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21-02-2024, 01:41 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,385
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well so im paranoid
what else is new
lol
i probably ought to be
shivering in my boots
with all the crazy stuff i said
i guess
i tired though
of being too scared
to be expressive
so
guess i just get to be scared
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i wish sometimes
she actually liked me
but i just can't believe that
any more...
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26-02-2024, 11:44 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,385
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well
getting used to
just being real
instead
of trying to reach
some unattainable something
slowly but nice...
i did realize though
i wasn't paying enough attention
I'm working on that a little
now
as i remember
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lonelineness hitting
a little hard now
though
as
I'm not entertaing the idea
that someone might actually like me
now
and now
i can't even let myself
entertain
the idea
that if I were female
all my problems would go away.
It wouldn't change a thing
with noone actually liking me
I guess...
another reason
I'm glad
I didn't pin my hopes on
that kind of
better tomorrow.
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04-03-2024, 01:09 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,385
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i hate it
when you
push my buttons
it just shows
how much
you don't care
but I guess
I had no business
supposing you did
anyway
I should know better
by now.
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19-03-2024, 12:06 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,385
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well as awful as it has been
between him
and each random girl
he used to suppose
somehow
magically
the problems would go away
and he could be with someone.
now he supposes
the problems will never go away
and he'll never be with anyone.
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19-03-2024, 12:15 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,385
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he doesn't really
want to be a girl
any more
either...
not that the idea isn't nice
just
it just seems like
yet another dream
that can never actually be reached.
And he's tired of trying to get to things
he should have just had
all along
much better now
just to do without.
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