Feeling tainted by long-term exposure to 'friends'

[Rael1974]

I'm 61 now and in the space of the past 8 years I have consciously cut two very important people out of my life, something I never imagined I'd do, having finally brought into the light their subtly vile animosity towards me across 50 years or so. One of them, my sister, has succumbed to a dark, delusional and insane jealousy towards me and towards my relationship with our Mum. The other, my erstwhile best friend since the age of 6, I discovered to be a revolting sort of black hole of a person, a dark and ineffably mean character who as a chess player treats every contact with others (even close friends) as a petty game of ego v ego in which he never lets his guard drop. All behind a mild-mannered affable exterior yet constant and unchanging. Both these horrors are the sign of Aries. I'm aware of course that this sounds sort of odd, yet I sense they are ENEMIES of mine in a primal, spiritual sense. I have done well to rid myself of them both but it took decades before my mind's eye resolved them in their true light. It's painful and confusing now thinking of the legacy and damage caused. I have always been intensely sensitive to other people (in every sense) and now I feel 'stripped' and 'depleted' by them. Can I restore myself with work on my aura and/or chakras? I need to repair myself and restore my protections. Could anyone out there with knowledge of this delicate subject please advise me where to go with this?

[Miss Hepburn]

Congratulations!!!

You may have had them in your life to finally learn to stand up for yourself and be strong. Who knows.
Your priorities seem to be clear now...happiness, peace and positivity first!!
Realizing this, standing tall and confident that you have overcome these 2 will repair many things !
Smile. :)

It helps to know these 2 MAY be your BEST soul buddies that came here to help you become stronger and clearer...just playing a role.
From my personal experience, anyway. Thank them within yourself for being mean. IMO.

[Starman]

Hi Rael1974, Welcome to Spiritual Forums. I am in my late seventies and have gone through similar circumstances with friends and family. Some of them cut me out of their life while others I let go of whom I felt were too toxic. The amazing thing is that I hung around with some of these toxic people for 30-years or more and endured their abuse.

People come and go in our life for whatever reasons; we are all on a journey, including those who I may have rejected. In time I grew to have compassion for them as well. But when we are close to someone, especially family members, there is an emotional withdrawal which we may go through.

That emotional withdrawal is similar to a drug withdrawal, even though the drug may have been bad for us, we may still go through withdrawal from it. I feel it is necessary to process what we go through and not look for an instant fix. I have been doing meditation for almost 50-years learning how to quiet my mind.

Quieting my mind regularly has helped me restore and regain my balance and emotional comfort from upsetting situations. What you are going through right now is an opportunity to consciously grow. Meditation automatically worked on my charkas. But I coupled my meditation with spiritual development.

A holistic approach in my opinion is better than just looking at one thing like our charkas. Chakras will automatically fall into place if we take care of our mind, body, and spirit. Understand that you can not change other people, you can only change your self.

Don’t look for reasons; you may ruminate about this for years to come but it is important not to let it dominate you. Look for inner peace, and that will only come when you learn how to let go. Letting go is a process, healing is a journey. Cry, grieve, and give healing time to work. These people were part of your life for decades, don’t expect to instantly get rid them.

[Rael1974]

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful advice. I now realize that I did not fully explain myself. My hurt and regret at their imposture occurred months and years ago. However, I suspect that exposure to these individuals caused 'soul damage' that cannot be healed by time, meditation, mindfulness, or other legitimate techniques. In my worldview, a kind of 'soul loss' has been perpetrated upon me—a result of all forms of contact with these 'spiritual vampires'. These people I've encountered on life's pathways were not merely flawed human beings or weaklings; they were 'evil avatars' doing Satan's work among humans. Beings intent on evil with no love in their hearts but self-love. Perhaps 'psychopath' would be another word for them, but I believe they are not just feeling-less; they are possessed by something old, snub-nosed, and evil. I know how that sounds, and I'm writing it almost with a wry smile myself, but the hard-won evidence from key times of revelation around these people has led me to this ineluctable conclusion. It might sound like I need an exorcist, but the 'taint' I feel from these individuals is like a 'spiritual flu' that I cannot escape through normal means. It's heavy stuff but comes from the heart. What are your thoughts?