My not-so-dear Brother

[cress]

First, i'm so sorry if this post contains of negativity. I'm seeking opinion of you, about how to manage my own feelings and keeping away from my own little brother because we're both still living in same house. I'm trying so hard to write objectively about him, and being honest.

He's 25 in april 2016, has no job, never a real one until now. Physically, he's good looking, tall but a little fatty. Bachelor degree in I.T and graduated 2 years ago.

Not so smart since he's a little, and getting lazy by the fact he's the only son (i have a sister too). He's barely taking care of his own goods, let alone cleaning around home. Out little sister used to took care of his laundry and garbage, but she's bored and tired of doing so. Now he's poorly taking care in both aspect.

Friends is his all. Anything they ask and said are the one matter, our parents and his siblings are not. When my grandma getting sick, all he said was "oh, then why do we need to care? she is she, and dad is not her only child. Let another people take care of her, we have our own things.". I don't know how's it for you, but that's so mean to say.

Among his friends, he doesn't even highly appreciated. And they're taking some advantage from him.

On work, he loves to take a part time job he doesn't have any knowledge about. He's making website while he never make one. He's promised to make a cake for his friend's birthday while never ever make one. He loves photography, could make good result with his DSLR but refuse to work on it because according to him, he's doing it for hobby.

He wants big family taking care of his future job, giving high courage and support him. Well we would too, if his could tell us certainly what he want to do, and stop being indecisive. He's changing his "dream job" every single day, or more if his friends giving opinion.

He's lying a lot since we're kids. We're not a close siblings because i hate lying, and be lied is something i can't stand. Thankfully i live with my grand parents until college.

After college, we live together in our parent's. We fight a lot and even he's almost kill me twice. Both are stopped by our parents, leaving me with some bruises. He is twice my size, and has no hesitation of throwing me on stairs because i stand against his weird opinion (at least for me).

I'm working on our family's store, while he's staying home all day long. Sometimes i arrived tired and just wanna be relax, but there he is giving his opinion of our way cleaning home, foods, and so on. Often, there's another small problem he supposed to fix but he doesn't. I am trying hard to be deaf to his negativity but some things are hard to stand. I usually just leave, blocking his voice and appearance.



I've consulted to some people and their answer are mostly :
He's young and trying to find him self
Just be away from him

I tried EFT too, but EFT doesn't stop what's coming in future (correct me if i'm wrong) and just erase then old pain. I did several EFT emotionally, my finger and bone hurts.

I tried affirmation but it just work a little. So i keep my distance.

But we're family and i can't always keep good distance from him, especially when he intruding my space. What should i do? Anyone facing same problem?

[Native spirit]

He sounds like a spoilt brat who needs to grow up but he is not going to do it while everyone pussy foots around him, what you want to do is to protect yourself just visulise a ball of pure white light surrounding you,
your parents need to have words with him but i suspect they cant see any wrong doing on his part.he is 26.that is not a young boy acting up he is a spoilt brat who needs a reality check.he will get this ppl are wise to him .while it is difficult living in the same house as him you need to set your own boundries and tell him not to speak to you.if he ever attacks you again report him to the police.you dont have to live like this.but your parents need to open their eyes and see what is going on just tell them if he attacks you again you will report him to the police.

Namaste

[starling]

"and even he's almost kill me twice. Both are stopped by our parents, leaving me with some bruises. He is twice my size, and has no hesitation of throwing me on stairs because i stand against his weird opinion (at least for me)."







You need to keep well out of his way.

[MIND POWER]

Originally Posted by cress

On work, he loves to take a part time job he doesn't have any knowledge about. He's making website while he never make one. He's promised to make a cake for his friend's birthday while never ever make one. He loves photography, could make good result with his DSLR but refuse to work on it because according to him, he's doing it for hobby.

This bit tickled me, reminded me of the film America beauty..haha!

But on a very serious note Cress....

You should not be nurturing a grown man! nurture your children when you have them!

Life has a way of smacking you right in the face sometimes and waking you up, and its during this moment! men can ether crumble, or rise once again! (This is called the test of men) So i think you need to focus on yourself, don't nurture him! and some how get away from him! stuff him.

And then it is up to himself, whether he wants to crumble or rise again.

[cress]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

He sounds like a spoilt brat who needs to grow up but he is not going to do it while everyone pussy foots around him, what you want to do is to protect yourself just visulise a ball of pure white light surrounding you,
your parents need to have words with him but i suspect they cant see any wrong doing on his part.he is 26.that is not a young boy acting up he is a spoilt brat who needs a reality check.he will get this ppl are wise to him .while it is difficult living in the same house as him you need to set your own boundries and tell him not to speak to you.if he ever attacks you again report him to the police.you dont have to live like this.but your parents need to open their eyes and see what is going on just tell them if he attacks you again you will report him to the police.

Namaste

Well.. my parents had lots of words to him, but nothing seems stay in his mind. He's even attack back with any hurt my parents has caused him. No body's perfect, and so does my parents. They've can not always makes him happy since he was little boy (and so does his sisters) and yeah we're all have our time blaming our parents, but he really take all of it very personally.

I've told him, and so does any other members not to talk any serious thing with him in front of me. Somehow he always find the most illogical answer possible. One of them is he won't doing a help to my dad because he's just finished washing his sandals, and they're shiny clean. Doing help will cause them dirty again. Well, i wouldn't blame him if he's going out or what, or if his sandals are pain to clean (they're rubber) but he's staying home and doing nothing while my dad need his help. I can't recall many of his illogical answer again, because i'm trying not to hear more than few words.

Thank you, i've told him not to speak to me but sometimes he can't help but asking me this and that and angry if i ignored.

By this, i don't mean i'm the most holly one and all the wrongness is hims. I have mistakes too..

[cress]

Originally Posted by starling

"and even he's almost kill me twice. Both are stopped by our parents, leaving me with some bruises. He is twice my size, and has no hesitation of throwing me on stairs because i stand against his weird opinion (at least for me)."







You need to keep well out of his way.

trust me, i'm trying to.

[cress]

Originally Posted by MIND POWER

This bit tickled me, reminded me of the film America beauty..haha!

But on a very serious note Cress....

You should not be nurturing a grown man! nurture your children when you have them!

Life has a way of smacking you right in the face sometimes and waking you up, and its during this moment! men can ether crumble, or rise once again! (This is called the test of men) So i think you need to focus on yourself, don't nurture him! and some how get away from him! stuff him.

And then it is up to himself, whether he wants to crumble or rise again.

thank you,
sometimes i really wish karma slapped him hard in face to wake him up. But well, where is it when it's needed?

I've let him drown me once but i wouldn't let him again.

I haven't watch american beauty, *LOL.. i'm more a bookish than movie lover.

[starling]

Originally Posted by cress

Well.. my parents had lots of words to him, but nothing seems stay in his mind. He's even attack back with any hurt my parents has caused him. No body's perfect, and so does my parents. They've can not always makes him happy since he was little boy (and so does his sisters) and yeah we're all have our time blaming our parents, but he really take all of it very personally.

I've told him, and so does any other members not to talk any serious thing with him in front of me. Somehow he always find the most illogical answer possible. One of them is he won't doing a help to my dad because he's just finished washing his sandals, and they're shiny clean. Doing help will cause them dirty again. Well, i wouldn't blame him if he's going out or what, or if his sandals are pain to clean (they're rubber) but he's staying home and doing nothing while my dad need his help. I can't recall many of his illogical answer again, because i'm trying not to hear more than few words.

Thank you, i've told him not to speak to me but sometimes he can't help but asking me this and that and angry if i ignored.

By this, i don't mean i'm the most holly one and all the wrongness is hims. I have mistakes too..

I'm hearing this time and time again.

He's only listening to what he wants to hear ......or it may be deeper than that and BPD, NPD, cluster B etc etc.

Once again no one should have to put up with violence or bullying.

[starling]

Originally Posted by cress

trust me, i'm trying to.

Can you involve the police?

[starling]

He's 25 in april 2016



Involve the police if he pushes you around.

keep a record (log) of incidents at the very least.