Why did I feel her energy like that?
Edited as I wrote too much (Again. Sigh).
Bottom line I wish to understand why I felt a then boyfriend's ex-flame over at his place, her energy. According to him (and later her) they had not been involved at the current time we were dating, getting involved, he assured he had not been cheating (but the thought had not even crossed my mind that he had, at the time).
I was not someone who had been jealous in the past in previous relationship, and I can't to my recollection ever remember feeling jealousy or being suspicious in that way when it came to him. If anything he had been "guarding" me early on, before we even were to date. I just did not think in those terms. I knew he had a past, and he wanted and did in short terms tell me of his romantic past (only the serious relationship/s) and I had not asked to hear it in the first place, but there it was, and I did not think about it after that (him telling me). I was totally fine with it, as we both had our past in our separate romantic lives before meeting each other.
I would blame me feeling her energy to be imagination, even if I knew it was not, there was something about it. When I was a child I had one time on my way to a home felt the energy of a child who had passed (the child had been treated for leukemia and later past away in that very home, my dad was the one to believe me, and watched me during this visit, and was to later take me to the "child's" grave, had it still be alive could have been my dad, agewise. It may have been my dad's effort to bring closure to my experience.
I know I tried my very best for the longest time to ignore me feeling her energy. Then as it was, one time, I by accident found her, among a big crowd at this big party, far away from us, but did not approach I would try to explain this as female intuition to myself (and later to him). I just knew. It was her.
What would have been the purpose behind me feeling her energy the way I did, for so long, and something so intimate? Either way that was just between them, and in the past, and non of my business as it had happened before us. I did not chose this. I was bothered by it and I had nowhere to turn. I had thought if I say anything about this to him, to anyone, I will be seen as crazy.
I had been hoping it would go away, if i just ignored it enough or spend enough time there but it didn't, instead, if anything, at times it increased. He was someone, at the time, who wanted me to feel just as home in his home as he was, and had asked me to move in with him.
To my recollection I had not met her before except that first time at that party, but I can't swear on it. If so, I didn't remember it, and it couldn't have been important. There were no signs of her anywhere, not a smell, not something she had left behind, no nothing.
It was so awful that I would feel her energy, presence in the bed with us while he was sleeping as a baby, and I would sit up and just try to get a grip on what this was. I would tell myself You're crazy. Stop this. I did not understand why I would care or why it came on as strong as it did.
If I understood it right he had decided the terms of the relationship (he had a kind of "animal" "superior" attitude, feeling to him) and I found him to be callous (for the first time) when engaging in a conversation about them, to me.
When I later came to adress her she was out of the picture. I told her we had broken up. She said he had not contacted her again. I could tell it was not on her initiative.
Has this happened to someone else? Is it always a purpose behind it?
Last edited by asearcher : 26-10-2021 at 08:51 PM.