It's all starting to make sense and I don't know how to feel

[eyesopen2020]

Originally Posted by asearcher

Did you hurt him because of what went on in your marriage? That you wanted to be with him but couldn't? I don't quite follow... if you have not hurt him enough you can heal him by just being kind and loving and too explaining your situation back then and how you feel now? You have romantic feelings for him, no? And now he's life is in a jam and you are finally happy getting out of your marriage? I am just trying to understand your situation and your relation with him, as to me it is somewhat fuzzy. You should not feel guilt because you are happy and he is unhappy. It is not as if when you are unhappy he will then automatically become happy.

It seem for one reason or another that people with some kind of gift out of the ordinary has family members prior to them to have been like that too, I can't say if it is that they will try to make the road smoother for the next generation or if it is something in the brain that one inherit that make some channel more easier to access. I can only say I have seen this take motion from one generation to the next.

You having a number that keeps poping up is too something many can relate to. Signs are just signs. You have free will and are more powerful than you realize. Sure it is wonderful to be given signs but they don't tell you what to do or what the right choice is, they are just there to support you and give you the notion you are not alone. For me both the good forces and low energy forces tend to like to give signs, and I would be extremely confused if I would start to analyze everything and let it dominate my choices. I would not go "What should I do?" and then give up your free will and not trust yourself, your own instinct of what to do. But that's me, maybe.

If this guy you want to not have hurt, but have is your twin flame or not - who am I to say - I just believe we are paired up with members of our soul group for one purpose or another, could be a period in our lives, could be for the rest of our lives.

I would say feel - and go with the flow - try not to think too much, if possible. Just live. All you can do now is make a mence from your position now in life, then it is up to him if he will accept or not. There is nothing else you can do.

Lots of people with some medium-gift has had remarkable pain in their lives, it is as if it either pushes something to happen or it is that they are that strong that they wish for that stronger obsticle to grow spiritually. I've read somewhere that before we come here and when one plans one's life we have advisers around us so we won't do too much pain in one life time as we then risk maybe commiting suicide, but I don't know, of course, if that is true.

I heard something the other day that really resonated with me to the point of tears. In truth, my grandmother was the only one that truly loved me for me. I never felt like I fully belonged and I always felt like I was a burden or something to my family. For whatever reason, I felt safe and comfortable with my friend and it was truly quite inexplainable. The whole thing was crazy and illogical and because of this, bothers the heck out of me. I didn't really think of it until I heard this:

"The universe showed you what a true home felt like and then ripped it away so you can realize that it is found within yourself."

That was it - I felt like he was home. But I don't need someone else to make me feel like I'm home, I need to learn that for myself and then decide who is worthy enough to share it with me equally.

[eyesopen2020]

Originally Posted by asearcher

Honey, with all due respect, that feeling exactly - feeling like you are home - that is a feeling one get with a soulmate. Sure, you can find home within yourself (harmony) too - but that, that right there - to be home with someone else, that is something great (part of greatness) and not something to throw away.

I realize this may be a stupid memory but one of the first I had that made me realize just how different my friend was from my husband.

At the time I drove a minivan and I wanted to trade it in for a Wrangler. I was so excited to move on to the next chapter and at the end of the purchase, my h showed up at the dealer and was annoyed he had to be there. He then started making fun of me to the sales guy as to why I am even buying it because I don't even open my sunroof on the van, blah blah blah. I remember how embarrassed I was and it was definitely awkward.

When I showed the pic of my new Jeep to my friend the next day, he was so excited for me and told me how much he loved it and went on and on. I remember thinking why couldn't my h be like that?

And I considered my h home - until I met my friend, my "home" was being made fun of and being made to feel bad for being me. That completely changed after that. I allowed my my marriage to play out as it should and I did actually try, I spent years in therapy and tried to get him to go also and he wouldn't - until now of course. I do not want to get in the middle of someone else's marriage (more so than I already did). That is his choice to make. So if it is meant to be then it will be. If it isn't, I will always be thankful for what I learned from the journey and hope that he is happy and content in whatever he chooses as well.

I am trying to have a leap of faith and go with the flow but it is a little hard for me - but I am trying.

[eyesopen2020]

Originally Posted by asearcher

I suspected this but did not know if I could suggest it to you. I'm sorry you have not ended up in the way your heart desires, but real happy you managed to get out of a marriage with someone who made fun and pushed you down. I think if one lives long enough with a full blown narcissist or psychopath they take little and little over time, that one does not even notice the unbalance, because you are an empath you want to think the best of everyone and to forgive and forget. Now you got yourself back. Congrats :) be careful in the future so you don't fall for the same type of energy exchange (I have been there, done that) that is there between empaths and narcissists or psychopaths. Just love yourself. I understand though it must be frustraded to be that close (with the friendship) and yet not. He came around when he needed to show you another type of man and how to treat someone, it can be those little moments that will later when one look back shine so bright, just like you remembered. I had unfortunately been in a complete mistake of a relationship with someone I think was worse than a narcissist and I remember that one time someone did just a simple gesture, of giving, to me and I suddenly felt as if I was going to cry out of appreciation because no one had treated me with that kind of generousity, that kindness for some time (I had isolated myself with that person before, the classic) and I thought My god there is a world out there - a world of normal kind human beings and I will fight til my last breath to get out there again. For me it was simply to either decided I will die here (in the relationship, mentally before physically) or I will do what it takes, little by little if so, so I will release myself. I was never pulled back in. His mistake was to leave me alone for a period and then try to win me back again but during that time - I was rebuilding myself. When I got out of that - being healed - I had never felt better. I don't think he for a second truly loved me but it could be he thought he did because that was all he was able to give and by his book he gave much. I felt his dangerous energy before becoming involved with him and I blame myself for letting myself over time ignore that first instinct feeling, the feeling was that I truly, strongly disliked him. After that - I always follow my instinct and I'm right. So please norture yourself. Narcissists and worse can see someone with damaged self esteem and, or someone with empathy miles away.

Thank you so much and I am so sorry you had to go through similar situations. It's amazing how things happen at such a slow pace you don't realize the effect until you look at the big picture over years. I'm so embarrassed. I would love to chat more about your experiences and/or journey if you'd like to message me. I love learning new things and how others overcame their adversities.

[Kaytee]

I've always found numerology to be very fascinating! I would certainly not believe that after seeing the number 23 that much that it would be just a coincidence. Interesting indeed!

[angel-of-light]

Originally Posted by eyesopen2020

*Editing because I tend to get carried away and my original post was mumbled (I really am trying to get better). I also want to state that my "spiritual journey" all started only about two and a half months ago when I casually went to a psychic and was blown away by the insight I was given. After that it seemed like things started falling into place.

To sum up: I think my Grandmother who passed on years ago is my guardian angel and I see her signs everywhere. I have had a very difficult life and honestly thought I was being punished by God. For the last several years I have gone through quite an awakening to my reality and a lot of it has to do with a person I have become very close and recently discovered that he is possibly my twin flame. Both of our lives have been upended, mine for the better and his for the worse. There are really specific signs pointing directly to him from what I consider my angel number and other readings (details below) and I feel like I unknowingly manifested him into my life.

On one hand, I feel really honored that my grandmother is there as my angel along with others to protect me and that I am in this great space (most of the time) but on the other hand, feel really guilty that I may have meddled in someone else's life and hurt them just because my life was messed up. I am really upset about this because I have genuine love and care deeply for the well-being of this person and know he is in a great deal of pain. Even though he originally approached me, I can't help but blame myself for this and am trying to figure out why this situation would present itself the way it has.

Just looking for any insight from anyone =).

Further details below about my angel number 23 and crazy specific Twin Flame coincidences:

I see the number 23 EVERYWHERE and the frequency has increased. I looked it up and the angel number is to follow your heart and do something you love:

- The day my friend messaged me his profile pic was of a basketball player wearing a jersey with the number 23.

- I was watching a general pick a card reading on YouTube and the energy they were describing was definitely of my soon to be ex. He is a narcissitic, emotionally abusive, cheating liar that bankrupted us. The card she picked up was one of a person getting attacked by bees. She goes on to say that she sees the bees as the Egyptian Sun God Ra and my ancestors sent him specifically to attack this person for depleting my abundance and to protect me. That is literally who my friend is named after - Ra. In fact when we started talking, I remembered thinking how perfect I thought he was and that he was my husband's worst nightmare.

- Most importantly, with or without anything that I have learned from a spiritual sense: I have been with my h for 16 years and although I saw the red flags, I ignored them. I would have never actually caught what he was doing had it not been for my friend and I certainly would have never had the strength and courage (at least at the time) to do something about it if it weren't for him. I literally owe it to him for saving me from my awful marriage.

Other interesting and important number 23s for me:

- My youngest son is a double rainbow baby and was born on his due date, 1/23/13, none of my other three were even close to their due date (I prayed to my Gram about him too)

- I found my Grandmother when I went to pick her up on Christmas day but I know she died on 12/23 and that was the last day I saw her (It had snowed that night and there weren't any footprints, she would have gone out). My Gram was very special to me and I asked her to be my guardian angel before she died. She used to have religious dreams and was such a wonderfully genuine person with the kindest eyes. Her life was very tough too and people used to make fun of her and think she was crazy. I would pray to her and ask her to help me with this situation and that it would end the way it was supposed to. When I recently went to that psychic reading, he told me that my Grandmother was reminding me that I was just like her and to have faith. I am trying but feel like all of this is too crazy and I have only told one person because I feel like I am making this up.

Sorry this is so long and I have so many questions...

allow me to clear some confusion, you must understand something dear one,
destiny cannot be changed if he is the one for you that will work,
your passed beloved one will want only the best for you,
the last thing she will want is that you will feel guilty,
you must understand when it comes to relationships many
great forces are involved if the 2 are meant for one doesn't matter what,
they will stick so that not something that can be messed up,
now what you may refer to as freedom of choice granted to us (not only humans all creations) is the ability how to act in your journey think of it
like walking in the path were destined to meet a wounded traveler,
you can come to help him you can come and ignore him or attack him,
that freedom of will) a good story to learn how is like that,
a man went to a fortune teller that tells him when he gets out of the building
a piano will fall on him and that he will die,
the men were scared so he thinks and finds an emergency exit he indeed dodged the piano, but as crossed the street a truck came and slammed him and he dies,
the mean by destiny how will he die doesn't matter and can be changed with endless possibilities but
the result will still be the same) destiny is written the moment you born and
enter your body that something we all agree and also to forget who we are
and everything we learn that part of our journey to rediscover ourself
and who we are truly(the soul) that called awakening to remembering who we are
and what we are here for.

[eyesopen2020]

Originally Posted by Kaytee

I've always found numerology to be very fascinating! I would certainly not believe that after seeing the number 23 that much that it would be just a coincidence. Interesting indeed!

Sorry I am just responding to this now - I am still seeing that number and his name everywhere and at one point tried to write down what I was doing/or when see these things and I stopped at like 40+ times because it became too distracting.

[eyesopen2020]

Originally Posted by angel-of-light

allow me to clear some confusion, you must understand something dear one,
destiny cannot be changed if he is the one for you that will work,
your passed beloved one will want only the best for you,
the last thing she will want is that you will feel guilty,
you must understand when it comes to relationships many
great forces are involved if the 2 are meant for one doesn't matter what,
they will stick so that not something that can be messed up,
now what you may refer to as freedom of choice granted to us (not only humans all creations) is the ability how to act in your journey think of it
like walking in the path were destined to meet a wounded traveler,
you can come to help him you can come and ignore him or attack him,
that freedom of will) a good story to learn how is like that,
a man went to a fortune teller that tells him when he gets out of the building
a piano will fall on him and that he will die,
the men were scared so he thinks and finds an emergency exit he indeed dodged the piano, but as crossed the street a truck came and slammed him and he dies,
the mean by destiny how will he die doesn't matter and can be changed with endless possibilities but
the result will still be the same) destiny is written the moment you born and
enter your body that something we all agree and also to forget who we are
and everything we learn that part of our journey to rediscover ourself
and who we are truly(the soul) that called awakening to remembering who we are
and what we are here for.

Sorry I am just responding to this now - My friend and I are not talking at the moment and I am trying to move on and let him do his own thing but it seems the more I try, the more I see things that seem to remind me of him. About two weeks ago, I was driving along and said out loud "ok, that's it! I have to move on!" and as soon as I said that, a rock hit my windshield and left a divot. I kind of laughed and said OK OK! I surrender! The number 23 is everywhere 40+ times a day. I open spreadsheets and the mouse will be pointing to that number on a page with hundreds of numbers, dates, money, songs, license plates, clocks, I can stop a video that I'm watching and it will have 23 somewhere in the time stamp (1:25:23), or 23 comments or 23 hours ago or 2.3k likes or 2 for $3, 23 miles, etc. It is insane. And these are not just things I see over the past several weeks - I see it through that many platforms throughout my day. One of my lessons is that I didn't have boundaries and I put my foot down and stood up for myself, we haven't talked in a few weeks but our account is still open because it's like we CAN'T fully let it go. I honestly just don't get it. I am trying to learn my lessons but at what point will it end? Heck, even the other day I looked at my radio and let's say his name is "Jo" It literally said "9:23 UNPRETTY JO" (I was listening to Unpretty by TLC, LOL). I feel like I am going crazy and I wonder if he is having the same things happen to him.

[angel-of-light]

Originally Posted by eyesopen2020

Sorry I am just responding to this now - My friend and I are not talking at the moment and I am trying to move on and let him do his own thing but it seems the more I try, the more I see things that seem to remind me of him. About two weeks ago, I was driving along and said out loud "ok, that's it! I have to move on!" and as soon as I said that, a rock hit my windshield and left a divot. I kind of laughed and said OK OK! I surrender! The number 23 is everywhere 40+ times a day. I open spreadsheets and the mouse will be pointing to that number on a page with hundreds of numbers, dates, money, songs, license plates, clocks, I can stop a video that I'm watching and it will have 23 somewhere in the time stamp (1:25:23), or 23 comments or 23 hours ago or 2.3k likes or 2 for $3, 23 miles, etc. It is insane. And these are not just things I see over the past several weeks - I see it through that many platforms throughout my day. One of my lessons is that I didn't have boundaries and I put my foot down and stood up for myself, we haven't talked in a few weeks but our account is still open because it's like we CAN'T fully let it go. I honestly just don't get it. I am trying to learn my lessons but at what point will it end? Heck, even the other day I looked at my radio and let's say his name is "Jo" It literally said "9:23 UNPRETTY JO" (I was listening to Unpretty by TLC, LOL). I feel like I am going crazy and I wonder if he is having the same things happen to him.

then try to get back to him, isn't that obvious ?,
what if that your grandmother tells you not to give up on him ?,
going crazy ? far from it ,first just don't panic and keep those signs to yourself if he indeed have those signs the moment you talk back to him he will be pulled back to you,now waste no more time and try get back to him but never tell him of those signs there is a reason why those signs are on subtle and why spirits and angel often talk in signs and clues, unless you are psychic then you can directly talk to them but most ordinary people's if they could would probably think they going crazy one of the reason why to become a medium one has to train intuitive first is to open themselves for communication without blockages, sorry if there is spelling mistakes i couldn't sleep I feel unwell i had a feeling i need to come here and there you are,so go for him dear one waste no more time.

[eyesopen2020]

Originally Posted by angel-of-light

then try to get back to him, isn't that obvious ?,
what if that your grandmother tells you not to give up on him ?,
going crazy ? far from it ,first just don't panic and keep those signs to yourself if he indeed have those signs the moment you talk back to him he will be pulled back to you,now waste no more time and try get back to him but never tell him of those signs there is a reason why those signs are on subtle and why spirits and angel often talk in signs and clues, unless you are psychic then you can directly talk to them but most ordinary people's if they could would probably think they going crazy one of the reason why to become a medium one has to train intuitive first is to open themselves for communication without blockages, sorry if there is spelling mistakes i couldn't sleep I feel unwell i had a feeling i need to come here and there you are,so go for him dear one waste no more time.

Thank you, I am actually trying my best to work on myself and just leave a space open for when/if he comes back. I feel that he will and if he doesn't, then that is ok too. I have made my feelings known and I am leaving the rest up to him. I will keep you updated!*I will say that I continue to see the number and hear the number 23 in songs so I am having a hard time letting go but I don't want to push him. I am not going to lie though, it seems the more I try to move on the more it drives me crazy, lol. I even dream about it - sometimes I can't tell if I am just thinking about him but I seem to wake up and he's immediately on my mind. But as a continuation...it's weird. I also have bruises and I'm not sure where they come from, a lot on my hands/wrists. The whole thing fascinates me.