False twin flame... what to do about it...

[dragoness_crysta]

For quite some time now I have been researching in my free time the concept of twin flame, because since 2020 it became a sudden urge... and the constant feeling that I am expecting someone...

I also have read a lot about twin flames in this forum, the stories of other people and more than half of those, talk about desperation and how it is difficult for them to cope with their TF. Also they consume a lot of their time pondering over things that *may* have destroyed their chances at being with their twin flame.

After my own very recent experience which I can also describe as karmik given the dates and the events that unfolded, I would like to contribute to this community by talking about the false twin flame a little bit more and hopefully taking some of you out of desperation.

During 2020 I was feeling that I would meet someon at some point the next year... Lo and behold early January of 2021 I met what I then though was my TF... the connection was instant, there were sparks and we fell into DEEP conversations in subjects like history, religion, spirituality, humanity e.t.c. He checked all the choices of meeting your twin flame and I thought that my prayers had finally been answered.

I had never had conversations with another person before... nor the
sexual chemistry that felt like an errapting volcano... He felt like... home...

The first 6-8 months were dreamy... we were like a real couple, committed to one another and doing things together as often as he could come see me (he is a scientist and travels a lot...)

I communicated with him on a level that I never had before and all my previous relationships felt like shadows compared to what I had with him...

During that time, he would ask me to do sth computer science stuff for him, because he was not a pc-oriented person and needed help. I indulged every time and went above and beyond...

After those 8 months, his visits would be more and more rare... also the thought of me visiting him was out of the question because he would travel often and would move from place to place...

Even though we were honest from the start (at least from my part), I started sensing that he was hiding something... he became more and more distant...

The more time passed, he would tell me a few words of love, ask me to help him with his computer and research, but never talked about coming to see me.

Our common friends never uttered a word so I thought that everything was fine, just that he was busy... All this was transpiring from the second half of 2021 until 2022.

Then my father was admitted gravely ill at the hospital... I was suffering and he was not there... and then my father died at the hospital under suspicious conditions and half the world fell apart for me.... and he could not come because he was "busy"... But I kept waiting hoping that it was a twin flame separation phase that would eventually stop and we would be reunited...

Alas, on my late father's nameday, I found out from our common friends that he was cheating on me for the past year and a half, not with one, not with two, but with 4 different women scattered around the country. I took it as a sign that my father's soul, in the plain that he is now, saw A LOT of things that were wrong and saved me by gently knudging our friends to tell me about my ex.

Needless to say, this was the final straw in my bucket of misery and my world fell apart as a whole... I tried hiding it and pretend that I didnt know for half a day... and I felt my soul getting literally sick...

I wrote him a letter telling him that I know and that I am ending everything... and urging him to leave me alone, send my things back (he had my home keys) and never talk to me again...

He simply disappeared with a false promise, and never returned my belongings... Didn't even say condolences for my father whom he had met in person.

Then I started reading about the fake twin flames...

And his behavior checked the following:

1. He showed me his "love" in writing and only certain times. Or else I was conditionally loved... just a little every time to keep me hooked.
2. Conversations had become very very shallow which was irritating for me, because I longed those deep talks that we had.
3. After a while, I didn't feel comfortable around him, because I sensed he was hiding sth from me.
4. He stopped looking at me in the eyes when he was at my house.
5. He was gradually slipping away.
6. I ALWAYS gave whatever expertise and energy I had. And whenever I asked of sth simple, the answer would be "Ok, I will do it later"....
7. Did not feel supported in my most difficult times and come to think of it, even with my best praises at work, he would say just a simple bravo...
8. He stopped confiding in me as if I was not the right person anymore... and I was confiding everything to him because I trusted him even from a distance.
9. I felt that the relationship was not going anywhere anymore...
10. He left me feeling anxious after our talks.
11. He kept me guessing whether he wants to be with me
12. It didn't feel like a partnership anymore...

There are other indicators too...

But the bottom line is this...

If for whatever reason, you feel it in your gut (initially) that the person you are is your twin flame but as time passes, you feel them distancing themselves in some way and you do not feel whole with them anymore (as a couple that complements each other), then quite possible you have met your fake twin flame...

what was devastating for me, was that I am experiencing a spiritual awakening but my darkest moments with the death of my father I felt completely alone...

the best thing you can do in this situation, is NOT ponder over anything, CUT all ties as quickly as possible and do not look back for any reason... they have already done the same, so you do not need to grasp onto something that isn't there...

As far as I've read a false twin flame can never turn into a true twin flame. And it was a preparation phase to meet your true twin flame.

Distance yourself, throw away any items that belonged to them, and stay with yourself or the people that are there for you (friends or family)... the healing period will take as long as it takes and you need it the same way an injured person recuperates after e.x. breaking a leg... no one has the right to tell you how much time you should take....

At first it's going to hurt like hell... but eventually you are going to sense your soul getting stronger, and you will be more decisive and more awakened for your next encounter...

You will also find out, that if you have your physical health, you have a roof over your head, work and have something to eat, then you have more than enough to brace yourself and continue your awakening journey...

noone said that it would be easy...

but fake twin flames exist too... in the end, we should only give them as much attention as they gave us... there are other people out there that can enlighten our path and for those lucky enough their twin flame is waiting around the corner in this lifetime... for the rest, we can be happy that we will have made the steps to meet our TF(hopeful) in the next one...

Do not waist your time... with ifs and whys...do a retrospect, find your faults and try to correct them next time!!!

With love and compassion
Crysta

P.S. Indicative sources below for those that want to look into it more

https://www.marriage.com/advice/rela...n-flame-signs/
https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-n...-relationship/
https://www.coaching-online.org/fals...l_ Twin_Flame
https://twinflamesly.com/false-twin-flame/

[lostsoul13]

Wow, what a story: if they didn’t come from your spirit ~ then you would never know if it’s a true twin flame.. the future is long- you have to stand the rest of time imo. Well done for being brave and having the strength to carry on after you loss- condolences…

[lonewolf]

Condolences for your father. Its really sad that he passed away. Don't waste time thinking about a confirmed cheater.. I Hope you will find love soon and be happy again.

Never feel alone your fathers spirit and God are protecting you from above.

[lamb1]

The more I read about False TF the more I am sure mine is not false. As I consider this relation is that it shows me everything that is not resolved in me. And I think those are not big things like terrible traumas, but small complexes, things I am ashamed of even though there is no reason to be ashamed like being ashame that I have no friends/I'm so called no-life person. This is not a reason to be ashamed, really ;/ And that I am not so pretty not so talented and so on. This is normal, but here is where I lack of self-love. Constant need to impress and prove to others and to myself that I deserve and am precious even though I am not attractive, not talented in any way and so on. This is not a reason to not love me, for christ sake! And I feel that I lose in this test to love myself unconditionally. I had all the time expectations toward him to give me love and give it and give it and when he ideed was giving it to me it was too small to me and I was not aware that it is real and pure and was all the time expecting something, that he will be in some way and... meeeehhh. I need to write it down, I need to be heard. After some time it all ****ed up to such extent that I do not have any hope (oh, maybe ALMOST any) that we can create anything togheter in this lifetime and I do not think that this is one of a lifetimes, this is my lifetime and this is the only one, this is enough, I reject the thinking that there will be some lifetime that I will be ready or something will happen, this is not wise thinking and in fact I think dangerous,

och och, so much anger... ;( i am releasing it <3

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by lamb1

The more I read about False TF the more I am sure mine is not false. As I consider this relation is that it shows me everything that is not resolved in me. And I think those are not big things like terrible traumas, but small complexes, things I am ashamed of even though there is no reason to be ashamed like being ashame that I have no friends/I'm so called no-life person. This is not a reason to be ashamed, really ;/ And that I am not so pretty not so talented and so on. This is normal, but here is where I lack of self-love. Constant need to impress and prove to others and to myself that I deserve and am precious even though I am not attractive, not talented in any way and so on. This is not a reason to not love me, for christ sake! And I feel that I lose in this test to love myself unconditionally. I had all the time expectations toward him to give me love and give it and give it and when he ideed was giving it to me it was too small to me and I was not aware that it is real and pure and was all the time expecting something, that he will be in some way and... meeeehhh. I need to write it down, I need to be heard. After some time it all ****ed up to such extent that I do not have any hope (oh, maybe ALMOST any) that we can create anything togheter in this lifetime and I do not think that this is one of a lifetimes, this is my lifetime and this is the only one, this is enough, I reject the thinking that there will be some lifetime that I will be ready or something will happen, this is not wise thinking and in fact I think dangerous,

och och, so much anger... ;( i am releasing it <3

If you think you are not pretty.. Or have no life. Or anything negative about yourself. That is what you are going to attract you. Over and over. Those who are going to use you, and prove to you, that there is something wrong with me. Then when you do finally find a love that loves you.. You will reject it. As being unworthy.

That is the struggle of the twin flame journey for most. They cannot accept such a love. It scares them as it reveals so much about themselves that they did not see or know. It triggers those wounds to be healed. But through all those triggers. Through all of that hurt, and running, and feeling rejected abandoned. They love for them. Is still there. It does not change or alter.... Not to be confused with those who "think they know what love is." Twin flame relationships are the guiding force that teaches about love...

Yet most do not know what love is, and so they get lost in the storm.



Most people, if I am honest, have not met their twin flames. They have met karmic partners, and then they end up with a bad taste in their mouth. Twin flames are a person who is our greatest teacher that we will ever have. That is how you will know if you've met yours. Because through them, they knock down walls, and teach us so much about ourselves that we grow be leaps and bounds. False twin flames do not do this. They just break us down, and leave us in a puddle of mess and goo.

Twin flames also don't maliciously hurt us, or purposely attempt to do so. They can't. That's not to say, that they don't act out of being triggered and say something they didn't truly mean in that moment of pain. Or even that they did something to cause a reaction because they were hurt by the trigger. The emotions and intensity of the connection can make a person act irrationally. Especially when their is imbalance within themselves and within the relationship.

[Mora321]

It seems to me that Existence is quite complex with various beneficial and adverse parties attempting to manage Earth humans.

There seem to be 2 local reasons for systematic oppression of Earth humans:

- Earth humans have a spiritual antenna structure that when properly refined resonates with galactic Intent. The adverse entities wish to keep Earth humans ignorant of the authority can be delegated to them.

- This planet allegedly is next to an important inter-galactic node used for trade etc by adverse entities that wish to continue to have access.

Non-local reasons are more difficult to plumb. Close to where I live are energy structures that might be called Cosmic Seeds. The seeds seem to receive energy patterns from outside this universe.

It could be that trans-universal intelligences are doing some gardening experiments on/in this planet and that what Earth humans call Cosmic Evil has a contrary interest.

[lamb1]

Originally Posted by innerlight

If you think you are not pretty.. Or have no life. Or anything negative about yourself. That is what you are going to attract you. Over and over. Those who are going to use you, and prove to you, that there is something wrong with me. Then when you do finally find a love that loves you.. You will reject it. As being unworthy.

That is the struggle of the twin flame journey for most. They cannot accept such a love. It scares them as it reveals so much about themselves that they did not see or know. It triggers those wounds to be healed. But through all those triggers. Through all of that hurt, and running, and feeling rejected abandoned. They love for them. Is still there. It does not change or alter.... Not to be confused with those who "think they know what love is." Twin flame relationships are the guiding force that teaches about love...

Yet most do not know what love is, and so they get lost in the storm.



Most people, if I am honest, have not met their twin flames. They have met karmic partners, and then they end up with a bad taste in their mouth. Twin flames are a person who is our greatest teacher that we will ever have. That is how you will know if you've met yours. Because through them, they knock down walls, and teach us so much about ourselves that we grow be leaps and bounds. False twin flames do not do this. They just break us down, and leave us in a puddle of mess and goo.

Twin flames also don't maliciously hurt us, or purposely attempt to do so. They can't. That's not to say, that they don't act out of being triggered and say something they didn't truly mean in that moment of pain. Or even that they did something to cause a reaction because they were hurt by the trigger. The emotions and intensity of the connection can make a person act irrationally. Especially when their is imbalance within themselves and within the relationship.

How to love myslef then, the way i am, wrrrr :/ yes, all the wounds came up to the surface, many mistakes and stupidity, for sure i learnt a lot from this relationship im for sure in much different place than i were and it is much better, i feel like i am waking up, well. but still this pain in chest, i stopped even noticing it aaaa :O
and a lot of fear. i dont know about this twin flame, and it is not imporant. what i know, is that wow. im just tired afraid scattered and, to be honest, i feel like, maybe you remember the game "Prince of Persia" when at the end the main character is fighting with his own reflection. And eventually he gives up and put down the sword and the opponent is doing the same. I feel like there, but am still fighting.

thank you innerlight.

[innerlight]

Well, your quote in your signature sums up the journey of the twinflame. It is in teaching us, to let go of the barriers to love. So we can surrender to unconditional love. That is our journey with our twin. They are our reflections helping us to shed the barriers that we have erected to that love.

When you look at your wording, "mistakes and stupidity." Those are negative and disparaging. They are also subconscious ways of putting yourself down, and lowering your self esteem. They lead to things like, I am dumb. I am a screw up. Etc. As we shift through our wounds, and through our conditioning we can better navigate ourselves with grace and forgiveness. We then expand our horizons, and views, and see that each thing we go through in an experience that we chose to have in the moment. Good and bad, is irrelevant. It shows us, what we enjoy and what we may want to improve upon if we felt that something could have gone a way that wasn't something that lifted us up.

The journey with a twin helps us to grow in such a way. Now, it doesn't always have to be a twin that can help us grow like that. Other connections can be powerful tools of growth and change. From soul mates, to karmic partners, to even false twin flames.

It just happens that when you are faced with a mirror that is going through the opposite of what you are going through, while also similar to what you are going through, it can have such a powerful reaction that triggers the deepest wounds within. As love, deep profound love does that. It reveals so much within us that we didn't even know existed. That, can be so scary that most run from it. And the other is left bewildered trying to chase the things that they had missing within them, that are reflected to them from the one who mirrored them.

All helping to find all of that within us first and foremost. The twin is just the mirror to show us that reflection.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by lamb1

Constant need to impress and prove to others and to myself that I deserve and am precious even though I am not attractive, not talented in any way and so on. This is not a reason to not love me, for christ sake!

I was in the same boat, constantly trying to prove myself to myself and others. It was and still is rare for people to notice me in a positive way and I thought I had to help them. That was a big mistake though... but still, much harder to honestly have a sense of self worth despite what is going on around me than try to convince others to bolster it for me i guess... without God I would be lost as the latter never works out for me no matter what I wanna try lol!

Anyway, you once said something nice to me in response to something I said to you, and that didn't go unnoticed. In the years since, I always remember that whenever I see you posting... personally, I find you precious because you were kind enough to grant me that moment.

I never said thank you, so, thank you!

[lamb1]

Thanks, FallingLeaves. I remember you from past time, it is for me now not like ages but like lifetimes and I remember only that I felt you are a good nice authentic soul. So I could wrote something nice indeed. Anyway, thank you, you cheered me up.