Is their a reason for this?

[WhiteWarrior]

Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness

Yes you hardships in this life do count for something. You don't go through it all just because you're a sadomasochist. Of course you get a gold star placed next to your name and all of your human/earthly emotions apart from love and bliss will be held in customs indefinitely until the next round.

Hehe. That is funny. I do believe there is a mark next to my name in the eternal ledgers, but I don't think it is a gold star.

[Heightend-Awareness]

Originally Posted by WhiteWarrior

Hehe. That is funny. I do believe there is a mark next to my name in the eternal ledgers, but I don't think it is a gold star.

Are you thinking brown smear...? That's disgusting

[Guff779]

Originally Posted by WhiteWarrior

Ah. Meaning. I know well the upbringing you describe and it has certainly contributed to shape me. To be honest? I HOPE there is no meaning to the hardships we experience in life other than what we find in them ourselves. If some of the things I have experienced first hand have been programmed into my life, I am going to be very very angry with the administration once I get to the other side. That doesn't mean I think nothing in what happens in life want meant to happen, but I definitely do not think every single second of everything that happens on the planet is running on some kind of schedule.

Bad things happened and will keep on happening, because clearly there is no mechanism in place to stop them. Best we can do try to find a way out and away from them and get somewhere better. Coping is to me the wrong direction, because it means you try to get used to the bad situation.

If you want a social life in the real world you need to find a setting that works for you. Parties not your thing? Join a roleplay group. Or an art class. Go weekly to cozy stores where you can smile or nod to the same shopkeeper every time. Church not your thing? Find a coven. There's millions of people in exactly your situation. I should know, I am one of them. I have lived much social time in groups where I was related to noone, we just had some common interests and focuses.

Thank you.

Believe me I have tried. how hard I worked, how much self improvement I have done other the years and I had to go to guru's, psychics to ask answers as to why things are blocked, why it just doesn't happen for me.

The experiences and the things I desire just do not materialise or come into my experience for a long, long time.

I do not understand however I keep having dreams of women I desire kissing me and holding their hands and nice visions of women too which I've never had before.

I know recently the last 2 times I went out the universe did put what I desired into my experience, maybe things are changing. Maybe when things got the most toughest and brutal the things I desired manifest.

[Heightend-Awareness]

Originally Posted by Guff779

Thank you.

Believe me I have tried. how hard I worked, how much self improvement I have done other the years and I had to go to guru's, psychics to ask answers as to why things are blocked, why it just doesn't happen for me.

The experiences and the things I desire just do not materialise or come into my experience for a long, long time.

I do not understand however I keep having dreams of women I desire kissing me and holding their hands and nice visions of women too which I've never had before.

I know recently the last 2 times I went out the universe did put what I desired into my experience, maybe things are changing. Maybe when things got the most toughest and brutal the things I desired manifest.

Guff...
Don't be so hard on yourself. Everything happens for a reason. What that reason is, is unknown by many. Have you considered that what you are trying to manifest in your life might be how you're asking your question to the universe? You can't expect any of your desires if you don't speak the language the universe understands. That is you can't ask for it like you ask someone for the time of day. You need 3 things in the combination. your mind (thought), Heart(intent) and feeling as if it is or has happened. Get this combination right and be prepared for the floodgates to open. Be careful of what you wish for, as it comes back at you 3 times as much. Be genuine and honest a don't make it too complicated and be specific. The universe can have a twisted sense of humour.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Guff779

Thank you.

Believe me I have tried. how hard I worked, how much self improvement I have done other the years and I had to go to guru's, psychics to ask answers as to why things are blocked, why it just doesn't happen for me.

The experiences and the things I desire just do not materialise or come into my experience for a long, long time.

I do not understand however I keep having dreams of women I desire kissing me and holding their hands and nice visions of women too which I've never had before.

I know recently the last 2 times I went out the universe did put what I desired into my experience, maybe things are changing. Maybe when things got the most toughest and brutal the things I desired manifest.

what is your goal in life? What do you want to become? Let's start there. It seems your starting from the middle, it's hard to help if you don't start from the beginning and knowing what your end goal is

[Guff779]

Thank you guys, I really appreciate your feedback and thanks for the support. I think my emotions may be distorted due to life experiences. I'm sorry for this post.

As you've read in other threads, I have been treated very badly by uncles, cousin and they bullied me quite badly to the point, they are sly, manipulative and are trying to ruin my dignity. They do not wish to listen or acknowledge anything. I am forgetting that.

I've also wished and I think its opening now, I did wish for friendships with women and it just didn't manifest or come into my experience for years and I did try. However I have got my confidence up. I do sense it is materialising now.

I am trying to move on, however I have issues about my father who also wish to listen and the uncles also sense his negativity and take advantage of it. I wish to quit my job and my father who quit his job, he has some money coming in, he has two major savings bank accounts, he will get pension money in the future and he just says we are finished, where get money from, just watch when winter comes and he has no faith in me despite a good track record. He just isn't willing to listen. And I pay for things now and will in the future.

He is fine now and will be in the future. He is telling me not to quit my job when I have other things going on and say where get money from when we both have money and will have. Am I suddenly going to stay in bed for the rest of my life?

He cannot even wait for 1 week.

I am moving on.

[Heightend-Awareness]

Originally Posted by Guff779

Thank you guys, I really appreciate your feedback and thanks for the support. I think my emotions may be distorted due to life experiences. I'm sorry for this post.

As you've read in other threads, I have been treated very badly by uncles, cousin and they bullied me quite badly to the point, they are sly, manipulative and are trying to ruin my dignity. They do not wish to listen or acknowledge anything. I am forgetting that.

I've also wished and I think its opening now, I did wish for friendships with women and it just didn't manifest or come into my experience for years and I did try. However I have got my confidence up. I do sense it is materialising now.

I am trying to move on, however, I have issues about my father who also wish to listen and the uncles also sense his negativity and take advantage of it. I wish to quit my job and my father who quit his job, he has some money coming in, he has two major savings bank accounts, he will get pension money in the future and he just says we are finished, where get money from, just watch when winter comes and he has no faith in me despite a good track record. He just isn't willing to listen. And I pay for things now and will in the future.

He is fine now and will be in the future. He is telling me not to quit my job when I have other things going on and say where get money from when we both have money and will have. Am I suddenly going to stay in bed for the rest of my life?

He cannot even wait for 1 week.

I am moving on.

Remove yourself from toxic relationships
Hmmmm.... money is always going to be the kicker. That is part of the mouse trap. Get creative, don't rely on others(employers) to feed you, feed yourself. What are you passionate about, good at. Create something that people need. (Money doesn't count)

Keep your chin up, be positive and optimistic. If you are the opposite, this is what you will attract into you life. Stand up and take controll of your life. don't let life control you. We are consciousness with limitless possibilties, we can do anything, ANYTHING! When we put our heart and minds to it.

[Guff779]

Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness

Remove yourself from toxic relationships
Hmmmm.... money is always going to be the kicker. That is part of the mouse trap. Get creative, don't rely on others(employers) to feed you, feed yourself. What are you passionate about, good at. Create something that people need. (Money doesn't count)

Keep your chin up, be positive and optimistic. If you are the opposite, this is what you will attract into you life. Stand up and take controll of your life. don't let life control you. We are consciousness with limitless possibilties, we can do anything, ANYTHING! When we put our heart and minds to it.

Thank you very much, I really appreciate this.

I will cut my relatives off. They just take digs, make fun without even knowing me for no reason and they have been very cruel.

I do have this sadness from day after day emotion, I would go around the world to psychics, mystics asking why just the experience of having women in my life, the friendships if I'm honest, someone to talk to just did not materialise or manifest or just happen for years when it happens to so many.

As you said, I need to be positive and optimistic as my negative mood could be attracting the same in my life.

[Heightend-Awareness]

Originally Posted by Guff779

Thank you very much, I really appreciate this.

I will cut my relatives off. They just take digs, make fun without even knowing me for no reason and they have been very cruel.

I do have this sadness from day after day emotion, I would go around the world to psychics, mystics asking why just the experience of having women in my life, the friendships if I'm honest, someone to talk to just did not materialise or manifest or just happen for years when it happens to so many.

As you said, I need to be positive and optimistic as my negative mood could be attracting the same in my life.

I'll tell you my story of how I met my wife. I was about 23-24 when I was getting clucky to be some woman's husband. I met a girl while serving in the military. A very hot and heavy relationship if you know what I mean. We were at it for around 12mths and I had to be deployed to Malaysia for 4mths. During this time away my bank account was hemorrhaging by her and she was being serviced by others while I was away. She told me it was over on the phone, should have seen it coming. I thought I would keep her around as an acquaintance, as she would know of and have other female friends. The dividends paid off. She introduced me to my now wife which I quickly told her what my ex was truly like. The most bizarre thing is I never saw a picture of her. Only a vague description. I kept picturing what she would look like in my mind. Like a lucid dreaming experience. I fell on my a$$ when we finally met. She was exactly how I pictured her. 23 years later(25yrs if you count the courting and engagement)two children. Still happily married and hot for each other I remember the days when I was asking the universe to send me and angel. I certainly did. Here is a song from my past that you may appreciate. Listen to the lyrics carefully. You'll know what I mean. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R6WIbx8ysE