Moving On from Unavailable Emotionally Men

[kays.]

Is there any prayer or rituals to be able to move on from men that are emotionally unavalable ? I have this pattern and I want to break it. I'm also seeing a therapist about that.

[iamthat]

I don't know of any such prayers or rituals, but I suspect that getting to the root cause of your pattern will allow you to move on to form relationships with men who are more emotionally available.

The obvious question is, was your father emotionally available to you when growing up? Whatever issues we faced as children tend to be repeated in our adult relationships until we can resolve them.

So a daughter with an emotionally unavailable father may feel a deep need for emotional connection with a man because this was always denied her when younger. And this need can result in attraction to men like her father who are emotionally unavailable, thus repeating the pattern.

Of course, this may not apply to you, but if it does then the answer lies in identifying and breaking the pattern.

Peace

[Gemini46]

Originally Posted by kays.

Is there any prayer or rituals to be able to move on from men that are emotionally unavalable ? I have this pattern and I want to break it. I'm also seeing a therapist about that.

Prayers & positive thinking are important, yes, but they can only do so much. It relys on your ability to make a conscious effort to correct this pattern. I agree with IAmThat, there is a root cause to the types of relationships you have been attracting. Its great you are aware of this about yourself & are actively taking steps to break this cycle and that is everything. Really look at the relationship you have with your parents & how they raised you. Your relationship with your father is especially important because this is ultimately where your solution lies. Even if you've never had a father figure, that is the area of your life impacted by male role models & the absence of one is obviously going to have a huge affect on someone for the rest of their life. A woman is going to subconsciouslly attract men that mirror something that reminds her of her dad. My Dad was very emotionally abusive towards me & my mom and I could never, and still can't, relate to one another and she pretty much neglected me emotionally from day one. I figured out early on that I was pretty much on my own when it came to my emotional well-being. I took to my Dad more, surprisingly and went to live with him at 14. Dont get me wrong, I am not bitter- the exact opposite, without the upbringing, as scarring as it may have been, I would never be who I am today. I've no doubt experienced a great amount of pain but the level of emotional strength and intelligence I have developed as a result is unreal. It is byfar my most valuable personality trait.

All I can really say is know your self worth. I feel like the only meaningful relationships I have had with men manifested themselves when I was in no way shape or form thinking about a relationship. I was always focused on my life and finding love within myself. Somewhat of an inner marriage. I've put myself in emotionally vulnerable situations recently as that is something I have never really done before, it scared me but in doing so is when I really found out my strength.

I am sure you will get to the source but I would highly recommend giving dating a break for now, so just don't let that be a focus of yours. I cannot stress enough how helpful being alone for sometime is before getting into another relationship. Know what you are looking for & pour yourself into some sort of work or activity that you are passionate about and build yourself. I think therapy is a good idea and will help get to the root while your out doing your thing.

If I may also add that letting go of any habits and thinking patterns that place attactments and expectations on people/situations that only create more problems.

Imago theory-- each relationship works to heal the issues of the previous relationship.

Imago theory-- each relationship works to heal the issues of the previous relationship.

[LibbyScorp]

Loving yourself. Filling your own cup so you know your boundaries and when it's time to call it quits on people who can't meet you emotionally sooner rather than later. Before you know it, years can pass you by in the same loops with the same people who will never get you in that aspect. Someone could be madly in love with you but still not meet you half way on the path. Bless them and set me free. But most importantly, set yourself free of the cycles. It takes a great deal of work.


Meditations for self love, cord cutting. There's so many.