Being ready for you TF and age

[FairyCrystal]

It'll probably upset some people, not my intention, just some genuine thoughts and ponderings...


I'm beginning to think most who claim to have met their TF haven't really reached the stage -within themselves- where they can be ready to be with their TF? The ones who still need to do a lot of personal growth. Maybe it's an age thing, I don't know. I beginning to wonder what the average age of ppl who make these claims is.

As for myself, I met him last year, and although it hasn't always been easy and because of external circumstances we cannot be together very often, but we ARE romantically involved. And we are progressing as a couple, and we both want to.
It was truly coming home when we met and since we have both already gone through a lot of personal growth, we talk when something is wrong. Things are very transparent between us. And we can both handle healthy, pure communication. There's never is any judging or accusing. We TALK. We support, we understand, we care. We want to get to know one another, not fight the other. We want to grow closer together, not push the other away.

Isn't that what a TF relationship is supposed to be like? Maybe it's an age thing, I'm 50, he's a few yrs older, so we both have already been 'weathered' by life and previous relationships.

What's the point of TFs getting together when you aren't even ready? And that makes me wonder if what most ppl are talking about actually IS a TF relationship. I'm thinking mostly it is not...
Much/most of what I read is rather immature and ego-based stuff. I don't mean that judgemental btw... maturity concerning many things does come with age. Might grate on ppl to hear that, but even when you are only 25 you understand that you are more mature than a 14 yrs old. At the same time, at 25 you are less mature than someone 45. Logical.

Anyways, ego-based 'battles' is not what a TF relationship is about. I really wonder if most aren't with a soulmate or Twinsoul (not the same as Flame) and are still purging to get ready for their TF. EVentually. Likely when they're a bit older, and wiser, and thus ready.

The ones who are positive and seem to truly be in a TF relationship are mostly older, 40 or 50-ish.
I think maybe (most of) younger ppl simply aren't ready yet for such a high vibrational connection. Not because you aren't good enough or anything, but simply because you haven't gone through enough growth yet. You haven't had the time yet, you haven't experienced enough yet. You probably think you do, but sorry to say, so does a 16 yr old...
You really need to have gotten rid of most of your issues to be ready for even meeting your TF, which takes time, meaning you cannot be there at a young age.
I do occasionally come across young ppl with very wise souls, very mature. But they are few and far between. That's not judgement, just fact.

The result of all this is what you see on these forum boards: (mostly younger) ppl spreading a lot of negativity about TFs. I've never seen so much negativity as in this subforum on TFs. That fact alone means you aren't ready, because it means you don't understand what TFs are about. You take it personal that it hasn't happened to you (yet), that you got hurt in love etc. etc.

Oh well, this will probably upset ppl
Lemme finish with, if you are still rather young and do understand or are open to the concept, steer clear from all the negativity on here. Focus on positive info. Use your intuition to define what is good info and what is negative, ego-based stuff that will only drag you down. Just to protect yourself.

[SaturninePluto]

Hi,

There are points in your post I whole-heartedly agree with, and other points I disagree with very slightly.

I personally am very torn on the Twinflame issue. Currently I am not seeing a male relationship wise- neither at this moment do I intend to. For my own good. I realize I need to work on some of my more negative habits and personality traits. I am looking for something real, no sugar coating. I am looking for something of substance, where it is alright and acceptable for myself and a partner to to experience emotional intensity without it being a full fledged drama fest. I don't want to have it to end with someone because they can't handle themselves, their own mistakes and furthermore because I will be able to forgive them transgressions and continue onward with them hand in hand, and they may not be able to muster the courage to forgive themselves.

I disagree slightly though do understand your thoughts on age. Why? I am 34 years old. I am young but I am not young, I am old but I am not old. And to be quite frank here I'm just going to say it, I've met 38 year olds now 39 with such obvious maturity issues they make a sixteen year old look reliable and knowledgeable and one heck of a lot more tolerant. I often find myself stating that six year olds are more mature than many well adjusted adults these days. Why? because six year olds even know better than to treat others so much as half as bad as most self respecting adults these days. There are many kindnesses to be learned from children. They are honest, open and kind. Age means nothing to me. Character speaks volumes.

My main concern with twinflames is the way people act about these beliefs. It's astounding, dizzying almost. It is hard to watch people go through relationships with disillusioned eyes.

A main concern of mine, are those vastly younger and older alike individuals whom go from one relationship to the next to another to the next stating bold loud and proud this is my twinflame my TF my love my other half my mirror self- Next couple months I am threw with men! He is a liar he is scum I can't believe I was ever interested in him- While Pluto here is over here genuinely concerned wondering what in God's creation is wrong with people.

First- self respecting females- yes love is possible! Yes it is possible to have a spiritual connection- No! No! No! Not every moment relationship not the next not every other- Not Every Relationship One Has With The Opposite Sex Is A Spiritual Relationship!

Simple logic. If every relationship we have are meant to have choose to have is a spiritual connection we may as well throw the concept of TwinFlames out the window. Seriously I don't even mean figuratively just throw it out the window now and let us rid ourselves of such nonsense.

Truthfully seeing as how this is winded, really winded, I believe our other half- our mirror selves our twinflames are merely an aspect of ourselves we deny. It makes sense. Integration. Think about it. Is it so bad we all take a breather and consider our unique mirror self- our polar opposite or other half is merely a reflection of a part of ourselves we need to love? That part that often feels unloved?

I feel when we truly come to appreciate and love ourselves as human beings- we then and only then are the most open to receiving love from others, and the world and universe at large. What is wrong with a little faith in ourselves? And liking ourselves exactly as we are? Really, what is wrong with calling this denied unloved aspect of ourselves our better half? And then coming to peacefully acknowledge and accept that?

Think about it. That's all I ask.

[FairyCrystal]

Thank you for your view! Appreciated :)
There's one thing I'd like to comment on...

Originally Posted by SaturninePluto

Truthfully seeing as how this is winded, really winded, I believe our other half- our mirror selves our twinflames are merely an aspect of ourselves we deny. It makes sense. Integration. Think about it. Is it so bad we all take a breather and consider our unique mirror self- our polar opposite or other half is merely a reflection of a part of ourselves we need to love? That part that often feels unloved?

I feel when we truly come to appreciate and love ourselves as human beings- we then and only then are the most open to receiving love from others, and the world and universe at large. What is wrong with a little faith in ourselves? And liking ourselves exactly as we are? Really, what is wrong with calling this denied unloved aspect of ourselves our better half? And then coming to peacefully acknowledge and accept that?

Think about it. That's all I ask.

You do indeed have to embrace that part of self you don't like, don't see, try to hide etc. etc. You basically have to learn to embrace all of You. Not easy.
In a way that's also Shadow work (Jung) and developing your inner Animus (for women) or inner Anima (for men) so it becomes healthy and supportive.
You can also see it as embracing your inner Yang (women) or inner Yin (Men).

If you are able to do that, even partially, you are however still not whole in the sense of what TFs are about.
As a female with part inner masculine energy I can NEVER be Yang. Unless I become very very masculine, but then I'd lose my femininity...
So as an individual one may be whole (or need to work on becoming it), but then there's the next step: the TF who complements the you that is whole.
It's not filling in missing parts as you are whole. It's complementing what you are not, because you are Yin with a tiny bit of Yang.
In my case he truly is the Yang to my Yin. That means I can be even more 'me', even more whole, cos I can step fully into my Yin-with-tiny-bit-of-Yang. Meaning he makes me more whole as an individual.
Without him as a single, or in relationship with a more feminine energy man or a less fully mature/empowered man, I'd have to carry much of the masculine energies. Which is not me, because I am Yin. I can only truly be whole when I can be Yin. He allows me to do that, to step into my Yin strength, just because he is truly Yang.

That is something you can not achieve on your own.
THe part you're talking about is more the steps you have to go through before you are ready to meet your TF.
Quite logical; if you haven't embraced most of your Self, you aren't ready to accept, embrace and allow in the complement the TF brings you.
That would be like trying to put the 10th floor's penthouse on a foundation with all of the other floors missing still. It's impossible. Not advisable.

As for the 6 yr olds... I partially agree... Partially, as yes, the younger generation (children I mean) already have a higher vibration so for them it will be much easier when they're adults to achieve things that we had to work decades for. We prepped the way for them, that's why these higher vibr. children can now incarnate. Which is beautiful! True progress.
On the other hand side... Kids that age haven't gone through the hardships of life just yet. They're still mostly unscathed. They haven't lost lovers, don't have responsibility to make sure the bills get paid etc etc etc.
When I was 6, I was also carefree, and when you're carefree it's easy to be loving, respectful and so on. And I was also very wise, intuitive, clairvoyant, clairaudient. But there wasn't anyone in my environment who understood.
Not trying to pat me on the back, trying to explain that it's all relative.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I'm beginning to think most who claim to have met their TF haven't really reached the stage -within themselves- where they can be ready to be with their TF? The ones who still need to do a lot of personal growth. Maybe it's an age thing, I don't know. I beginning to wonder what the average age of ppl who make these claims is.

I don't think we should think about age as much. Whether aged 8-80 and claim to have met their TF is not our place to say. Experiences differ from person to person and someone who is 18 may very well have much more relationship experience than someone who is 40.

It's likely those who claim to have met their TF did so because of a series of extraordinary events that led them to this conclusion where no other conclusion made sense.

In my case, I never paid much attention to the concept of TFs until my experience with my twin led me to believe in it. Since I'm not very old (35), do I also fall under the category of "too dumb and still a bit delusional?"

Although some claims on these forums do sound very dubious to me, especially those tied to celebrities, those of us who believe we have met our TFs just know it. I'm not going to refute it.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

What's the point of TFs getting together when you aren't even ready? And that makes me wonder if what most ppl are talking about actually IS a TF relationship. I'm thinking mostly it is not...
Much/most of what I read is rather immature and ego-based stuff. I don't mean that judgemental btw... maturity concerning many things does come with age. Might grate on ppl to hear that, but even when you are only 25 you understand that you are more mature than a 14 yrs old. At the same time, at 25 you are less mature than someone 45. Logical.

Anyways, ego-based 'battles' is not what a TF relationship is about. I really wonder if most aren't with a soulmate or Twinsoul (not the same as Flame) and are still purging to get ready for their TF. EVentually. Likely when they're a bit older, and wiser, and thus ready.

What exactly does being ready entail? How much work do we have to do before we can safely say "I am ready to meet my twin?" What age should that be? It sounds extremely linear to me, like 3D relationships. This is anything but. We don't manifest our twin in order to buy a house and raise a family with. They come to us exactly when we need them to.

I am very open with my twin and our communication is free flowing. I can say anything to her and she will listen to me. I don't have this with anyone else. But it took some work to get to that point. We still have blockages in communication, but I believe those can be solved through love and understanding. This isn't some Hollywood romance. We are not together, but we love each other.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

The result of all this is what you see on these forum boards: (mostly younger) ppl spreading a lot of negativity about TFs. I've never seen so much negativity as in this subforum on TFs. That fact alone means you aren't ready, because it means you don't understand what TFs are about. You take it personal that it hasn't happened to you (yet), that you got hurt in love etc. etc..

Funny, because I don't see this negativity. I see a few posters who are completely against TFs, but overall this sub-forum is quite open and understanding to new ideas.

For true toxicity, head on over to traditional relationship forums. People there are completely unable to fathom anything but society's definition of a real relationship.

Their advice?

-You have an internet boyfriend/girlfriend? That's not real.
-Your partner cheated on you? Dump their ungrateful behind to the curb.
-You have a soulmate? Are you kidding???
-The answer to all of your problems: work-out, go no contact and find someone new, then rinse and repeat ad nauseum...
-If nothing else works, seek professional help as you might have some kind of psychological disease that might require high dosages of anti-depressants.

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

Thank you for your view! Appreciated :)
There's one thing I'd like to comment on...



You do indeed have to embrace that part of self you don't like, don't see, try to hide etc. etc. You basically have to learn to embrace all of You. Not easy.
In a way that's also Shadow work (Jung) and developing your inner Animus (for women) or inner Anima (for men) so it becomes healthy and supportive.
You can also see it as embracing your inner Yang (women) or inner Yin (Men).

If you are able to do that, even partially, you are however still not whole in the sense of what TFs are about.
As a female with part inner masculine energy I can NEVER be Yang. Unless I become very very masculine, but then I'd lose my femininity...
So as an individual one may be whole (or need to work on becoming it), but then there's the next step: the TF who complements the you that is whole.
It's not filling in missing parts as you are whole. It's complementing what you are not, because you are Yin with a tiny bit of Yang.
In my case he truly is the Yang to my Yin. That means I can be even more 'me', even more whole, cos I can step fully into my Yin-with-tiny-bit-of-Yang. Meaning he makes me more whole as an individual.
Without him as a single, or in relationship with a more feminine energy man or a less fully mature/empowered man, I'd have to carry much of the masculine energies. Which is not me, because I am Yin. I can only truly be whole when I can be Yin. He allows me to do that, to step into my Yin strength, just because he is truly Yang.

That is something you can not achieve on your own.
THe part you're talking about is more the steps you have to go through before you are ready to meet your TF.
Quite logical; if you haven't embraced most of your Self, you aren't ready to accept, embrace and allow in the complement the TF brings you.
That would be like trying to put the 10th floor's penthouse on a foundation with all of the other floors missing still. It's impossible. Not advisable.

As for the 6 yr olds... I partially agree... Partially, as yes, the younger generation (children I mean) already have a higher vibration so for them it will be much easier when they're adults to achieve things that we had to work decades for. We prepped the way for them, that's why these higher vibr. children can now incarnate. Which is beautiful! True progress.
On the other hand side... Kids that age haven't gone through the hardships of life just yet. They're still mostly unscathed. They haven't lost lovers, don't have responsibility to make sure the bills get paid etc etc etc.
When I was 6, I was also carefree, and when you're carefree it's easy to be loving, respectful and so on. And I was also very wise, intuitive, clairvoyant, clairaudient. But there wasn't anyone in my environment who understood.
Not trying to pat me on the back, trying to explain that it's all relative.

Thank you FairyCrystal for your helpful thoughtful and respectful response to my post.

I think what I needed there was an explanation on what exactly a twinflame is, so you are right, in a way I was mixing things.
I am interested in twinflames for the reasons and descriptions you gave above. You talked of the masculine feminine aspect or the ying and yang which is something I feel I am working towards and need right now.

Only I get the yin and yang very confused myself so from here on will refer to the feminine as white and the masculine as black, mainly for my sanity's sake haha.

I feel myself very black these days very masculine, much unlike the white feminine being in which I am supposed to be and feel. I do not feel I am having trouble with the masculine aspect, it is sorta topsy turvy. I am female struggling with the softer more feminine aspects of myself. It doesn't help both my guides are male. In life and actuality I have few female friends who bother with me. I find this world very cold and harsh. Like many male or female would not bother to understand or even take a second look at me. It sounds mayhaps like something the young would think and feel and may seem childish to older individuals but for me these feelings of lack of friendships is hurtful and painful. I've struggled with illness depression, lack of faith and spiritual drought.

I do not feel very feminine and romantically I am interested in men, and I am trying to keep my old friendships alive and well, as well as form new ones. But it very difficult to try when others wouldn't fathom giving me a chance. The thing is, I haven't done anything to anyone, if anything I am very much too forgiving and too nice.

The twinflame issue confuses me. The only friends in real life/time terms who understands much more than I about the TF concept, is with whom she considers to be her TF. That's great. Fine. However she has written off the majority of her friends and others who care about her for some reason. She is dedicating herself to this male she considers her tf one month, and then she hates men and curses the man and accuses the man the next month. Really it isn't my business. But this is not just a friend I am concerned about, this is a human being, a spirit and therefore someone whom as a caring human being I care about. I don't get it. People describe the tf situation as a love-hate relationship scenario.

I agree with you that a certain level of self work must be done first. The thing is I have had very real very loving very tolerant and forgiving spiritual relationships with men that were very deep and that helped me along my path, but as the tf beliefs claim, I am not whole until I integrate my female and male aspects until I integrate or meet my Twinflame, and I am here to state with confidence in myself and my faith that no friend, lover, nemesis, demon, light being, karmic connection, soulmate twinflame or Satan himself, is going to divert me from my spiritual path. It is my duty, my gift, my service to humanity and my respectful service to God. I view my spiritual path as something I never wanted to walk to begin with, due to circumstance I am walking this path alone, This is my cross at this time to bear, and I will proudly walk my path alone in an effort to helps others, and no individual twinflame or not will sway or deter me. I have a purpose here in this life and in this world. This much I know and need no more proof of. With or without a lover- soul connection- twinflame what have you I am whole and complete as I like the rest of us am of God.

If I die alone without a mate I will be happy. Why? Because I was true to myself- and to my creator, and I will pass happily knowing I've reconciled what had to be reconciled.
We reap what we sow.

But, yes thank you for your post, and given me a clearer idea of what the twinflame relationship/ belief is, and as always I am interested to read/hear others views on this subject as well. Twinflames and age.

The best for you, and I am glad you have found a love that brings you happiness. For both you and your other half.

[FairyCrystal]

@ Delay Reaction... I sense a lot of anger, don't get why, but alas.
As for "too dumb and still a bit delusional?"... your words not mine.
I'm not up for a tit for tat discussion, I'm interested in respectful exchange.

@ SaturninePluto, thank you for your reply!
Learning and growing in your femininity takes time. I think it's always a work in progress anyways. Took me years to get my head around the concept even, and still is difficult at times to stay in feminine energy. Society is still very masculine, although it is changing, which doesn't always help...

Good luck to you as well! Oh, btw... Yin is black, not white. The masculine half is white. Easier to remember if you think of woman as mysterious as the night, which is dark.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

@ Delay Reaction... I sense a lot of anger, don't get why, but alas.
As for "too dumb and still a bit delusional?"... your words not mine.
I'm not up for a tit for tat discussion, I'm interested in respectful exchange.

No anger here. Was just relaying my two cents on the matter, since you brought up the idea of age, and I disagreed with it, that's all.

I don't know what other people are going through, I just know what I am going through, and from my experience, a lot of it mirrors what you have described about what you are going through with your TF. In my case, it took some time to get to a point when I could communicate openly with her and it wasn't all smooth sailing.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

No anger here. Was just relaying my two cents on the matter, since you brought up the idea of age, and I disagreed with it, that's all.

I don't know what other people are going through, I just know what I am going through, and from my experience, a lot of it mirrors what you have described about what you are going through with your TF. In my case, it took some time to get to a point when I could communicate openly with her and it wasn't all smooth sailing.

Glad to hear!
And no, it's not all smooth sailing. In my case with my current partner, communication has always been extremely good, which helped tremendously when things got/get triggered. Mostly in me because of my previous abusive relationship.
I do know in my case being able to communicate healthily is due to maturing, and thus also getting older. The two do go hand in hand, you cannot stop time as you learn (if only we could, grin). And sure, some learn at a younger age than others.
I wasn't able to do this yet in my first relationship yet (age 22-35). I hadn't done enough personal growth yet, still had to work my way through a lot of stuff.
I also think every younger generation could -not necessarily will, but could- get further at a younger age than the ones 'above' them simply because they are typically born with more 'options' already available to them. I think esp the Crystal children, now approx 10-12 yrs old I think, and Rainbows that followed the Crystals.

[jro5139]

I see some of your points about age but I specifically met my tf when I did to trigger my third eye opening, I mean that happened so I'm assuming it was supposed to happen when it did. I'm assuming there is a reason for it opening when it did but I don't know yet what that is. Also we met to awaken us both and the timing of that and other events in both our lives is really remarkable. So we might not have been ready to be together but it def happened when it did for a reason. I was 36 when I met him but he is a bit younger.

[bluebird21]

This subforum can be a drag, agreed. Also many awesome people I've connected with who share with honesty and positivity and vulnerability. So not all bad but I do notice I nearly always feel depleted after coming here so rarely here anymore. Honestly I'm over being into talking about TFs anyways.

It's all an ego attachment. Why do we need to label and conceptualize a beautiful connection between two people? Why must there be this BOND? I don't want to be spiritually bonded to anybody and want to fall in love with multiple different people.