Quote:
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Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness
He does this out of frustration, annoyance and a sprinkling of anger because of me. (I posted this before I saw your thread lomax)
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Sometimes the truth hurts.
But ultimately people need to take responsibility for their emotional reactions.
I wrote this today it might serve this space.
Number one.
Emotional baggage becomes our best friend. A host in our lives. Something we identify ourselves through. Every moment of our lives brings up and out everything we carry, everything we ignore, everything we might not ever fully resolve. The more we receive a payoff from unresolved emotions, the more we hold it tight, keep it under wraps and use other means to suppress it, project it at life and others.
Yes we are human, having this life experience, where everything we are, installed as, reflected through creates the model we come to know ourselves as being. We identify ourselves as the one, who is impatient, the one who loses their cool, the one that has to fight against any injustice we feel is unfair. We are short and sharp with our children, to manage what we truly feel, we rush them, need from them, project into them those deeper wounds we carry as our baggage, namely from one of the most difficult emotions to overcome.
I call Anger, the ‘number one’ culprit. Anger is a festering, altered, twisted and over layered emotion, that triggers you in a multitude of ways. It’s the one emotion we struggle to fully feel. To fully release, because we can hold onto it in so many ways of our life and existence. It pushes us hard, it controls, manipulates itself, it denies itself and in this suppression it channels itself into addictions. It becomes so easy to let it slowly infiltrate our world, in unhealthy, unfair ways upon others and ourselves, through those addictions and projections that overlay its hold.
Anger is the number one cause we ‘fight’ with others, fight ourselves. That fight is the force within your being that drives home, what it wants, what it needs, what it will have and get. It’s a fight that can harm, damage and kill. It takes away life. It drains, it leaks it’s own life force.
It’s the number one killer of love, compassion and kindness. It’s a festering seed that overrides itself, what it truly feels deeper. It’s the biggest container of grief.
As a mask over grief it suppresses sadness, deep sadness, sadness you thought you or another could ever have. A sadness you’ve determined doesn’t deserve your love and care. It’s a sadness that determines anger is the best camouflage, the best sabotage against being this vulnerable and letting go this deep.
Everyone of us has a story, a life experience, that story is part of your history, over time the story changes. While we keep the old story alive with strong unresolved emotion, we contain ourselves as the past. We carry the baggage and keep those memories of ill fated unresolved damage and weave it into everything we create as our life here and now. Whether it’s big or small, whether it creeps out slowly or fast, suppresses itself or activates itself, it’s showing you it’s alive in you.
It’s a payoff and it’s accumulative, so as you may believe on the surface of your mask, your kind and considerate, giving and open to others, this mask is serving that life even so. It’s serving something, whether it’s you or something in your world. It will arise. It will weave into everything that you determine is safe to release it as and to whom. If your using addiction it will hide beneath that barrier, comforted for a time, waiting for its time.
That time requires you to recognise your own. We can not control others and their choices in anger, but we can build a presence of love peace deeply grounded in our being, where we no longer grieve for what didn’t happen, no longer blame others and life for what we didn’t receive, no longer contain ourselves.
As a mind body connection, your energy, your life force is richly abundant when you undo the damage, when you unplug what you’ve decided required you to contain.
How you feel is important.
How you deal is your personal responsibility.
To you as number one.
It begins and ends with you.
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