lot of money..... he didn't have a job.

They got divorced.
He got spousal alimony.
His spousal alimony he got each month was ........ huge.

                                                   Just a thought.

Thank you. I really don't know what to do.

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

I am so sorry. It is not much but I hope that you receive what you need from the universe. Hopefully some doors will start to open for you soon, perhaps even in unexpected ways in service of what you need.

Keep in mind any community organisations which may be able to assist you as well. My motto is to utilise any good support networks which I can. The more support I can rally, the better and if people want to support me in positive ways, I let them.

I can relate to your sentiment of self forgiveness. Not that it probably helps you much other then me saying I hear you.

I hope that the path becomes smoother and clearer soon.

Thank you. I have started to reach out to all my friends for support.... I have a new therapist lined up, who should be better and more helpful than the last through this process, and I can talk to my family as well. So I do have a support network, thankfully.

I don't know what else I can do other than keep looking for a job and trying to land one.

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by Honza

I understand that you need your own income to be independent. However if could find somewhere to go just to be separate from your husband you would be better off. The marriage certificate is irrelevant. The two of you could live separate lives and still be married. If you could find somewhere to live without him you would be halfway to freedom.

Thank you, though I literally have no place to go. No friend of mine can take me in, no friend has an extra room, and my family cannot take me in. I cannot afford to live anywhere on my own on unemployment benefits. I am truly stuck in this situation.

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by asearcher

I don't mean to be rude but what kind of family and friends are that? when people I know has been through rough break ups I've always told them to come any time, if it is so in the middle of the night and even if there has been no room I or we have made room. It's not like you're gonna stay with them forever. THis situation can be very hard on you both and even dangerous. Have you asked them? Maybe they'll be happy to take you in? Maybe it is just you who am afraid to be in the way? Sorry about the job, by the way. Hope soon there will be a new offer, and you'll get it.

Have you checked your rights, legally? if you have more right to stay in your home than he has?

It's COVID and everyone is working from home now. No one has a spare bedroom for me to sleep in, let alone additional space for me to hang out in. My friends and family are not rude. They do not have the ability to take in someone and it would be for more than just a few months.

I have equal rights to my apartment. My husband and I are both on the lease. And thanks regarding new job opportunities! I applied to 3 jobs just today.

On the plus side, things have been stable between my husband and I. I am just trying to keep the peace until I can get a job and then leave him.

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by asearcher

I've been surprised to see how some gets very materalistic during the break up, which to me falls for deaf ears, overall I'm not materalistic, never was, but had to listen to people argue over the absolute smallest things with no value materiastic wise or emotional wise - just because they seem to enjoy fighting. It is so not about the materalistic thing in question.

Hoping you will get one of those jobs

Thanks so much.

My husband and I do not have many shared assets, luckily, but we do have some financial entanglements to figure out legally. We rent, we do not own a home. We have separate bank accounts and keep most finances separate. I did co-sign a car lease for him, and that's a sticking point for me legally. I want to get out of that car lease once we divorce so that I have no financial ties with him after.

I either own or bought myself ALL the furniture in our apartment. That's where he may become materialistic and try to fight me on. I am anticipating he may.....

I feel I do need a lawyer, once I get a job and regardless. I think it's for my own best interests to hire one. My husband may get angry and he may try to retaliate. He's volatile and unpredictable. He can also be unreasonable and vengeful. I don't trust him one bit to be fair.

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by asearcher

God, I admire how you can keep your head over water walking around in this. Anyone, especially a guy I'm in a relationship with, could, can read me like an open book.

Aw, thanks so much!!!!



I have to do things this way -- it's for my own self preservation and self protection. I am trying to be very smart and deliberate.

[gemma]

Originally Posted by LoveWater

Thanks so much.

My husband and I do not have many shared assets, luckily, but we do have some financial entanglements to figure out legally. We rent, we do not own a home. We have separate bank accounts and keep most finances separate. I did co-sign a car lease for him, and that's a sticking point for me legally. I want to get out of that car lease once we divorce so that I have no financial ties with him after.

I either own or bought myself ALL the furniture in our apartment. That's where he may become materialistic and try to fight me on. I am anticipating he may.....

I feel I do need a lawyer, once I get a job and regardless. I think it's for my own best interests to hire one. My husband may get angry and he may try to retaliate. He's volatile and unpredictable. He can also be unreasonable and vengeful. I don't trust him one bit to be fair.

Just my 2 cents...with so little material entanglement, no children, no property except furniture..I would contact a legal aid group, thru a school or church to start the paperwork on this separation especially if there is abuse. Furniture can and will be replaced, its not worth physical and / or mental abuse. Not that its my business, but please don't get pregnant...I know you know this, but mistakes happen...

Holding good thoughts on your job situation, love and light. Always light...

[LoveWater]

Originally Posted by gemma

Just my 2 cents...with so little material entanglement, no children, no property except furniture..I would contact a legal aid group, thru a school or church to start the paperwork on this separation especially if there is abuse. Furniture can and will be replaced, its not worth physical and / or mental abuse. Not that its my business, but please don't get pregnant...I know you know this, but mistakes happen...

Holding good thoughts on your job situation, love and light. Always light...

Thank you.

I got the ball rolling already..... I am getting an abuse advocate from a local domestic abuse center, and I contacted two law agencies regarding legal services for low income people and for abused women.

I am 50 years old. Little chance of my getting pregnant. LOL.