Can't settle

[Hemera]

I feel like I can't settle to any belief system in particular, or even one way of living my life.

I think it's because I see truth in all approaches, all systems, but a lot of flaws as well.

I feel so worn out and exhausted. I know I'm going wrong somewhere by this endless pursuit of wanting/needing to find an approach that I completely resonate with. There are so many....but nothing feels just right.

Something tells me to go back to myself. I've always been on an inner path so maybe I'm like the circle trying to fit into the world (square). I don't belong here or at least never felt that way. I'm highly likely on the autism spectrum which may play a part but mainly it's a strong sense that my view of the world doesn't ever fit in with how others view it.

I know my thoughts, beliefs and emotions aren't me. I know they are passing energy forms and I don't need to attach to any of them. I feel like I'm trying to cling to something and there's nothing.

Can anyone relate to this ramble?

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi, I really think most here can! ---relate.

Well, trying something 'in this world' to cling to...good luck with that!
Hard to resonate?
Pick something from here and there, I say...like a buffet.
Use things rather than trying to cling to them..a diff perspective.
You use a hammer, you don't cling to it...it's a tool you us for 'certain things'.

Life doesn't have to be that hard; do what feels good. :)
Make feeling 'good' a priority.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Hemera

I feel like I can't settle to any belief system in particular, or even one way of living my life. ... I know I'm going wrong somewhere by this endless pursuit of wanting/needing to find an approach that I completely resonate with. There are so many....but nothing feels just right.

As Miss H says, pick things from here and there to create a path which suits you.

Belief systems have their place at a certain stage of the journey. They provide a philosophical framework and guidelines for how to live, and for many people this is what they need. But at some point we go beyond any particular belief system. We have outgrown them. They no longer serve us.

So choose those parts of whatever spiritual philosophy resonates with you. Choose whichever practices you feel drawn to. Read about any teachers who attract your interest. We can create our own path to support our inner journey.

And maybe we will even outgrow our own inner path. I don't often quote Krishnamurti but as he says, "Truth is a pathless land." We begin by following some path or other and then we become the path and then there is no path. We are simply aware in each moment, doing whatever we are doing.

Peace

If I may please give my advice it would be to first of all check to see if you are really on the autism spectrum. If so it can help you further ahead to decode how neurodivergent people may work that today seem wrong to you.

My husband is on the autism spectrum, finding that out when he was an adult. As well as it was important for him to de code me (being neurodivergent) I too needed to de code him. We are closer now because of it and I can tell as he now de codes others he is more relaxed now. I think this will help you a lot with what you describe that you don't feel you belong, that your world view don't fit how you see others view it and so on.

he is so much happier today than he was before. I would recommend finding that out and taking this step by step, you'll be fine.

There's tests for free you can take online.

about spiritual philosophy I agree it can be tough. I named myself asearcher because I grew up without religion and have not been sure where I belong, if my own personal experiences fit in somewhere. Recently I have began researching on buddhism and so far it suits me fine. I think one has to try different ways to see what resonates with you.

Best of luck :)

[Native spirit]

Go with what feels right for you. don't take any notice of what others say.
If it feels right then it is right.
Follow your Intuition. and Walk your own path.


Namaste

[Hemera]

Wow, thank you all. I wasn't sure I'd get many replies never much such helpful ones!

Miss Hepburn - what you say reminds me of the need to keep life simple. I keep forgetting that. I overcomplicate matters and end up exhausted and sick. I also doubt myself a lot and pile on the pressure. I end up feeling that I've gone wrong somewhere.

Iamthat - your post all makes total sense. I can feel the truth in what you say - yes, the pathless path. I do feel that I'm outgrowing my belief systems and approaches and that's why they feel so restricting. I want the freedom of my inner path but it also feels quite lonely. There are teachers I resonate with, Matt Kahn and Ram Dass in particular, so maybe I will focus on those for now to keep me on track. I also like a lot of Buddhist teachings, although not all.

Asearcher - that is very good advice and in fact I am doing just that; a friend has just been diagnosed and I'm preparing to see my doctor to ask for a referral. There's a strong family history of autism and I used to stim as a child. I've always been very introverted and struggled with social interactions. It would help massively to understand more about why I've never felt I belong.

Native spirit - yes I agree, it's about trusting my intuition isn't it. Thank you.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Hemera

...I want the freedom of my inner path but it also feels quite lonely. ...

I can understand this. One of the joys of the spiritual path is spiritual companionship. Being part of a spiritual group or even just doing a retreat with others builds a strong sense of connection at a deep level.

Treading our own path can be lonely. Yes, we can spend time with others who follow different paths and we have enough in common to enjoy their company, but we are also aware of the differences between our ideas and practices and theirs.

One way to think of it is that we are all spiritual pilgrims on our own journeys. At any stage of the journey others may join us and walk beside us for a while, and then we go our separate ways. And after a while new companions may appear for the next stage of our journey.

Perhaps a lifelong spiritual companion is a rare thing. My own journey has been filled with various people who have walked closely beside me for a while and then disappeared from my life. But I am sure that it has all been exactly as it was meant to be.

Peace

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Go with what feels right for you; don't take any notice of what others say.
If it feels right then it is right.
Follow your Intuition. and Walk your own path.

See, how simple? Ya know what I would suggest if you were my friend ---I would
say read 2-3 pages here on the Forum of Abraham-Hicks quotes...they really have a way of
sinking in and uplifting us.
All such good advice so far!

Religious systems are all deeply flawed but there is truth in most of them. God is real, you don't really need a system of belief, you just need to figure out what is real and what is not.

So keeping in mind that God is factually real you can see that all the religions are teaching the the same thing in different ways. The problem with them is they branch off and teach their own doctrines. Once something only belongs to a single religion you can be certain that teaching is incorrect.

[Hemera]

Iamthat - the feeling of loneliness is compounded by the fact I didn't have a strong sense of belonging growing up as my family was very disjointed, so I've had this inbuilt need for community from a young age. Conversely, I've also had a strong inner connection. It's hard to reconcile the two. I like your perspective on the pilgrims and how it's all meant to be. I'm fortunate to have a spiritual friend (she used to post here actually) and we'll probably always be in each other's lives in some form.

MissHepburn - thank you for the suggestion, I will do that.

PureEvil - yes so very true. That's what I have found. Very flawed but with a kernel of truth. That's so helpful to think of God/spirit being real but religions are approaching this in different ways and start to teach their own stuff as being unique to themselves. That's what I dislike as truth is universal and free to all.