Thank you very much Izz.
This thread was about you, yet I feel I have completely taken over, taken too much space because of my seemingly inability to shorten things up when I wish to explain something and get too wrapped up in it.
I am sorry you knew about the experience that it is when you are happy and relaxed when your narc relative saw the opportunity to try to take that away from you. Still it does affirm that besides from myself and the other person too, this is a tactic too, because if you are always on your toes, if you are not allowed to feel that happiness, you will have less energy I think to get stronger and free yourself. Everything is yet again about power over someone else.
I am happy you are feeling better and the way you see things developing between yourself and your soulmate and your future.
I have learned now through my luvs autism that he speaks bluntly but he can miss out that it can be hurtful until he sees my reaction and by then it is too late. We have had long talks about what kind of parents we want to be, how we wish to present ourselves, what our family is suppose to be about, where does we separate ourselves from how his narc parent wants us to be the same as the narc, or rather my luv to be like the narc, me the narc must know is a hopeless case, hi hi.
I am however nervous somewhat about the upcoming summer knowing that already people are doing diets and exercise to look the way they want to look during summer, and I know how wrapped up my luv can be when he is on one of those, that is even more than he normally gets and I can not have yet another fight with him about this. I know it is already worse at his first family residence. I did not know this til just recently but he has cancelled us from going over there which is not like him but could be because he don't feel he can trust the narc parent to not shut up about weight etc and we don't want a child around that - nor myself. It is also hard for him because he knows the narc won't listen to him, they have all tried various ways, so he can't trust that the narc won't continue the way it has always done anyhow. As usual it is everyone else who has to adapt.
Hugs
Last edited by asearcher : 12-05-2022 at 04:18 AM.
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