Acquaintances are Better than Friends

[Gem]

I don't really have feelings like I think other people do, and I actually don't like pets, but let's say I did and really loved my dog - when the dog dies I barely worry or feel sad. It's sometimes hard because when people die and everyone is grieving, I don't actually grieve and I worry that they'll think I'm a sociopath, but I think it's because I don't have and shock and am immediately at the stage where 'this is my life now'. But there is something else, like after my mother died I re-landscaped her place and spent months creating a native garden dedicated to her, including hardscapes like paths and pavers which is more for my late stepfather. After that house was inherited (not by me) and rented out, I continue to maintain the grounds and will keep up that dedication for the rest of my life. So... it's something, but no grief, no sorrow.

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker

Why fear friendship, intimacy, closeness?

I think true love is divine love. Where oneloves all equally and deeply. Romantic love tends to be selfish or self centered. That's why it can so easily turn to hate if one cheats etc. Also, if one is not identified as this body and does not enjoy listening to egos why would they have a desire to couple up? On the "intimacy" my opinion is when body identification ends, so does any interest in that. It's an animal thing in my opinion and totally body related. Brain driven hormones etc.

I don't see it as fear. I see it as enlightenment. Where one sees reality. Romantic relationships I think then to be about what we get, not so much what we give. But then I'd guess most need such things for karmic learning purposes. That's prolly one point of an incarnation. I was in a pancake place the other day and an elderly couple came in, sat down, ordered their meals, ate them, then left without saying one word to each other. They did not look happy.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Maisy

I was in a pancake place the other day and an elderly couple came in, sat down, ordered their meals, ate them, then left without saying one word to each other. They did not look happy.

In silence, we often find the deepest connection.
Mybe they didn't 'look' happy because in their lives something 'sad' was going on....

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by sky

Mybe they didn't 'look' happy because in their lives something 'sad' was going on....

That's exactly right..we have no idea. We can't really assume anything. Good one, sky....imo. :)

[sky]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

That's exactly right..we have no idea. We can't really assume anything. Good one, sky....imo. :)

Yes, we should never judge a book by its cover

[Maisy]

It is amazing how much the brain assumes!

[Maisy]

I still think they were unhappy. They were both frowning. About what or why I don't know.

[sky]

Originally Posted by Maisy

I still think they were unhappy. They were both frowning. About what or why I don't know.

"He who measures according to (outward) form (rūpappamāṇa) is satisfied therewithin".....
The Buddha.

The Buddha taught that people make judgements in one of four ways, rūpappamāṇa is the first way....

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Maisy

I still think they were unhappy. They were both frowning. About what or why I don't know.

Oh, I don't doubt you...I don't doubt they were prob unhappy. :)

I think the point, for me anyway, is it could have been situational and very valid.
Like the unhappy, slow waitress that just got the phone call her son is being expelled for a knife in his locker.
Or those folks finding out their grandchild has cancer.

My friend just got a new kidney, offered her mine - her husband died after a heart transplant, her 2 little doggies died
of old age last month, last week her son, 38, was found dead in his apt...NYC. Funeral was Monday.Has the chore of cleaning out his stuff.
She may be invited out for a lunch...I guarantee she will be a sight to see there!

[Bluto]

Originally Posted by Maisy

They were both frowning.

Perhaps it was a facelift or botox gone wrong???