What would you call this gift/talent?

[Hilary]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

I think if we do what we feel is right then what will be will be. I don't think it's necessary to use the word failure or failing a test, an unnecessary burden in fact. If we did our best but the partner walked away anyway, then so be it.

Exactly. But by failing a test, it means that maybe I reacted emotionally, tried to manipulate, and/or I lost my self-respect. And even then, the father is unconditionally loving. But he will nudge/guide me in the right direction until I get it right. So in that way, I never really fail. When that happens, the Father says ... "you're late!"

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by Hilary

Exactly. But by failing a test, it means that maybe I reacted emotionally, tried to manipulate, and/or I lost my self-respect. And even then, the father is unconditionally loving. But he will nudge/guide me in the right direction until I get it right. So in that way, I never really fail. When that happens, the Father says ... "you're late!"

I think a guide is there to provide information or help show the way. Not to test or criticise. "you're later" isn't even constructive criticism. Any guide showing moodiness or scorn is a red flag imo. As I said before, life can be hard enough without any misdirection from guides.

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by Hilary

(See that's the difference between self-respect and manipulation. Manipulation leads to feeling like a failure. It comes from without; it's externally based. Self respect leads to feeling like a winner either way. It comes from within.)

If we are doing the manipulating it'd be coming from within, no?

[Hilary]

Originally Posted by JosephineBloggs

If we are doing the manipulating it'd be coming from within, no?

No, it's not like that. Manipulation is done to get you something external. To meet a need externally. Like love and attention. You want to meet those needs, so you either do it directly (a good route), or indirectly (manipulation). People use manipulation when they can't get their needs met directly, or if they think it's inappropriate to do so.

Self-respect comes from within. You can feel it in your chest. It doesn't matter if your needs get met (although you may want that, too). Because you're fueling your own love, you're meeting your own needs by holding yourself to a high standard.

Example:

You're running a race. You know that a lot of people cheat and cut corners to get faster times. You could do this too. This would be like manipulation. You like the feeling of winning, and you'll do anything to prevent the feeling of losing. However, it's only a matter of time before you eventually get caught.

Or, you choose to not cheat on the race. You know this means your chances of winning are even harder, but not impossible. It really doesn't matter if you win or lose, though, because you're proud of yourself. You win either way.

External vs. internal rewards

Originally Posted by Hilary

You're running a race. You know that a lot of people cheat and cut corners to get faster times. You could do this too. This would be like manipulation. You like the feeling of winning, and you'll do anything to prevent the feeling of losing. However, it's only a matter of time before you eventually get caught.

Or, you choose to not cheat on the race. You know this means your chances of winning are even harder, but not impossible. It really doesn't matter if you win or lose, though, because you're proud of yourself. You win either way.

So true.

Hey there's something I wanted to ask you ! I realised that I don't have sight when I get in trance ! I hear and feel everything, but no sight. Is that uncommon ? Also, dunno if that's related but as a kid sometimes I used to walk around my bedroom eyes closed, to "get used to it, if ever I need it".

Thanks in advance

[Hilary]

Originally Posted by Tim here

So true.

Hey there's something I wanted to ask you ! I realised that I don't have sight when I get in trance ! I hear and feel everything, but no sight. Is that uncommon ? Also, dunno if that's related but as a kid sometimes I used to walk around my bedroom eyes closed, to "get used to it, if ever I need it".

Thanks in advance

LOL, sometimes I like to shower with the lights off. Almost every time I drop the shampoo. ;)

Yes, that's not uncommon. Some people "see" more, some people "hear" more. I "hear," like you it seems. That doesn't mean you won't get visuals. You may. One thing you can do to increase visual sensitivity is active imagination. So basically, get sleepy, get in trance, and imagine (like in guided meditations). However, the goal is to notice when there are subtle inputs from "source" or your subconscious. It's very hard to notice, and a skill you can develop. Try to think about what it could mean. I know not everyone would agree, but I am convinced there's always a meaning.

Originally Posted by Hilary

LOL, sometimes I like to shower with the lights off. Almost every time I drop the shampoo. ;)

Oh with time I got good enough to go downstairs and wander around the house

So I tried active imagination and it's far too draining for now. I was all over the place and really apart from sleep paralysis I don't have achieved anything. So I'll get to that later I think, start by practicing the way I know !

[Hilary]

Originally Posted by Tim here

Oh with time I got good enough to go downstairs and wander around the house

So I tried active imagination and it's far too draining for now. I was all over the place and really apart from sleep paralysis I don't have achieved anything. So I'll get to that later I think, start by practicing the way I know !

Hard for me, too. Auditory is easier for me.

It's such a delicate balance. You have to be sleepy enough to have the material coming in (auditory or visual), but not so sleepy that you miss it and/or don't remember.

Yeah, but I'm thrilled by all I've discovered thanks to you ! Hearing and touch are a good start, by practicing the rest will come. Or not, works either way !