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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Most Anything > Poetry

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  #21  
Old 23-08-2021, 10:15 AM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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JustBe poem in Quietus form re-written!

Our perfection

Our perfection takes diligence
With practice and focus
Aligned with voice of our conscience
Along the love locus

We come into our own
We are never alone
Perfection has no clone

In unison
Our perfection
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  #22  
Old 23-08-2021, 12:16 PM
JustBe JustBe is offline
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Very nice and gracious thanks.

Here I go forward into the land of perfection once more!!


I am floating in an unceasingly
Untroubled land of dreams
Fuelled by an unwavering joy
A Limitless gleam

Uncontained by the team
Arises flowing streams
Arranged and ordered schemes

Delightfully
I am floating

So...it’s eight, six, eight, six (rhyme with the other six)
Six, six rhyme, six rhyme
Four
Four (start of prose)
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  #23  
Old 23-08-2021, 01:45 PM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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@ JustBe … in the first stanza, first line last word must rhyme with last word of 3rd line. Likewise last word of second line must rhyme with last word of 4th line. Hence end rhyme pattern abab

The tercet can be different end word - ccc

The last line you’ve got correct as the first line refrain (also poem title) but the preceding line of the couplet (last word) must rhyme with last word of the refrain, while having same syllable count as the refrain.

In addition to all this the syllable count must be maintained.
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  #24  
Old 23-08-2021, 01:46 PM
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Feral instinct


Feral instinct, fear and control
Seeking domination
One-upmanship, the only goal
From God, separation

Stuporous mind in fog
Tail now wagging the dog
Think! Pause! Reboot, re-log

From soul de-linked
Feral instinct
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  #25  
Old 23-08-2021, 02:25 PM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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JustBe now see above

First stanza is a quatrain of 4-lines
The end rhymes alternate abab (free, envy and desire, aspire)
The syllable counts are 8-6-8-6
The refrain, as also poem title from 1st line is Fear transcendence

Next, a tercet (3-lines) of 6 syllables each with same end rhyme (buoyed, toyed, decoyed)

Last the couplet .. 2 lines, equal syllable count (in this case 4) with rhyme (parlance, transcendence)
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  #26  
Old 24-08-2021, 01:41 AM
Nowayout Nowayout is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker
@ Nowayout … beautiful! Not quite the format but who cares? Thanks for sharing!

Quietus form
First stanza is a quatrain 8-6-8-6 syllable in end rhyme abab +
Followed by 6-6-6 syllable tercet end rhyme ccc +
Concluded by an equal syllable couplet using refrain from first line, as last line of the poem
Refrain is also the poem title

Seemed ok to me, Jesus is not about details anyway, rather all heart....
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  #27  
Old 24-08-2021, 02:59 AM
JustBe JustBe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowayout
Seemed ok to me, Jesus is not about details anyway, rather all heart....


Sticking to the format with all heart
Amazing how your brain
Will twist it’s own domain and spark
Yet it’s all good retrain

An upside down
Round and around
Prose in woven gown

Gets me through
Sticking to...


(If that makes sense and is in the perfecto stream I’m onto a winner me thinks!)
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  #28  
Old 24-08-2021, 05:17 AM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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JustBe … do a syllable check!
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  #29  
Old 24-08-2021, 05:18 AM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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Catch and release


Catch and release, each emotion
As witness eternal
Feel rapture, of bliss elation
God bestowed miracle

Here and now thus present
Meld with the joy current
Our innate element

Flow on with ease
Catch and release
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  #30  
Old 24-08-2021, 05:21 AM
Unseeking Seeker Unseeking Seeker is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowayout
Seemed ok to me, Jesus is not about details anyway, rather all heart....

True, my dear, true!

As a matter of fact, I don’t bother about the rhyme … near rhymes do but on another site I’m on, poets check exact rhymes on rhymezone.com. Syllables are tricky, different sites offer different results sometimes. Poetrysoup syllable counter is fairly good, though not infallible.
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