Shadow Work Thread

[saurab]

Originally Posted by lamb1

When you notice you feel self-pity - ask yourself what core belief is underneath this feeling?

the core belief is one of resignation instead of surrender. when you feel self pity you are feeling helpless and hopeless. you cant take life as it is any more.

individual experiences may vary but the above may be present almost always.

[lamb1]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I first heard the term here. I guess, then you are to feeeel your way through the uncomfortable feeling
of seeing a darker side of yourself. Right?
Therapists love that; its part of the training.

While someone like Abraham-Hicks just says drop all that and focus on the good feeling of feeling good...
similar to seeiing something scary on TV...you dont stay there
if its awful....you change to something lighter....ahhh. :)
Always choices,

Hi. Yes, I see your point, but if I won't admit that I have trauma and some feelings of mine are indicators of it, I ll live in a lie. I was trying to be super positive and appreciate all I have, but after some time I find myself in a place where amount of hidden anger that's inside of me becomes unbearable and I cannot deny it. So Im choosing truth over lie even the most sweet. My truth is that I m hurt and I bleed. I want to take care of that.

[lamb1]

Originally Posted by saurab

the core belief is one of resignation instead of surrender. when you feel self pity you are feeling helpless and hopeless. you cant take life as it is any more.

individual experiences may vary but the above may be present almost always.

Yes, this is exactly what I feel. So, you re writing surrender... I'll think about it

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi lamb, I used to have anger, oh my!
I was taught to get it out...like letting off steam.
There are diff ways..screaming into a pillow, some therapists have a foam bat to hit a floor pillow
as you picture the person you are mad at.
One therapist told me to relax, breathe and picture the ones i was angry with (parents for me).
Now, do or say anything to them...you could shoot them, scream at them whatever you need to!

Get it out of you safely. Worked.
Apparently, it, also, reprograms the subconscious mind that you are no longer a victim!

[lamb1]

Yes, but you know what is interesting, that I suppose it is there but I don't feel it, like if I was denying it because it's too bad. I know this comes from childhood, where I was not allowed to feel and express my emotions. Right now as I'm a big girl now I want to process it slowly but to reconnect with it, the shadow work is something that helps me.
For example I Ask myself: what does my inner child needs to hear? And you know what I found out it needs to hear? (Btw it took me few days or weeks to find that out!) 1. I'm sorry. 2. Brawo (congratulations) :) now they are surfacing even more of the words that my inner child is waiting for!

Thank you for your comment. It gives me inspiration and faith, that it all can change and go in the good, positive and calm direction! <3

[FallingLeaves]

lamb- Yes I could see why you think I'm insensitive and don't listen but really it was a failure on both sides... we aren't compatible in the ways we each need to communicate I suppose...

from my point of view it is like usual, you didn't say much of anything and then expected me to respond saliently? At that point I feel like I'm left to my own devices so I just start talking randomly, but to be honest, I hate being in that position and always have. It is just that, what am I supposed to do when the other person isn't forthcoming and I have to be guessing what they mean and reading between the lines? Only to find out in the end I have no clue what the other person means after all?

It is even worse with the language difference...

FWIW from my point of view I did try to draw you out and get some idea where you were coming from, and more than once at that, but I felt like you shut me down immediately each time. I get that you are going through lots of 'stuff' but still, I have my own problems too, I'm no miracle worker....

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi, could you two work out your stuff in PMs, please. Thanks and hope all goes well!