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Old 19-09-2020, 09:30 AM
Hexagon222 Hexagon222 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Starman
The search has changed so much over the decades since I was searching. Back then, in the 1970’s, there was no “spiritual supermarket,” it was more like a religious supermarket, and Christianity dominated American culture much more than it does today. A number of cults were springing up, some with deadly consequences, Jonestown massacre, etc. No internet back then and you mainly heard of gurus, etc., by word of mouth through friends, etc.

I think what helped me a great deal was that I did not know what I was looking for and I had no expectations. Today seekers may have all sorts of expectations. I was not even conscious that I was searching, except there was a longing that I was trying to fulfill. The first time I experienced quiet meditation it had a very strong feeling of “home” like I had never experienced before. Even before I learned how to meditate I was being guided by intuition.

Humility is definitely one of the prime ingredients, for any prospective teacher as well as for myself in my un-seeking search. Back then a committed disciple was required, although some people did jump around from one teacher or practice to another. I stayed with one particular teacher for more than a decade.

The basic concept of commitment was that through a consistent disciple, sticking to one particular practice, you were planting a seed within yourself and then nurturing the growth of that seed. Which might not occur if one did not put in time and consistency with one particular practice.

In other words I had some results fairly quickly but I understood that I was building a foundation within myself and not just looking for a wow moment. In Qabbalah it is called “building the inner temple.” I have now been doing quiet meditation for more than 40-years and I just can not describe all that I have gained along the way.

Yes, I have experienced a continual oneness with life, and unshakable confidence, a verification and trust in life beyond this physical world, A trust in myself and my experiences that go beyond logic and reasoning. A sensitivity that I did not have before, and I depend much more on intuition and my intuition has become very strong. There is a lot of love and sweetness, and even bliss. I am grateful for my journey even though at times it involved suffering, although I have had a lot more bliss, especially lately, then suffering..

While I have stopped searching my experience from what I found within me decades ago continues to grow. I have and incredible relationship with my deeper being and it is there for me, protects me, and guides me through everyday life. For me there is a lot more than what I have shared here. Please understand I am only talking about myself and not what others have, or should, experience. I have little to no knowledge of that. Each person’s seeking is as a unique a journey as they are.

Great story Starman, I've enjoyed*reading some of your other posts as well! I was kind of a seeker when I was younger. Was exposed to metaphysics as a kid. I had an attraction to that kind of stuff then it faded at 16 or so and I became an atheist. Years later experienced divine grace by asking for it. There was something that took over and guided me, nudging me to just let it take its course but I got side tracked and became obsessed with finding out what had happened to me and I became a seeker again.

Got an Eckhart Tolle power of now CD and he described an awakening similar to mine. Listened and practiced every day all day. About 30% Eckhart Tolle, Vernon Howard type of thing and about 70% old new thought authors Joseph Murphy, Neville Goddard, Henry Thomas Hamblin many more. Mixed in with some occult stuff, some of the various religions, mysticism and random teachers online. There seemed to be an underlying truth spoken throughout and many similarities to all the teachings. The most important part was I was able to understand it, before the divine grace it would have been gibberish.

I practiced and applied what I had learned 24/7 for years till I got to the point where I've only read the same experience in one book. Molearner posted about Bernadette Robberts, never having heard of her. Went to her interview link and understood and could relate to most of it. After reading a few chapters of her book "The Experience Of No Self" I could not relate with anything. So I skimmed through the pages until I found what she described as God possession, that it was taking over her and she didn't know just how human it was, it scared her. It was identical to my experience but I called it merging instead of possession and it scared me too (blissfully scary) and that's where my spiritual ascension? paused, wasn't willing to go any further at that point.*

For years after I've been lazy and complacent and falling back. Nowadays I am even more lazy having fun in my relationship. I could stay like this forever, not wanting to once again climb the ol' ladder of divine ascent so to speak but the gf seems ready. She's the one taking the initiative and telling me to focus with her, wherever that leads us. Will be interesting to do this together. So with that I'm going offline for a while, hope the forums stay up, I've learned so much from all the people here.**
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Old 20-09-2020, 11:32 PM
Hexagon222 Hexagon222 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 40
So much for going offline, have one more to get out.

This is not to anyone posting here but to someone reading these posts.

How can you find yourself even in the now when there was never a self to begin with? The now is a starting point, it's a point of liberation and choice but it's not the end. Since we know all is one literally and separation is literally an illusion, there is no you or me, me vs other. We know that right? Not intellectually, not by feeling but by knowing/witnessing/seeing it in the flesh/being it, that all is one and the one is infinite. Then who is it that is teaching and to whom is there to teach? If you know that then teaching is like the irony of posting on a non duality forum because through our action of posting here we are showing that we are not residing in non duality, we are showing that I see myself separate from those I am posting to and responding to.*

Who is that sees separation... Ego! I've yet to find a teacher where ego doesn't slip through the cracks from time to time. Not discrediting teachers, they have their place but the goal perhaps is to transcend the teachers and the teachings. We may have had a taste of infinite nothing, changed permanently and ego is back to report what it tasted, to teach and perhaps misguidedly show how others may be wrong (parable of the blind men and the elephant covers that) but we haven't gone all the way because if we had there would be nothing and nobody to come back to to report anything at all. As I see it, teaching is still a trap of ego. Those that have completely transcended the illusion of self I imagine have nothing to teach, the illusion has been shattered and it's realized you were just teaching yourself all along. There is only the infinite and the illusion of being separate from the infinite, is there not?
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