Caring for Aging Parents

[Clio_86]

Did you care for your parents when they became too old to care for themselves?

[Native spirit]

I was a carer for the person who called herself my mother only because my sisters couldn't do it or didn't want to,
even though she was good with them
but I would not have looked after her if she had lived to a good age
I have helped with looking after a couple of friends until they passed though


Namaste

[iamthat]

I must admit that I never had to face the challenges of caring for ageing parents who had become mentally or physically unable to care for themselves.

My mother died unexpectedly in hospital after a very brief illness of two weeks, but until then she had been fully active. My father was ill for a few months but was coping at home when he was taken to hospital and died within three weeks. My sister had a degenerative brain disease which meant that for the last year of her life she could barely move or speak, but she was in full time care.

In all three cases I was on the other side of the world, which meant a hasty return to the UK to deal with all the practicalities.

I have the greatest respect for those who find themselves in a situation of caring for aged parents and dealing with all the challenges involved. I consider myself fortunate that this has not been part of my life journey.

Peace

[JustBe]

Yes my family looked after my mother in her final three years of life. My sister and I did day on day off and my brothers did the weekends with their family.

My mother didn’t want to go into a nursing home, so we decided to meet her needs in this way.

In her early eighties she says she wanted to be put in a home, having cared for others herself.

By ninety she was most adamant that we would take care of her at home.. haha

[Clio_86]

I'm helping take care of my dad right now. My mom has been taking care of him for years on her own but works shift work. I was not asked to help, as the situation is mutually beneficial. However, I'm in my 30's and have noticed that none of my friends/peers have had to do this yet. In fact, I don't hear much about others helping with their ageing parents unless I go on Reddit.

My neighbour in the city where I normally live was absent for under a year to help take care of his father before he died. Otherwise, this topic has not come up too much in my life just yet and I'm curious.

During high school, my grandma lived alone in a house and our family helped her out when we could. I would vacuum and do other things, while my brother would cut the grass and shovel her driveway during winter. She died from pneumonia and before the week she got sick was pretty mobile and independent.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by iamthat

My mother died unexpectedly in hospital after a very brief illness of two weeks, but until then she had been fully active. My father was ill for a few months but was coping at home when he was taken to hospital and died within three weeks. My sister had a degenerative brain disease which meant that for the last year of her life she could barely move or speak, but she was in full time care.

iamthat - I'm sorry for your loss of your mother, father and sister. That's a lot of loss in one family.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by blackraven

iamthat - I'm sorry for your loss of your mother, father and sister. That's a lot of loss in one family.

Thank you. I am just grateful that my parents passed away relatively quickly with all their faculties intact. Some people have to deal with an ageing parent who may spend years steadily declining physically and mentally, either at home or in care. This must be very distressing and stressful. And my sister had no quality of life so her death was actually a relief.

And my own beliefs about the afterlife meant that I was not overwhelmed by grief. I was actually more curious about what they might have experienced and where they might have found themselves after leaving their bodies.

And I also believe that these things happen exactly when they should. This body is our temporary vehicle for physical experience, and sooner or later we will all discard the body and enter a less limited existence.

All is good.

Peace

[AngelBlue]

My father passed away last Wednesday. He had a fall and was in hospital for 5 weeks until a downstairs room in his house could be turned into a hospital room so he could be cared for at home.
My mother and siblings were his main carers and care staff were going in twice a day .
I live some 80 miles away and am poorly myself , but I did at least get to go and visit him.

[AngelBlue]

Clio_86.
I am so sorry that you are going through this .
My children would know exactly what you are going through as they helped look after their terminally ill father ( whom I was estranged from) when they were all in their 20's and were with him constantly in his final weeks .
Please dont be Alone with your thoughts , always someone here to talk to.

[hazada guess]

I cared for my Mother through dementia and old age.