I cannot deal with this pain anymore

[sapphirerose]

I just found out a soulmate of mine is going through a very hard time and is deeply miserable about a certain situation regarding his marriage. This man is an extended family member whom I believe is one of my soulmates for several reasons. We don't see each other very much, yet we do share an emotional connection and I always feel that he is with me.

He has experienced many hardships and low moments in his life. For some reason, when I hear about whatever he's going through, it has an effect on me that I can't describe. Hearing of his latest news has caused me to feel so deeply sad, like my heart is being torn in two. It doesn't feel like a 'normal' kind of sadness, like what others might feel when they hear about it. It's like my heart has dropped to the floor; I want to cry for him, I can barely move - can't do anything. It's like I actually feel the pain he's feeling.

I am not usually an empathic person. Yet, with him, it's like I am to an extreme degree. I feel so useless and helpless. I want so badly to talk to him and comfort him, but I know it's not my place to interfere. To think of him being in pain of any kind, emotional or physical, moves me into such a depressive state that I can't explain it. Is this normal? Why does his sadness always effect me so much?

[Podshell]

Sounds like you are punishing yourself, my loving sister does it when I go through any difficulties and they are never near as bad as what she has built up in her mind! So I tell her not to fret as we always pull through and are stronger for it.

Originally Posted by sapphirerose

I just found out a soulmate of mine is going through a very hard time and is deeply miserable about a certain situation regarding his marriage. This man is an extended family member whom I believe is one of my soulmates for several reasons. We don't see each other very much, yet we do share an emotional connection and I always feel that he is with me.

Are you sure he's a soul mate, not just someone you care deeply about.

In my (admittedly limited) experience of soul mates, they're usually on
the same wavelength in many things which would place you having (or having
had) similar experiences, beliefs, commonalities.

He has experienced many hardships and low moments in his life. For some reason, when I hear about whatever he's going through, it has an effect on me that I can't describe. Hearing of his latest news has caused me to feel so deeply sad, like my heart is being torn in two. It doesn't feel like a 'normal' kind of sadness, like what others might feel when they hear about it. It's like my heart has dropped to the floor; I want to cry for him, I can barely move - can't do anything. It's like I actually feel the pain he's feeling.

I am not usually an empathic person. Yet, with him, it's like I am to an extreme degree. I feel so useless and helpless. I want so badly to talk to him and comfort him, but I know it's not my place to interfere. To think of him being in pain of any kind, emotional or physical, moves me into such a depressive state that I can't explain it. Is this normal? Why does his sadness always effect me so much?

Certainly normal toward someone you deeply care about. It's possible you
and he could be soul mates if he straightened himself out. It may be
enough at this time to make it known that you are there, should he want to talk
anything through.
You don't explain enough to say more but if he does keep you in the frame about
what's going on, best to just make suggestions if you have any. He has
to deal with the problems he owns with or without help but the motivation
has to come from him. Some may never be solved - depends what they are
but a optimistic outlook may help with the difficult ones.

Same with you. You have to look at why it causes you so much pain. You are
not going to be a great help if his problems are causing you pain without realising
what it's about. One of the big dangers is you may be supporting rather than
assuaging his woes. Keeping a distance (while on the one hand it might sound unkind)
puts you in a more objective position to help when needed.

Hard to say more, really.

♥

[Holly]

Originally Posted by sapphirerose

I just found out a soulmate of mine is going through a very hard time and is deeply miserable about a certain situation regarding his marriage. This man is an extended family member whom I believe is one of my soulmates for several reasons. We don't see each other very much, yet we do share an emotional connection and I always feel that he is with me.

He has experienced many hardships and low moments in his life. For some reason, when I hear about whatever he's going through, it has an effect on me that I can't describe. Hearing of his latest news has caused me to feel so deeply sad, like my heart is being torn in two. It doesn't feel like a 'normal' kind of sadness, like what others might feel when they hear about it. It's like my heart has dropped to the floor; I want to cry for him, I can barely move - can't do anything. It's like I actually feel the pain he's feeling.

I am not usually an empathic person. Yet, with him, it's like I am to an extreme degree. I feel so useless and helpless. I want so badly to talk to him and comfort him, but I know it's not my place to interfere. To think of him being in pain of any kind, emotional or physical, moves me into such a depressive state that I can't explain it. Is this normal? Why does his sadness always effect me so much?

Eh. I'm having issues with my "mirror soul" or twin too, inasmuch as I'm spending a lot of time in a great deal of pain so I sympathise with you For me it's because of resistance, really, inside me. And fear. I just have to trust it will all work out. It's that or get very down LOL!

I think....you can offer someone a shoulder or an ear but that's all, really, and that's the same with twins or anybody else. If he takes you up on the offer then you can offer further help if you can.

Sometimes people just have to be left alone to work through things, or at least allowed to work through things with supportive company.