My Own Kundalini Insights and Questions
Prior to my Kundalini Awakening I received miraculous message while surfing online. I would click on a well-known link, and I'd be redirected to a message that was seemingly directed towards me. Miracles aside, what I learned was that I was being prepared. At one point the messages seemed to make me aware how badly I was going to need chiropractic work and acupuncture. The messages basically stated I would need eastern healing techniques at this stage of the game for me. The messages were so intense that I immediately made appointments for both. This was prior to ever experiencing the awakening. I later missed those appointments because I was hospitalized.
I was not a spiritual person growing up. I was more of an agnostic. I didn't eat healthy or do a whole lot for my body. Additionally, I had been called slouch calling up in high school due to my poor posture. Something changed for me in my early adulthood. I did a dramatic shift towards all things spiritual. I studied the Bible and sacred texts relentlessly. I practiced complete abstinence from all things sexual and ate a raw vegetarian diet. A few years into my pursuit was when I was called.
What I found after the awakening was, I was in complete disarray. The experience itself was at another level of explanation. 14 years later I still have trouble explaining all that happened. My body was completely unprepared for what was unleashed on me. Whereas some people prepare themselves spiritually and physically for years, my inexperience showed itself in plain sight. I had several hospitalizations during this period due to losing my grip from a complete inability to sleep. Looking back on it, I realize it was because I did not follow the messages I initially received with respect to acupuncture and chiropractic work. The hospitalization demoralized me and made me forget the initial miraculous like moments I experienced.
I realized I think through all of this is that the energy could not flow properly due to spinal misalignment. But more so, I was never able to transcend my previous trauma pre awakening due to gross imbalances in chakra system. I was never able to move past these (and still struggle) pre-awakening traumas. And kundalini would keep bringing them into the forefront and knocking me down until I pushed through.
Now after almost 14 years I have consistently listened to what I was initially told. I completely committed to acupuncture. The acupuncturist diagnosed me with damp heat. She seemed to think it was a particularly bad case and asked me without prompting me if I was subject to some form of very extreme trauma (which I was and won’t get into). Either way, she said she could work with me, but removing dampness does not happen overnight. Since I committed to her care I’ve seen steady improvement in my condition. I finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. Interestingly, damp heat can be associated with bipolar and schizophrenia. Phlegm accumulates in the heart meridians and heart center becomes disturbed (lack of peace). My theory after all of this is I did receive the awakening and accepted the path however, the gross imbalances in my body made it a very difficult to see the process through in its entirety.
My reason for sharing this is to first encourage and offer ideas to anyone else struggling. But also, I had a few questions. I routinely feel a constant stream of energy consistently reaching my arms. It feels like a cool energetic feeling emanating outward. I can feel it very strongly during meditating but also upon awakening in the morning. I also more routinely feel blissful (tingles throughout my entire body). And now I much more readily feel energy reaching my head and crown chakra (same as the hands). Before I would feel energy rise in me, but it would completely transform into extreme anxiety in my heart center and sometimes throat center. It was this intense adrenaline/anxiety run rampant that could sometimes cause me to not sleep. I am just wondering if I am finally turning the corner and if anyone could comment with anything insightful. Does the passing of the energy into the hands and higher chakras mean that I am finally pushing through?
The one thing I learned through all of this is the awakening never really stops. It’s not like you have finish a race and you are done, but it is a continual process. I am just wondering if I can finally expect to enjoy some of the more pleasant parts of awakening vs. what has seemed like a very long and difficult struggle.
Thanks.
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