I had the best talk with my connection last night! I feel so full of love, joy and light today! First we had an amazing weekend with our daughter's bday and all. He was really open and more like himself than ever. He's been very playful, touchy/feely the last few times we've seen each other and I love that. Then last night he said he wanted to keep me updated and in the loop that he was going to look for his own place today and hopes to move to an apt. by next week and that it will probably be a very displaced, hard time for him in many ways, but part of it will be the breaking up with/leaving his gf's place and he doesn't anticipate that going well at all. What was so wonderful about him getting his own place was that he said he just needs some space, his own space, to deal and look at and fix his issues, know what he wants and where to go from here, all alone! I cannot tell you how huge this is! I've known for a while these exact words and things, but he's barely ever said it, so this is such a big step for him. We also talked some about his dad's death and such that was a big turning point for us, closing off of him, etc. and we've not ever talked about it and how it's effected him and things! He said he could see how great I've done in my own space and getting myself together, figured out, so he knows I get it. I offered to help in any way I can if he needs a place to crash in transition or if he does get a place but gets in over his head and I rushed across the room and just hugged him long and tight at one point and we hugged a few more times this evening. I wished him luck and said I'm here for him always and I would put all the best wishes and intentions out for him as I always do and how great I think this is for him.
And the really great, best part to me is that I hold no illusions or expectations that this means well ok, then he and I can get back together romantically, reunion time! If it helps, works out in our favor with things he works on, super. But if he clears out everything, figures out things, but in this lifetime best friendship/co-parenting is all we need to be to one another, that is also equally as super! I just want what is best for him and makes him happy, no matter and whatever that is! This all just makes me happy for him because it is needed for him alone. I have hated seeing the pain in and around him for so very long, too long and knowing I couldn't do anything for him because it was something he had to learn and do himself. I saw his eyes be the color I know is pure joy and happiness for him last night and I haven't seen them be that clear or really change much at all since separating over 2 years ago! If this same scenario would have happened, played out a year ago or even a few months ago, I know i wouldn't and couldn't have said the same thing. I just feel so blessed over that and all of this! Sorry for all the !!!!! but it's how I express pure excitement and joy on here.
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