What experiences led you to non-duality?

[FallingLeaves]

i remember being in a library at the U one time when I was young, trying to decide what direction to go in... and I thought, everyone is lost. In that moment I realized that even the most revered people, the ones with the 'bliss' everyone is seeking, are equally lost. Because, to my reasoning at the time, if anyone wasn't lost, they would have found a way to make this place less awful instead of just doing the same thing over and over for millenia with no results.

So I knew there is noone I could follow without myself remaining lost...

I tried reading books but there is a lot of hypocrisy and I didn't do too well. I also didn't like the transactional nature 'do this and you will get this'. I guess I knew instinctively from past lives that wouldn't work for me nowadays...

The ones I did read I took as mostly a how to about what not to do if you want to get anywhere.

I sort of got along with the tao te ching, lots of deep insight there, but, still lacking in some ways...

ive never been agreeable with buddhism, because, it basically outlawed suffering and for no apparent reason other than 'i want i want'. I need a better reason than that if i am going to accept outlawing a whole range of experience just on the say so of others (as I suspect others often lie to themselves and each other in the name of what they want lol). Because of that I usually resist attempts to get me to read about buddhism although I'll read comments in passing sometimes...

never been too interested in the other isms...

somewhere in all that my twin introduced me to god.

gradually I learned that he is the only one I want to follow, nowadays he makes a lot of sense even though I know noone would see it that way if I tried to explain how I actually see it. I'd probably get laughed out of the building lol... and it is just as well.

I sorta have a meditation that I found somewhere and a lot of the things I learn from god help me with that, prayer can help with that too... but I realize now I couldn't have gotten any of that from books...

meditating, i've sorta dabbled in experiences that are shall we say less dualistic than normal waking life and all that is how i got to that point; even so I'm not specifically seeking nondual experiences. Mostly at this point I am trying out living life without making long-term goals to run around after with my last dieing breath...

which means I don't get much of anywhere (because everyone knows you can't get anywhere without a Big Goal to guide you forward) but on the other hand people won't beat a path to a door that doesn't seem useful, so, silver linings abound...

[Maisy]

I like doing nothing and thinking about nothing. Just walking around outside on a sunny day. I like warm and sun and plants and trees. I talk to the crows I pass by if they don't fly away scared. Yesterday 3 crows flew pass me and then 3 sparrows were sitting near me on a fence. I'm waiting 3 days to see if something big happens on that day for me.

Having no goals or thoughts or worries or concerns seems "non-dual" to me.

[Apakhana Akshobhya]

Originally Posted by Maisy

I like doing nothing and thinking about nothing.

Lol perfect

As my Teacher has said "Ignore everything, even ignoring."
They were speaking of the state of correct view needed while maintaining intention.

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by Apakhana Akshobhya

As my Teacher has said "Ignore everything, even ignoring." They were speaking of the state of correct view needed while maintaining intention.

There are two things in these sentences. The one being told these things (the subject) and the action they are being told to do (the verb.)

You (subject) Ignore (verb or action the you does) But here the verb is a pretty deep thing. Here the subject is observed and transcended (that's the verb or action) which instantly results in liberation from mind and a new perspective. Consciousness (subject) has been changed. Also the action is not a doing so much as it is a realizing or understanding or seeing. The normal subject or the me or I is not the doer! The doer is awareness itself which is the true identity! There are two possible subjects, the me which sees or realizes it's true nature which is independent of the thought manufactured person or the me that identifies with the thought generated person as self.

I think that is what is being pointed to there in that clever saying. Because first it says ignore everything. That is pretty simple, I (subject) am being told to do something (action verb) in this case being told to ignore everything. But I am not really ignoring everything because the "I" is not being ignored and the "I" is of course a something so is included in the everything. So the teaching adds to "even ignore ignoring." That points directly at the subject the "I" or me. Who is ignoring? Well me. Yea throw that out too!

[FallingLeaves]

for me when I wanna do forgetting, it is like being awake but turning off a projector. Not identifying with my conceptions, expectations, desires that I think things are or should be. I can see a little more cleary when I do that as well, more details. It is especially fun when driving around because I can see things moving against each other rather than seeing the images around me as fixed... maybe in some ways it is more like crawling around on the ground than it is hopping about like a frog, you aren't taking pictures at odd intervals when you finally touch the ground lol...

but that kind of stillness still makes my head feel a little uncomfortable lol...