What happened

[Elf_Kristina]

Hi everyone,
I am kind of a newbie here. Some paranormal/spiritual stuff happened to me and I am not sure where else to ask for some answers. I think it will be a lot of text to read, so my apologies in advance and thanks to anyone who will read it.

Since I was a kid, odd stuff has happened around me. I was living with my brother, my mom and her new husband in his house where his sister died (eastern europe), since I was 4 and I actually got her room. So a lot of this happened in the house - objects flying through the room or falling down on the floor; noises - especially someone running towards me up the stairs; cold spots that would change position, odd dreams etc. My mom and brother had their own stuff to talk about but for them it was always only in the house. For me, it was everywhere. My bf was a witness to some of these situations and he jokes about it like I am a magnet for everything paranormal.

The side that I cannot joke about at all is the fact that I have woken up every single night with a strong eerie feeling that someone was watching me, literally staring at me, that someone was there with me in the room so sometimes I run through the house to sleep in my mom's bed. It was so bad that I would wake up in a cold sweat and full of fear till I was 13. But this feeling of being closely watched happened to me anywhere during the day as well, for example when I was walking home from school I had a strong urge to look behind my shoulder all the time with cold chills at the back of my neck.

When I talk about the odd dreams, maybe I should call them premonition dreams, because a lot of these dreams happened later in my life. I do not know much about this topic as I never had anyone to talk about it. I still have them - or had - I will get to this in a minute. Apart from dreams I noticed a strong sense of intuition that saved me or someone around me a few times already. It is like that gut feeling that you know something really bad will happen. So I thought to myself that maybe I am some kind of a weak medium or something.

But then one night something happened. I was 16, and I was sleeping in my room. I woke up hearing whispers. I could not move, apart from my eyelids, so I knew that I was having a sleep paralysis, but I saw 4 or 5 figures by my window, whispering to each other. I could see only their legs as I could not open my eyes more. One of them turned around and came to me. He was talking about something in a language I cannot remember as I could not understand him. Then he grabbed my arm and he started shaking me like when you want somebody to wake up. My body responded to this, it was so real that my heart started racing. I felt his touch. I was trying to move with all my will, but I could not while he was shaking my arm, I only managed to blink....and it was morning. I am not sure how to write this but, I have a strong feeling that something happened that night and I cannot remember it. Like I am missing time, like that memory was taken from me. To be honest I feel like they took more than a memory.

Since that night things calmed down. I stopped feeling the presence so strongly, my intuition stopped working that much, my odd dreams almost stopped. Occassionally some weird stuff would happen, but it was very rare.

I moved out of the house when I was 17 and nothing really happened till a year ago. I am currently 26. I started to have sleep paralysis and my odd dreams came back. I started to wake up at night with the feeling that someone was watching me again.

This was happening for a few weeks until I had the most vivid dream in my life that I will now describe. I was in my room looking at my closet. My balcony door was open, it was dark outside. I closed the wardrobe and turned left leaving my room. As I was passing my door I saw a glimpse of some figure shape sitting behind my door, but I left the room without stopping to get my dad. I told him that I saw something in my room and we heard a noise. We got back to my room to discover my closet opened again and some stuff on the floor like something was fleeing from the room. My dad was looking in the closet and I was standing with my back turned to the balcony door. He looked at me telling me it was just a wind and suddenly his face turned. I have never seen him so scared. All of that fear got through me, I felt it so strongly. He grabbed me and he was shielding me with his body trying to get out of the room. He stumbled on my feet and we fell down on the floor but he was still trying to get me out of there. At that moment I was able to see the balcony door and the darkness behind. There was a creature coming in. It looked like a human, naked, very skinny, walking on all fours like a hunter stalking its prey. Thing is, I can't tell what his face looked like... it was changing every second, distorted, like a glitch in a tv. Before it got to us I woke up petrified. I never felt such fear in my life. It was so real. I could not sleep for a few days after that. It felt like a premonition so I guess I am kind of waiting for something to happen.

Thing is, since that dream everything stopped. No dreams, no intuition, no paranormal stuff at all. I was curious and I wanted to try meditations to know what is happening. But I can't. I don't know what is going on, but when I am trying to meditate it is like I have some blockage in my mind. Like someone is preventing me from doing that.

I was trying for a whole year. I bought some courses for meditation and even some for psychic mediumship. I read some books, but nothing changed. I am pretty desperate that I don't have any answers for what happened and why I feel this hole in me like there is a part of me missing. So if anyone can help me or nudge me in the right direction about what to read or try I would be very glad. Or if you have any answers or opinions about what probably happened, or if anyone knows if it's possible to remember that night with sleep paralysis, please feel free to tell me.

Thank you.

[Aetheryn]

The fear generated at that time of the most recent event is likely what is preventing you from understand anything further. If I were to guess, I would say no one is actively blocking you, but the fear you've manifested is acting as a block in your system. However, I'm not sure about your specific situation. Your fear and your memory of the experiences you've had is probably solid enough to effectively act as a "barrier" so to speak in your subtle bodies. It needs to be addressed in a certain way, and tackled head on. But the burden can be eased, I would say.

The fear within you may be pruned, but in order to remove it at the root you will have to understand why it affects you so deeply, and work to strengthen yourself. The fear must shrink before you, if you want to conquer it. That's the advice I have on your situation, without knowing anything more. As far as that particular night, it would be less effective to try and remember it than it would be to go forward with the knowledge you have. Don't actively pursue the memory of it, rather you should focus on what's in front of you. And that seems to be an issue you haven't been able to resolve with meditation or mediumship. Going after a faded memory is fruitless, but reclaiming your power is always worth the effort. The memory may or may not come. Choose your battle.

[Elf_Kristina]

Thank you for your reply. I guess there is a lot of truth in what you said and I just could not see it myself. The fact that I cannot remember something was killing me and I am trying to let go, maybe someday I will be able to access that memory again :)