I think I may be evil...

[Shari]

In my dreams, I am always in a different location, but it is outside. Sometimes it's the day, sometimes dark. I am always around people that are afraid of me. I don't recognize most of them, but they keep telling me I am evil. I agree with them in the dream. I feel evil and powerful. I want to show them just how much power that I have, and I start to feel this incredible energy (I'm still dreaming) and whatever they see me scares them and they all start running away and I am left alone and feeling lonely now. The dream changes emotionally then, and I don't feel evil anymore. I am back to my own self. Sometimes it has sexual elements of power too, but it's not perverted or anything like that... Then the dream is usually over or it ends while I am looking for my mother or someone I can be near. These past months of dreams have been very emotional for me. I had a very serious spiritual emergence two summers ago that lasted 124 days, dark night of the soul and all. While I was experiencing all of that, I heard voices that told me that this is the first incarnation where I've never killed anyone. They say I have lived many lives, and have committed many atrocities and sick, vile things to others. I have no recollections to doing any of those things, and they said it doesn't matter, I still share the same soul, so I will have to ablidge accordingly for the sick things I am apparently responsible for. I didn't believe them at first, but then the dreams began happening, and now I don't know what to think about myself. I am scared and totally lost, especially today. Any advice?

[inavalan]

All is caused by your beliefs and expectations, conscious and unconscious.

Even if you did something abominable in your past lives, what you experience now is caused only by your current beliefs and expectations, not by your past actions.

You can get rid of all of that by suspending, then replacing your detrimental beliefs. The best way, in my opinion, is to use your preferred way of getting into altered states of consciousness (meditation, prayer, lucid dreaming, hypnosis, ...) and learn to access your inner guidance.

[wstein]

Seems to me that you are assuming WAY too much.

These are some thoughts to consider:
-people telling you are 'evil' (or anything else) does not imply you are such, only that they view you as such. In other words, that is their judgement not your reality.

-Being fearful of your own vast power/capability is a common examination in many people's spiritual journey. As most start believing themselves to be very limited physical human beings, the prospect of being divine to some degree has vast and hard to reconcile implications. The most pressing is usually that you are way more responsible for you being in the current situation than you ever fathomed could be possible.

-your dream imagery of "someone I can be near" suggests you feel alone in dealing with your difficult situation.

-those 'voices' telling you unpleasant things might be other parts of yourself, some guidance trying to be helpful, or some annoying astral parasites trying to feed on you.

-It is often helpful, even necessary, to live THIS life while you are in it and let those other incarnations of yourself do the same. For those whose veil between incarnations is 'thin', that can be challenging at times.

I think low leves are playing with you, you experiences voices, messages like that, ignore them, you have free will and no side can take that away from you. What ever the deal it is who you chose to be now that matters. Thoughts are very powerful. Could be past life fragments in those dreams, could not. Can also be what has been incorrectly interpret by your current self to how it was before.

History has been filled with wars and I am sure close to everyone if not everyone has in one life or the other or lots of them been in situations where it was either to be killed or to kill, especially I'm thinking the males.

We can all access all sorts of feelings and be those feelings for the present moment, but even so we always have free will and can stop ourselves. I've had astral traveling dream where I had my sword and was filled with negative feelings and was about to take that sword and cut the throat of someone I know in real life, where I got to be so aware all of a sudden and I didn't. Not that I think me doing that would have made any difference, but still. I only made that sword for protection, and don't want blood on it, even if it is then just astral-blood, pretend-blood. These things happen when I swift from being subconscious to conscious. I think our higher self will warn us but the choice is always ours, we are never victims.

I have experienced and I rarely wish to speak of this as I usually never hear stuff, but voice from someone low level? telling me all sorts of things, but I would have no shield then, fever or not well, I did not tell anyone but a medium sensed very much so it's presence and what it was doing. It was a crazy time and just like my other experiences, but experiences of light, I am always critical afterwards if those things really did happen.

I used to think and it worked that there has to be a limit for the low levels, how far they can get on their own without my collaboration, and it was. Again and again it has been.

I believe they can get into your dreams, they can also show you something and then twist it and then in real life you will encounter something that you think is highly unlikely happening as it was too in the dream. I think it is their way of trying to fool you that they are sooooo powerful they can get into your reality and impact people, play people, go through people when they are then relaxed or play on one of their feelings, to do what they like, for you or against you. I remember thinking if you are so powerful how come you haven't killed me already? But I did not communicate that with them, I never communicated, they tried or that special someone did try, but I never answered, I would pretend I did not hear it.

I think there is hierarchy in the negative, low level heavens? like there is a difference on this earth for example from low scums to bad boys. And the low levels are to me the low scums.

I don't know if you have some trauma in your past, may be you don't even look at it as trauma, and it is close to impossible to go through life without any sort of pain. The thing is to deal with it the right way. So if you have had anxiety or phobia about something good to adress that because they work through fear, but you yourself is very powerful. With that said I can't help but notice I have too been protected (but why?) by being/s I can't say if they are good or bad but I would lean more towards the bad but maybe that is how they have to come across if they are gonna play it down under????? I really don't know. Or they have embraced these negative feelings but it don't mean they are bad?????

Have you been told you are bad or believed you are bad during your childhood? Could be something like that maybe, maybe a fear you have? As for me my mom wanted to dominate and I was more difficult to dominate than few others at the time. She would tell me I was bad like my dad (who was no longer in the picture but he and I later bonded).

"I think, therefore I AM" and "You are what you think, what you believe" are things to ponder on here. You are no more evil than anyone else. However, it is possible to believe and to think whatever you wish to feel and think. Change that and you change everything. When one piece of the puzzle is changed, the entire puzzle changes and becomes a different puzzle, a different picture.

[Traveler]

Focus on your present incarnation and not the past. The dreams may be dredging up past lives so you can heal them. And the fact that they are coming to the surface probably means you are ready to deal with them.

There is a deep and powerful Hawaiian prayer called “Ho’oponopono” and it goes like this:

“I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”
https://graceandlightness.com/hoopon...r-forgiveness/

When you have dreams like this, it would be a good opportunity to connect with yourself of that past life and recite the prayer and gather as much feeling of love that you can within your heart chakra and send it across time and space to the you that you were at that time.

What is your chosen career in this lifetime? If it is not in the field of service (medicine, teaching, social service etc.) then volunteering somewhere to consciously give your time, attention and love to others who need it would be helpful for you as well probably.

[Shari]

Thank you for your input. I will think upon it.

[Shari]

It's a really long story... I am actually in the middle of a memoir regarding 124 days of awakening that help mystical elements to it. The voices I heard during that time period told me that I had committed terrible atrocities in my past lives and this being my last incarnation here on earth, I was very close to complete consciousness where I would have to submit to my wrong-doings. With the dreams also playing their part that I am evil, I feel evil, and I show-off to others about it, I am afraid. Very afraid.

[kris]

I think dreams can have content related to our past lives and that is what you could be dreaming about. If it is indeed past life related, you don't need to worry about it at all. The only thing that matters is the present and what you are doing with your present moment.

[A Gray Vidar]

Good and evil are human polarity constructs. in the unconditional love and light of the highest there is nothing to fear.
only fear the "serving" of past deeds during the afterlife. but eventually they also cease to exist and you are done. ready or not for another fresh start :)
Love and Blessings