Being ready for you TF and age

[Akira]

Hey there
The whole tf thing is so confused, because once upon a time it was just couples meeting and feeling these connections and the only time you'd really hear about it was if the media picked it up in some way.

I knew my tf for years and the truth is we were not ready when we were younger, we were no where near ready in fact. I didn't even know what a tf was, but I knew that my feelings for him were real. He felt the same way, but we were unable to voice this to one another.

We are back together now and the thing that is very clear is that there was no way that we were spiritually evolved enough to be together when we were younger.

We both went through very similar trials and tribulations while we were apart and the experiences that we had helped us to mature spiritually in a way that keeps the relationship together...

So yes maybe age is a question and I think that it's about maturity. and I guess as discussed in this thread the younger generation do have something on us in terms of knowledge and being able to move forward etc, etc.

Yet, we were all born in the time that we were born for a specific reason.

xxx

[ssdm1]

I do believe this is about maturity and maturity comes with age. For my experience when we were young we did not possess the maturity to deal with the spirituality or the negativity that was thrown at us from friends. It's not until now as mature adults that I think we both have reached that level of maturity.

People in my life still do not understand the unique relationship we share and I still get negativity thrown at me. People telling me how he "should" act towards me, what he "should" be doing. I've now reached the point in life where I can let all of that roll off me and truly understand the unique bond between us without the 3D expectations.

I knew nothing of twin flames or soul mates when we were young and never went looking for that. It wasn't until about a year ago, after he came back in my life and the reconnection was so intense that I went looking for answers and came upon the term twin flame. That explained everything.

There is so much information available for people today and more are aware of soul mates or twin flames and go consciously looking at every relationship as having those characteristics.

For me this just happened a very long time ago. It is clear in our situation we both needed to live separate lives and have the experiences we did (not always good ones) to bring us to the point we are today.

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Thank you for your view! Appreciated :)
There's one thing I'd like to comment on...



You do indeed have to embrace that part of self you don't like, don't see, try to hide etc. etc. You basically have to learn to embrace all of You. Not easy.
In a way that's also Shadow work (Jung) and developing your inner Animus (for women) or inner Anima (for men) so it becomes healthy and supportive.
You can also see it as embracing your inner Yang (women) or inner Yin (Men).

If you are able to do that, even partially, you are however still not whole in the sense of what TFs are about.
As a female with part inner masculine energy I can NEVER be Yang. Unless I become very very masculine, but then I'd lose my femininity...
So as an individual one may be whole (or need to work on becoming it), but then there's the next step: the TF who complements the you that is whole.
It's not filling in missing parts as you are whole. It's complementing what you are not, because you are Yin with a tiny bit of Yang.
In my case he truly is the Yang to my Yin. That means I can be even more 'me', even more whole, cos I can step fully into my Yin-with-tiny-bit-of-Yang. Meaning he makes me more whole as an individual.
Without him as a single, or in relationship with a more feminine energy man or a less fully mature/empowered man, I'd have to carry much of the masculine energies. Which is not me, because I am Yin. I can only truly be whole when I can be Yin. He allows me to do that, to step into my Yin strength, just because he is truly Yang.

That is something you can not achieve on your own.
THe part you're talking about is more the steps you have to go through before you are ready to meet your TF.
Quite logical; if you haven't embraced most of your Self, you aren't ready to accept, embrace and allow in the complement the TF brings you.
That would be like trying to put the 10th floor's penthouse on a foundation with all of the other floors missing still. It's impossible. Not advisable.

As for the 6 yr olds... I partially agree... Partially, as yes, the younger generation (children I mean) already have a higher vibration so for them it will be much easier when they're adults to achieve things that we had to work decades for. We prepped the way for them, that's why these higher vibr. children can now incarnate. Which is beautiful! True progress.
On the other hand side... Kids that age haven't gone through the hardships of life just yet. They're still mostly unscathed. They haven't lost lovers, don't have responsibility to make sure the bills get paid etc etc etc.
When I was 6, I was also carefree, and when you're carefree it's easy to be loving, respectful and so on. And I was also very wise, intuitive, clairvoyant, clairaudient. But there wasn't anyone in my environment who understood.
Not trying to pat me on the back, trying to explain that it's all relative.

First thank you very much for your explanation of the male-female aspect or the white and black and how it comes into play, and your diescription and differences between a whole individual and the Yin to yang or yang to yin what have you.

It is appreciated as it seems to help me understand a little better why the TF is necessary.

However one thing doesn't seem fair to me, individuals state one must be spiritual aware of themselves and spiritually mature, in order to meet their other half or mirror self- the TF.

What about being emotionally mature? I mean spiritually mature what does that mean? That we are all to strive to increase our psychic or any other abilities to be able to reach a point where we are able to meet someone so wonderful and beautiful as a human and spiritual being to compliment us in a way that naturally oposses us- a match to us a king to our queen, a light to our shaow and a shaow to our light, that opposite that comes in opposition to us in order for us as individuals to be able to grow? Spiritual maturity I am sorry to say sounds like it seems we are all to strive to be some sort of spiritual, ascended, buddha master- which we all are not and really and honestly can not be.

Why is it seen that we need another to grow and develop as a spiritual human being? This is something we should all be doing as caring humans for ourselves and others and the world at large anyway. Despite whether we feel all good with another human being, or not.

Like I stated when looking for a physical partner- and this and my whole post is of no disrespect to anyone here or elsehwere young and old alike- when looking for another human what takes precedence for me is one are they kind hearted- do they treat me respectfully and with love caring compassion. Two are they kind to others do they treat others including my family and friends with love caring and compassion?

Human traits I need in an individual. Traits I respect in an individual. Traits I do not consider spiritual in and of themselves. Someone could believe the total opposite of me or be completely skeptical but so far as they are loyal honest trustworthy kind and compassionate with myself, themselves and others- I would take them as a friend and mate and better half in a heartbeat.

Regardless of their age, intelligence, appearance, social status, quirks, or whether they fit this spiritual TF agenda or not.

I do not mean or intend to be disrespectful at all here. But it seems unfair that Myself a very kind loving honest trustworthy respectful polite and compassionate person is told I do not deserve the same type of love I put forth and the beautiful concept of a spiritual connection, because I am young foolish rash unintelligent or not spiritually mature by people on the web who do not know me, have never known me or met me are about as psychic about me as an ant trying to claw its way out of a paper bag. I am not saying anything bad about anyone here or their beliefs and am not trying to, I suppose I am confused on the issue of why some seem to find the love they need and are cared about by a male person in an emotional relationship, and those of us like myself who take the twin flame issue with a grain of salt, and whom dream of a spiritual emotional connection and relationship like such- seem to be cast aside like swine, with the personality of a bulldog.... it seems.. haha.

Ah well. I suppose I walk this world alone until I am no longer a Twinflame outcast and cast downwards and forsaken by God..

That last part there was a joke to cheer myself up.

Take care and glad you have found your match.
I suppose it is good there is still good out there for some.

Yes I sound very much like "Waaaahhh" right about now.
And feel even worse in a way to be honest.
But like everything else I will pull and get through it.

[Holly]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

It was truly coming home when we met and since we have both already gone through a lot of personal growth, we talk when something is wrong. Things are very transparent between us. And we can both handle healthy, pure communication. There's never is any judging or accusing. We TALK. We support, we understand, we care. We want to get to know one another, not fight the other. We want to grow closer together, not push the other away.

Isn't that what a TF relationship is supposed to be like?

Yes :) In my experience that's exactly what it's like. I was already that way when I met mine. My struggles and challenges were internal as I fought with fears, but love for him always overrode ANY wish I had to do ANYTHING that might be negative or destructive for us. It still does. I may suffer battling through my personal issues but I NEVER let that spread into the relationship and neither of us is ever destructive.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

What's the point of TFs getting together when you aren't even ready?

The point is that the TF helps you heal and become ready. Some people are a stones throw from being capable of having a TF relationship and just need a little help.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Much/most of what I read is rather immature and ego-based stuff. I don't mean that judgemental btw... maturity concerning many things does come with age. Might grate on ppl to hear that, but even when you are only 25 you understand that you are more mature than a 14 yrs old. At the same time, at 25 you are less mature than someone 45. Logical.

I would say the ego based stuff is just someone learning, or it's dark stuff coming up to be dealt with and healed. And re; maturity...generally speaking older people are wiser in certain ways, but they can also be more indoctrinated and hidebound. They aren't always wiser in the right ways. They certainly aren't always open-minded! Sometimes they are downright stubborn and try to force their experiences to comform to the reality they EXPECT.

And sometimes they are so angry and disillusioned that they push the TF experience away, like they push ALL partners away, out of fear of being hurt yet again.

In my experience healing with the TF relationhip happens by working backwards through your personal issues, from yesterday all the way back to your babyhood. Older people sometimes have a longer journey to make to readiness. Younger people have been less traumatised on the whole and have less to transmute to reach their core and heart.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

The ones who are positive and seem to truly be in a TF relationship are mostly older, 40 or 50-ish.

I'm 30. I met mine when I was 22, and literally went through internal hell.

Don't forget people are born at different vibrations. Some of us have specific soul contracts to do this stuff early too, and some people are more able to grow psychologically than others, too. I contracted to do this early and I'm due to die fairly early too. I'm an incarnated angelic being, we often don't live that long. I had to get my TF experience happening early or I wouldn't manage ascension in time before my body is due to die. So it depends on the person.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

You really need to have gotten rid of most of your issues to be ready for even meeting your TF, which takes time, meaning you cannot be there at a young age.

Again...this is clearly your experience but it's not mine. I would say age is irrelevant because chronological age doesn't match up with spiritual or even psychological age. I know some 70 year olds who still lose their temper like toddlers and some 30 year olds with the patience of a saint.

[bluebird21]

My twin and I met when we were 7. Then reunited in our late teens. I was not in some purified evolved place in fact I was sick and very much in ego.

So truth is you do not have to reach a certain level of maturity to meet your twin. Maybe on a soul level but I am even skeptical about this. Twins often meet young then separate and some come back together down the line. Also it's not uncommon for them to meet at a time when when or both have recently suffered a great loss creating big change in their lives.

But I agree with the OP that for physical Union between the two both absolutely need to have a strong foundation of maturity and reached a level of individuation and awakenment.

[noxlumina]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

It'll probably upset some people, not my intention, just some genuine thoughts and ponderings...


I'm beginning to think most who claim to have met their TF haven't really reached the stage -within themselves- where they can be ready to be with their TF? The ones who still need to do a lot of personal growth. Maybe it's an age thing, I don't know. I beginning to wonder what the average age of ppl who make these claims is.

As for myself, I met him last year, and although it hasn't always been easy and because of external circumstances we cannot be together very often, but we ARE romantically involved. And we are progressing as a couple, and we both want to.
It was truly coming home when we met and since we have both already gone through a lot of personal growth, we talk when something is wrong. Things are very transparent between us. And we can both handle healthy, pure communication. There's never is any judging or accusing. We TALK. We support, we understand, we care. We want to get to know one another, not fight the other. We want to grow closer together, not push the other away.

Isn't that what a TF relationship is supposed to be like? Maybe it's an age thing, I'm 50, he's a few yrs older, so we both have already been 'weathered' by life and previous relationships.

What's the point of TFs getting together when you aren't even ready? And that makes me wonder if what most ppl are talking about actually IS a TF relationship. I'm thinking mostly it is not...
Much/most of what I read is rather immature and ego-based stuff. I don't mean that judgemental btw... maturity concerning many things does come with age. Might grate on ppl to hear that, but even when you are only 25 you understand that you are more mature than a 14 yrs old. At the same time, at 25 you are less mature than someone 45. Logical.

Anyways, ego-based 'battles' is not what a TF relationship is about. I really wonder if most aren't with a soulmate or Twinsoul (not the same as Flame) and are still purging to get ready for their TF. EVentually. Likely when they're a bit older, and wiser, and thus ready.

The ones who are positive and seem to truly be in a TF relationship are mostly older, 40 or 50-ish.
I think maybe (most of) younger ppl simply aren't ready yet for such a high vibrational connection. Not because you aren't good enough or anything, but simply because you haven't gone through enough growth yet. You haven't had the time yet, you haven't experienced enough yet. You probably think you do, but sorry to say, so does a 16 yr old...
You really need to have gotten rid of most of your issues to be ready for even meeting your TF, which takes time, meaning you cannot be there at a young age.
I do occasionally come across young ppl with very wise souls, very mature. But they are few and far between. That's not judgement, just fact.

The result of all this is what you see on these forum boards: (mostly younger) ppl spreading a lot of negativity about TFs. I've never seen so much negativity as in this subforum on TFs. That fact alone means you aren't ready, because it means you don't understand what TFs are about. You take it personal that it hasn't happened to you (yet), that you got hurt in love etc. etc.

Oh well, this will probably upset ppl
Lemme finish with, if you are still rather young and do understand or are open to the concept, steer clear from all the negativity on here. Focus on positive info. Use your intuition to define what is good info and what is negative, ego-based stuff that will only drag you down. Just to protect yourself.

You are describing everything I've thought for a long time. I have noticed this very same thing!!

I'm 43 and I've followed the idea of soulmates for a long time, it started getting a lot of press when I was a young teenager and the "New Age" movement was in the news, Shirley MacLaine's book came out, etc. I've noticed forever that with what people described as a "soulmate" type of relationship (which maps to what is being called "twin flame" now) - the people who were soulmate success stories, were all over 40. They were people likely on their second marriage (for some, it might even be their third or fourth) and already been through and processed a lot of trauma, done a lot of growing, and found their spiritual path *before* coming to be with that partner.

The purpose of the relationship was *not* building a stable home and family, which is what most people in their 20s and 30s are looking for. They had already done that with others.

I'm 43 and my boyfriend is 37 and it's very much a "soulmate" relationship in the sense that he is in my soul family and we have a deep even wordless connection, and we share a lot spiritually and creatively speaking, but it's *easy* and it just flows. It's calm and supportive but still sexy and exciting, but we do work at it based on what we learned from previous relationships. We met 15 years ago and had an on-off friendship for a long time, and were not even drawn to each other before the last few years, and the attraction is based on the people we became (plus the age difference mattered more when we were in our twenties); we had to experience the things we experienced, and the hurts of and by other people. We are both growing as people and stepping up to greater challenges because of this relationship, but it's NOT HARD like other relationships were! I don't map it to what these people are describing as a "Twin Flame" and tbh if that chaos and turmoil is what a TF is, I don't want one!

I couldn't have had this relationship when I was in my 20s. I never had a relationship of the kind of depth that I wanted until this relationship, and I don't think it would have happened before now. But it didn't just show up. We both are experienced people who have held jobs, been financially responsible for others, and had other relationships. We have experienced loss, pain, illness and don't take anything for granted.

Also, other "spiritual seekers" and creative types in my age group were often too flaky (as opposed to people in midlife who arrived at a spiritual path after trauma or growing into that path over time) and unable to commit to the actual 3d work in a relationship (which involves responsibility, helping out, being supportive even if you don't feel like it sometimes, being accountable with your time, and often, holding down a job), and there was always the push me/pull you that these people are describing. I suspect that many people have to experience their spiritual awakening by themselves and the beginning of that path, coupled with a person being young/inexperienced and or not being stable in their 3d career/material life, is often too fraught to sustain good relationships.

[noxlumina]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

It'll probably upset some people, not my intention, just some genuine thoughts and ponderings...


I'm beginning to think most who claim to have met their TF haven't really reached the stage -within themselves- where they can be ready to be with their TF? The ones who still need to do a lot of personal growth. Maybe it's an age thing, I don't know. I beginning to wonder what the average age of ppl who make these claims is.

As for myself, I met him last year, and although it hasn't always been easy and because of external circumstances we cannot be together very often, but we ARE romantically involved. And we are progressing as a couple, and we both want to.
It was truly coming home when we met and since we have both already gone through a lot of personal growth, we talk when something is wrong. Things are very transparent between us. And we can both handle healthy, pure communication. There's never is any judging or accusing. We TALK. We support, we understand, we care. We want to get to know one another, not fight the other. We want to grow closer together, not push the other away.

Isn't that what a TF relationship is supposed to be like? Maybe it's an age thing, I'm 50, he's a few yrs older, so we both have already been 'weathered' by life and previous relationships.

What's the point of TFs getting together when you aren't even ready? And that makes me wonder if what most ppl are talking about actually IS a TF relationship. I'm thinking mostly it is not...
Much/most of what I read is rather immature and ego-based stuff. I don't mean that judgemental btw... maturity concerning many things does come with age. Might grate on ppl to hear that, but even when you are only 25 you understand that you are more mature than a 14 yrs old. At the same time, at 25 you are less mature than someone 45. Logical.

Anyways, ego-based 'battles' is not what a TF relationship is about. I really wonder if most aren't with a soulmate or Twinsoul (not the same as Flame) and are still purging to get ready for their TF. EVentually. Likely when they're a bit older, and wiser, and thus ready.

The ones who are positive and seem to truly be in a TF relationship are mostly older, 40 or 50-ish.
I think maybe (most of) younger ppl simply aren't ready yet for such a high vibrational connection. Not because you aren't good enough or anything, but simply because you haven't gone through enough growth yet. You haven't had the time yet, you haven't experienced enough yet. You probably think you do, but sorry to say, so does a 16 yr old...
You really need to have gotten rid of most of your issues to be ready for even meeting your TF, which takes time, meaning you cannot be there at a young age.
I do occasionally come across young ppl with very wise souls, very mature. But they are few and far between. That's not judgement, just fact.

The result of all this is what you see on these forum boards: (mostly younger) ppl spreading a lot of negativity about TFs. I've never seen so much negativity as in this subforum on TFs. That fact alone means you aren't ready, because it means you don't understand what TFs are about. You take it personal that it hasn't happened to you (yet), that you got hurt in love etc. etc.

Oh well, this will probably upset ppl
Lemme finish with, if you are still rather young and do understand or are open to the concept, steer clear from all the negativity on here. Focus on positive info. Use your intuition to define what is good info and what is negative, ego-based stuff that will only drag you down. Just to protect yourself.

You are describing everything I've thought for a long time. I have noticed this very same thing!!

I'm 43 and I've followed the idea of soulmates for a long time, it started getting a lot of press when I was a young teenager and the "New Age" movement was in the news, Shirley MacLaine's book came out, etc. I've noticed forever that with what people described as a "soulmate" type of relationship (which maps to what is being called "twin flame" now) - the people who were soulmate success stories, were all over 40. They were people likely on their second marriage (for some, it might even be their third or fourth) and already been through and processed a lot of trauma, done a lot of growing, and found their spiritual path *before* coming to be with that partner.

The purpose of the relationship was *not* building a stable home and family, which is what most people in their 20s and 30s are looking for. They had already done that with others. Most of the "soulmates" seemed to have already had a career path, a stable spiritual practice, and a solid sense of identity before coming to that relationship.

I'm 43 and my boyfriend is 37 and it's very much a "soulmate" relationship in the sense that he is in my soul family and we have a deep even wordless connection, and we share a lot spiritually and creatively speaking, but it's *easy* and it just flows.

I couldn't have had this relationship when I was in my 20s. I never had a relationship of the kind of depth that I wanted until this relationship, and I don't think it would have happened before now.

Also, other "spiritual seekers" and creative types in my age group were often too flaky (as opposed to people in midlife who arrived at a spiritual path after trauma or growing into that path over time) and unable to commit to the actual 3d work in a relationship (which involves responsibility, helping out, being supportive even if you don't feel like it sometimes, being accountable with your time, and often, holding down a job), and there was always the push me/pull you that these people are describing. I suspect that many people have to experience their spiritual awakening by themselves and the beginning of that path, coupled with a person being young/inexperienced and or not being stable in their 3d career/material life, is often too fraught to sustain good relationships.