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  #141  
Old 28-09-2021, 04:19 PM
asearcher
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I'm sorry for your pain Love water. One thing caught my eye - and it was your unfortune to have one bad boss after another. Just would like to add that narcissists and psychopaths seek often position of power, leadership, I've watched someone like that ruin a business . and some bosses just wants to be the one telling everyone else what do do and not listen whici does not make them a good boss either. I think a lot will agree with me - finding and having a good boss is not so often heard off. Of course there should be one where you dont have to suffer any mental abuse from to say the least.

I hope your luck changes. I remember I would have a few years in a row that were just so bad and I thought my luck would never change but it did. Someone else I know went through the same thing and wondered what on earth was goin on.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

It may also be something that I have gone through which I at the time could not understand - there is a small percent of narcissistic and psychopaths in the world - according to the statistic that is - and I just did not get why one after another, either being it, or opening the doors so they could enter my life where I simply had to have some sort of relationship with that kind, even if I did not want to, kept appearing in my life. What are the odds! We had like nothing in common! Where I had empathy - the others had none - where I could be quilt tripped over nothing - the others had none, just callous and manipulating, and on and on it went. Not just in this life, in past too, at least in 2 cases not about mutual and us finding each other, more that they will find you and hunt you down. Too much so, I have to do something about it. It was so they could use me, and as long as I had a vulnerabilty within myself they could - I had to find that vulnerability and have it change from the within, sounds complicated and for me it was - and bloody painful on top of that - and I guess in a way still is but working on it. I think now i understand partly why it happened, perhaps there is more to it - I just dont know it, and I am hoping it is finally ending, for good. That is not to say I deserved it or that I had bad karma. I needed to fix something within my self, a wound someone had created in me a long time ago. And until I had - this type just kept appearing and pushing and triggering my system and only made me feel bad. For me, and this may not make any sense to someone else, it was the feeling that I was not good enough. And this while I think other people are of course good enough! I was a bit mean to myself in a subcounscious way.

I can't say of course what it is exactly why you have to go through with all this pain. Maybe your story is nothing like mine.

Please remember with those kind of bosses - you are not alone. Often people suffer in silence and they don't dare to connect to each other and share their grim experiences. It is part of the mental abuse. It is not until it has gone way too far when hopefully people do start to connect and start to join forces and then the game is pretty much over for the bad boss. Watch how the othes are behaving at work, see if you can catch signals there. Do they seem more silent than befor? Look down more so? how are their eyes looking? when they smile or laugh, is it the way it use to be?

now you will always have those who cant see straight, who is flattered and do a lot of sucking up to the boss, but there are those others there - that can't be bought - and those who can't be bought will then be the enemy. Someone with good character, with principles, with a mind of their own, with a security that they know they are doing a good job - they are the targets, the victims. If one dares to speak so will another and soon there will be a lot more coming through. The frighten ones will scatter for the wind (the suckers, and the flying monkeys), they will not stand by the bad boss side in time of bad weather that is sure. The imperium is not as strong as they want you to think it is. It only takes some time before the brick start to crumble even though it will feel like a bloody eternity til it does. Can take years. Years! (unbeliavable).

Another good thing to do - is to have a meeting where there are other people that may not be invited to that meeting but will still be close by to overhear or see. Or in the lunch room - to hae witnesses. Because if they know you are a good person, and you speak up to protect lets say someone else - if they see you have good intention, even those weakened by the mental abuse - will be strenghten and will find back to their own voice. The bad boss concept is to shatter everyone to be isolated, not joined in, and then have its usual sucking-up-fans nearby to tell you your reality of what is going on is fake. But yours is not fake. They are fake. And I think under the surface - they know they are fake. But that is unfortunately all they can be at that moment, they have their own weaknesses that they dont think you can see or anyone can see. They are easily bought and the boss knows this. I would not isolate myself and I would go and check on others, usually the same isolating technique/abuse is done on more than one but they think they are the only one, sadly. It wins the bad boss some time. So check on each other and team up, that was what we would do, you then feel stronger and they get stronger and you will keep your reality-check intact. Some of those bosses can be real bullys and try to play out one to the other (just like it will work in a narcisstic family). Once one has caught up what that boss is doing it is awful as you then see the truth but then you can get better prepared on how to deal with it.

Not all bosses are bad, naturally - and I am hoping your next one will be a page turner for you :) I remember one time - God I had the worst boss, really, I did - and then - like some angel had sent this other one - it came. Just when I had lost hope on bosses, LOL.

Wishing you the best.

Last edited by asearcher : 28-09-2021 at 05:48 PM.
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  #142  
Old 29-09-2021, 04:30 PM
LoveWater LoveWater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asearcher
I hope your luck changes. I remember I would have a few years in a row that were just so bad and I thought my luck would never change but it did.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

Thanks so much @asearcher. You mentioned something about the good ones being the targets. I am a very hard working individual, I am smart, and I am good at what I do. I am efficient, and I am effective. I am also generally well liked at work. I have read that bullies target just these types of people - the ones they wish they could be more like and envy.

I need to remind myself of this fact. And I have read it several times in several different articles that this is the case with bullies and abusers at work.

I pray that my luck changes. I am interviewing right now for a role - I have been rejected THREE times already for other roles I interviewed for. So, if this one goes sour, I am really going to be in the dumps.

I feel I must escape from my present work situation - I am that miserable.
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  #143  
Old 30-09-2021, 04:35 AM
asearcher
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Youre welcome =) maybe you got turned down or it did not work the way it did with the other jobs because that is not where you are meant to be. Maybe you are meant to be in a better place. I hope you will feel better soon
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  #144  
Old 30-09-2021, 04:55 AM
BigJohn BigJohn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveWater

EXCERPT

I do believe that we can effect karma through good deeds and actions. I was told by a medium that I have overcome my negative karma, yet I have yet to see that actually come to fruition.

However, in fact, I own a blog and a facebook page, and I bring happiness and well being to thousands of others through this means.

Anybody can walk on water. For me, I just have to wait for the water to freeze over.

Sometimes we have to think outside the box and also, we might want to look at what we need to de-program ourselves of the things that are holding us back.
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  #145  
Old 01-10-2021, 11:33 AM
LoveWater LoveWater is offline
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Thanks @BigJohn.

Getting a good job is holding me back. I have been interviewing and cannot seem to get a job offer. I am trying. I am learning from my mistakes. I am doing the best I can. But I am failing.
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  #146  
Old 01-10-2021, 12:59 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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more unsolicited advice ;)

But I am failing.
"I am" are powerful words to the subconscious mind.
If you must say 'I am' - try, ''Next time I am gonna get that job.''
or if you do not possibly believe that...maybe:
"Really soon I am gonna find the perfect job!" And smile when you say it... Feel the happiness in your imagination.

It actually has a physical effect in the brain.
( Ref Dr. Candace Perk and Dr. Caroline Leaf)
It will also be an invisible vibration the interviewer will pick up ...a confidence.
People hire people they like being around.
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Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
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  #147  
Old 01-10-2021, 05:01 PM
LoveWater LoveWater is offline
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Miss Hepburn, I love this advice, and thank you!!! I will definitely try this.
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  #148  
Old 02-10-2021, 08:25 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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I would have to Echo what Miss Hepburn has said turning a Negative into a Positive is the way to do it.



Namaste
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  #149  
Old 03-10-2021, 02:04 PM
LoveWater LoveWater is offline
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Well, I am SO desperate to leave my current job, I am afraid of making a mistake again like I did the last time around. I had to leave a company after only 5 weeks of employment. I was bullied and absolutely everything possible went wrong in that position - and I mean, everything.

The company I am interviewing with now mirrors that awful company in many ways, except for the position.

I am tainted by my bad experiences in the past, but I am trying to remain open-minded and positive.

You have to understand something. That when bad things happen to you over and over and over again, it taints a person's viewpoint and ability to remain positive-minded.

But, I am trying. I have ALWAYS been a very positive minded person, until **** kept happening to me.
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  #150  
Old 03-10-2021, 04:12 PM
LoveWater LoveWater is offline
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That being said, the company I am now interviewing with has been named a great place to work, so we shall see. I will remain open minded and will try to be positive about the outcome.
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