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04-11-2021, 11:56 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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hi sweetie
haven't been thinking
of a you
much
lately
kinda weird
so thank you
for not being
so in my face
with your absence
it means something to me
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08-11-2021, 12:39 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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so he was like
wandering about
listlessly
there doesn't seem much point
in believing
this life is going anywhere
any more
he gets it,
he is being punished.
in some ways
that is kinda ok
in a way
that it never was before
at least
if he doesn't get to relate
he doesn't have to feel
like he's going to be dragged into
something
that always hurts anyway
so anyway
listless and all
he ran into yet another
girl with pretty eyes
once again
way too young
but now he knows
hows this goes
and he's kinda at the point
of no longer wanting to believe
things can be
different than they are.
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09-11-2021, 10:31 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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he saw the blue girl
in a dream
last night
she was happy
dancing
young again
seemed awake even
which was never true
in other dreams of her
her sister
an orange girl
made a cameo
sitting in a chair
young too
and a little chubby
but he appreciated that
as isn't he too?
lol
he waved to the sister
it was a nice dream...
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09-11-2021, 11:17 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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well
he didn't want to be taken
seriously
lol
but the flip side of that
is a little hard to bear
between not wanting to be
inspired to be
mad
though
and would rather be a bit
ditzy
anyway
he guesses he'll just have to cope
*but his ego is taking a banging*
lol
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11-11-2021, 12:47 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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hi sweetie
aw, you still care!
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11-11-2021, 10:41 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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it is still
really weird
not caring
to fall in love
with simply everyone
I meet
weird
but at least
my meditations
are going well!
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14-11-2021, 05:29 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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I feel like
I have
a nice life
i mean
not all sunshiny
the way people want them
and kinda lonely at times
my twin didn't want me
and noone else does
either
apparently
but what else is new
it seems a truism
'i'm not to be wanted'
sad as that makes me
but I learned a lot
about what not to do
by considering my lot
seriously
just wish
I could know
I learned that lesson
about getting even
i mean right now
I don't wanna
because I know
how bad it will be for me
if I touch it
and besides
it isn't such a nice thing
to do to others
anyway
but what happens
when this life
gets stripped away
and I have to face things
in the raw
without any particular knowledge
yet again?
but meanwhile
I'm at least not unhappy...
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27-11-2021, 02:34 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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hi sweetie
don't know what to do
about tomorrow.
Caught between
a rock and a hard place
again
why does it always have to be this way?
If I go
I'll feel like I'm chasing you
and then when you aren't there
I'll feel taken for granted
and abused
again
If I don't go
I'll feel like I'm being obstinate
trying to deny you something
even though I'm not doing anything of the kind
again
What I really wanna do
is just accept
what you said
when you said
you didn't want me
all those times
just accept
for once
that I can't have you
for a change
and let this go
but all I can see
is that horrors will come
from your response
to any decision I make
tomorrow
Sigh.
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27-11-2021, 03:53 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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so sad
frustrating being male
but
if what I'm getting from females
truly is what I put out when I am one
then I probably need this reality check.
(later)
so sad, wanting to cry.
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28-11-2021, 08:22 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
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well
he decided not to go.
seemed like
that was the lesser
of too evils...
now he is waiting
to get kicked
again
though.
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