I'm sick of waking up in the lower realms - in the dreams

Hi and thank you all Lostsoul13, AstralTraveller and last but not least astralsuzy :)

yes I think my own vibration is pretty low, before more so subconsciously but perfect on the surface, but now pretty obvious, and so I automatically sink down there.

I think however that someone or something is protecting me or that I have not yet sunk so low that my astral body will be in great danger.

Perhaps it is too that the one/s? protecting me have to be of a specific level as well but don't mean that one/or the ones are bad.

I think also I am the type who has difficulty letting pain go in a way, that I am someone who when traumatized don't know really how to continue forward automatically, perhaps that is because of my sensitivity, that I feel things as strong as I do. (this too honestly I thought I could be on the autistic spectrum but turns out that was my husband, LOL).

There was also an attachment to me, I've been told, that could have influenced or we could have been on a similar energy level, I'm not sure.

I've seen others or become aware of them, people I think are just sleeping and not aware what their astral body is doing maybe, but they are there, somewhere. I can feel them, their essence, feeling. Then afterwards who am I to know if it is just innocent dreams or if it truly has happened my experiences. I don't know if to believe this myself. I don't want to spread something that is false. Maybe I will just stop at saying I have experienced it. They have no desire to interact in any way, they are so locked up in their own pain.

But i have also felt as if something, someone, essences, energies, I don't know what to call them by, knows me. It just feels as if they know me from before, my spirit, soul maybe, and like I know I've been there before. In one way almost as if I am one of them and then that scares me hoping I have not done something bad in the past, or just simply know me. That is at least the indicators I get.

I think letting go and rising up is truly something I have to do so I do appreciate the advice.

Yes, I have booked something with friends soon so I'm hoping for some fun :)

I'm happy too you are doing better astralsuzy with all the pain your sister in law and her husband is spreading around. I don't think family as of blood anymore. I think family is those who treat us as family and us them. The others are just camouflage as family and trying to abuse it to their benefits. I also now more than before believe that justice will be done, karma will be done in it's own time and nothing we can quicken up or be in control of but simply try to let it out and trust that Universe has it, got it, and will mold it. I now try to think of it as me thinking if someone has done something abusive, mentally or physically to someone, that this person is already sentence to a spiritual-jail, but it just don't know it yet, it is as if it is eating it's last mean and enjoying it and don't even know what is coming. But it is coming. Usually what can be frustrading for me but I have learned more to handle it is that I realize that I see through people mostly and that lots of others don't and so I have to wait in the rest and in the meanwhile such people can take down an entire successful operation/work for instance and then it looks like it will be off the hook and on to the next thing, but then as I can see it it will caught up with such people and then they're done. We can only do what we can do, no more, no less. Perhaps that is a hard lesson too to learn that even if we want to do more it is not always up to us but allowing things to run it's course. I don't know, just thinking of all sorts of things, LOL. Perhaps that is my problem, I think too much hi hi. Many times I wanted to stop something but couldn't and then just had to watch the pain others go through.

God, I soon look/sound like Eeyore when I should be like Tiger from Winnieh the poh ;)

[AstralTraveller]

Hi asearcher!! I agree you must let go and truly rise higher, raise your vibration. To the moon! Please know even if you don't and you remain low, it's okay. It doesn't mean low is bad... It is not about your soul being in danger if too low, it's never in great danger. It is truly about your soul will flock with like souls with similar level of vibration when out of the physical. And in that scene, everything will be fine.

In the lower Astral, even the higher Astral, I notice people are like that as well. I don't think they are locked up in pain...It's not that they don't want to interact, sometimes they truly think they are just dreaming they are standing there and thinking of something or sitting around thinking. Most of the time like your said, they aren't even aware they are in Astral mode. Or they are just observing.

I once saw a girl, a little girl standing there doing nothing, I honestly thought she just don't know she was AP. I had no time to stop and talk with her. I just ran pass her and flew to the sky. Suddenly she was right behind me, flying precisely the same speed, and told me in my mind, where I was heading in such direction. Maybe all this time she was just standing there observing before reacting.

[astralsuzy]

Originally Posted by asearcher

I have booked with friends I'm hoping for some fun. I soon look/sound like Eeyore when I should be like Tiger from Winnieh poh

That is really good to hear asearcher that you are going to have fun. That is what everyone needs is fun. That is not the only thing we need but I will leave it as that. There can be a lot of stress when awful things happen that we do not expect. If we do not have fun we could get depressed and we do not want that. That was funny what you said about you will soon look/sound like Eeyore etc so I added that in the quote.

I am lucky as I hardly ever see my brother and sister in law. They socialise with a few of their friends. That suits me fine. We are friendly with them but I do not trust them. I am trying not to think about them because I want to stop my negativity towards them. It is hard to break a habit. I will have to try harder. The more I think about it, the more unhappy I can get. I do not want that. I do not think about that much but I do not want to think about them at all. My sister in law sometimes talks to my daughter and partner about things. My daughter tells me about it. Next time I will say to my daughter not to tell me what my sister in law said because I do not want to know. The things she tells my daughter and partner makes me irritated and I do not want to feel that.

I hope all goes well with you. We need to enjoy life. The weeks and months seem to go very quickly.

Hi Astraltraveller & astralsuzy and a big hug to you both, thank you :)

I am actually and dare only to breath of it as of now, feeling as if I am waking up from a long and difficult nightmare, things feel lighter. And I think a part is that my relationship with my husband is way, way better now than before, we are connected again. Perhaps it is too early to say but I am hoping for the best.

Strange when you are in something it is as if we always adjust bit by bit and then that state becomes our normal. too with our brains. We keep going back to a problem, to a threat to try to fix it but it can also be that it can't be fixed, that it ain't our turn to fix it and then we just have to give it a rest instead of banging our heads in the wall, emotionally speaking that is, loosing our energy, our thoughts, our good mood, and stressing out.

What you could have developed over time Astralsuzy is a kind of trauma, it was this way with me as it was years of one bad experience after another with the narc parent in law etc that it eventually became a trauma which is when it is also as if I was lost in the corridors and could not find my way out, was easily triggered and on repeat, as I too saw this threat but no one else saw it like I did. To my surprise I have been told I have a kind of intelligence that I am in the group that sees the little things, see patterns, that some might lack, so then it is as if I am running while the other are walking slowly, not understanding of it as of yet. What will happen though is that in it's time the rest will figure it out. They will have their own experiences. There are those who won't figure it out in this life time though. Me being able to see the little things, patterns, is something that has showed off in my professional life and something that has been to our gain. But then I know I am terrible at other things, LOL. We all got our pro and cons.

The narc won't ever change of that I am sure I have seen enough of it as it is. But it still act, believes as if everything is suppose to play it's way. That too could be the case with your sister in law and brother, that the sister in law will simply play the same game til it's last breath. The narc and I suspect your sister in law would love the idea that we are wasting all this precious energy that should be spent on our well being and those we love and care for, on them instead. So now I am trying to not give the narc that pleasure no more. It is much easier now when finally my husband gets it, and so does some other family members as well, and we are putting up walls that need to be up when dealing with someone with a personality disorder such of that as the narc. Before my husband was like this open door for the narc to just climb in. Now for his own sake and not just mine he keeps that door closed on his terms. He can open it and does so but it is not letting in the danger. It is more so that he is standing in the way of the door talking to the narc on the outside. Huge difference.

Yes then we have to change the record and try to force ourselves to think and do something else, something fun, and to try to feel free :)

so amazing it must have felt when you flew up and away like that, Astraltraveller. Thank you too for sharing that you have seen, felt these other people there too. Makes me think I am not just imagining this, hi hi.

I am glad you don't have to see your brother and sister in law hardly at all, Astralsuzy. They are on their own journey, their own road. Has nothing to do with you. That is how I tried to think about my parent in laws situation, road. I can emotionally go back there and I have to force myself to not think about that situation anymore.

I agree with you 100% that it is a good idea you tell your daughter to not talk about them. She is I bet young and just in this swirl of life and don't see the danger.

I know when I was trying to get away from my ex, the psychopath, that he had enablers all over the place or so it felt. They did not mean anything by it but he was pulling the strings. I remember I was somewhere where I sat opposite what I thought was my oldest and best friend and then she opened her mouth and what she said was like this echo from the psychopath. And I realized he was using her to get to me, but she had no ill intent at all. And your daughter don't have any ill intent I am sure but it's good I think you let her know that you don't want her to talk about her or them.

What I had to do was extreme. I had to cut off contacts in order to get some peace of mind as I was starting to see a pattern when he would get triggered and when he would not.

I am in no way saying that you should cut off contact with your daughter of course, but I would say it is very important you are clear with her what the rules are for your well being. She needs to get this.


Fortunately for us we do not have any conflicts or anything else of the kind going on with the rest of the family members, either those born in the family or those married into it. But I can honestly say there is always drama around a narc. And we stay out of that drama. I was good at it before too which the narc discovered so I was no fun then, LOL.

We are not the only family as it turned out that had to get professional help on how to live with the narc-issue and everything that comes with it, there are other family member as well. So I was not crazy all this time. I got great and I would say ONLY support from this forum, and I don't know how I would have been if I had not been able to turn to you guys here. If I had turn to other family or friends or co workers (I turned to a co worker once and my husband lost his cool with me because of it which estranged us even more) it felt as if I was disloyal to my husband and our family. I felt trapped and very much alone.

I think many families have problems but not willing to share it or feel disloyal if they do and so on, but I actually think it is far more common than not that you have so called family members or in-laws that are camouflage such and not the real deal. I think as much as we can we should built our own family, our own world and it is a necessity to lock all doors so the wrong people don't get in to mess up things for us.

The way I think of the narc is that it is a distant relative that I can and will have some sort of contact with, and if I think of the narc that way, I'm cool with it.

I have also adjusted it so that no door is open to the narc as far as social media, social groups etc. I have developed my own system which is that I have contact with the people I want to have contact with, each on their own, and keep it like that. That works for my peace of mind. I then feel I have control as well and that the doors I want closed are closed.

[AstralTraveller]

Originally Posted by asearcher

so amazing it must have felt when you flew up and away like that, Astraltraveller. Thank you too for sharing that you have seen, felt these other people there too. Makes me think I am not just imagining this, hi hi.

It felt amazing alright. One of the best thing about Astral is just flying. The freedom. The view! I know one can just instantaneously go anywhere in a blink. But you'll miss the view. And oh no.. we don't imagine this... this stuff is way too complex. It's like a collective mind kind of thing up here.

[astralsuzy]

Hi asearcher, I am not going to ask my daughter not to let me know what my sister in law says. There are times I say things but later on I change my mind. I will accept it and not let it worry me. That will be easy to do but difficult if it is something I should have been told about. It could be my mother and she is in a nursing home. I should not have that problem any more because the nursing home staff said they will contact me if any important thing happens to my mother.

My sister in law at the moment is very nice. She sent me a short email yesterday. I sent a short email back to her. I was nice to her. I know it is strange but I prefer my sister in law not to be nice to me. It puts me in an awkward situation when she is very nice and then after a while becomes nasty. I will be kind, polite and keep my distance.

Astraltraveller, yes, brilliant feeling. I think I used to have more of those experiences when I was a child but then just thought of it as natural

astralsuzy, yes do what feels best for you. Could be one day you don't feel like hearing anything and can tell her to not talk about her and could be days you feel totally fine with it, I'm guessing?

It's wonderful you have your clear connection with your mom's nursery home so you do not risk coming into an inferior, dependent relationship that could be taken advantage of by your brother and his wife, way to go :)

Oh yes I recognize that feeling. Feels so fake when they suddenly shift to be very nice as if nothing has happened and even if things has not been sorted out in the past and they take no accountability for their part. But that they are somehow the good guy for having "forgiven" you and still they stay with a superior attitude... that is at least what I have experienced.

For me all I can say is that I don't like the falseness of it as I know at any time, for no reason, the shift comes. I can stay tense through it all as I know I can't trust those who are like that and I don't enjoy being around them no matter what mood they are in.

Too their way of being nice again is that they have that door open and you feel you have to pretend to be nice in return. I think I know what you mean, experience.

Today I am too polite and keep distance, I do not interact as if I have a personal relationship, my husband will have to do that.

(edited, deleted a part here as I just began to write about me, me, me again...sorry about that).

What I have tried to remember is that their behavior is of course right and natural and normal to them. They can't see beyond that. They don't care what it is to you. They don't try to change for anyone. They just expect you to change to suit them. They have no intention of cutting off contact, at most if you are so lucky they will threaten doing so but will not follow through.

I hope you will have peace of mind in future ahead and only way to do that with people like that is to keep them away from you as much as one can.

Being polite can serve as a tool to keep distance and keep any subject on the surface as well (no vulnerabilities exposed), so to me it sounds like you got it going on just about what would be good in your case,

thank you too for the advice :)

[AstralTraveller]

Originally Posted by asearcher

Astraltraveller, yes, brilliant feeling. I think I used to have more of those experiences when I was a child but then just thought of it as natural

Children of the Astral love to fly, and I know why.