This will probably sound crazy but...

...here goes.

I've meditated on and off since 2011 and I'd estimate I probably have between 500 and 1,000 hours of formal sitting. In the past it was mostly a basic Vipassana technique, Calm abiding, but whenever I'd get to the point where breathe was barely detectable and mind was as an unflickering candle I'd shift to choiceless awareness. It was strictly for secular reasons and I was seeking the benefits cited by neuroscience and psychology. I can say it was amazingly beneficial as the difference in being was night and day between my off and on periods. I guess I thought I had it nailed when I was doing well so I'd drop it, only to realize five, six, seven months later I was right back at Square One. LOL!

I rebooted my practice a couple months ago, staying with the previous techniques and adding mindfulness of sound for some variety, but this time I delved deeply into the philosophical underpinnings, mostly the teachings of Advaita Vedanta. That is the significance of creating space between bare awareness and mind-body and experiencing the difference between what I am and who I think I am.

Judging from what I've been experiencing these last few weeks I'd say the combination of the knowledge I absorbed and direct experience during practice is amazingly powerful.

I've had two experiences of knowing beforehand, one a massive mind-blower that literally shook me to the core, and after tonight's sitting three experiences of messages, for lack of a better word. Kind of like those who experience NDEs describe non-verbal knowing during the experience. Oh, and there are times where I have a sense of tingling coursing through my body, wave after wave accompanied by a sense of ecstasy that brings free-flowing tears streaming down my cheeks. It's odd what triggers that. Could be a song, beautiful scenery, people enjoying themselves, it varies. I've never had anything even remotely close to this. Ever.

I've also had a massive shift in consciousness. I hesitate to label it but I see everything and everyone from an amazingly different perspective. I have no more edge, I feel totally open and I'm interacting amazingly open and authentic with others without the least fear what they'll think of me including strangers, I have genuine compassion for people who I considered difficult, yada, yada, yada. To put it mildly my worldview and sense of identity have been totally shattered and replaced with something very different.

Anyway, thanks for listening and letting me get this off my chest. There's really no other place I can discuss this. I tried with a close friend the day after I had an experience that left me shaken to my core and I don't think it went over too well. I chose him because he's told me he's had paranormal experiences throughout his life. That was nearly three weeks ago and he hasn't touched base with me since.

[Clover]

Hello,


Thanks for sharing your experience.

Not out of the ordinary to read some extreme personal experiences, so many different forms of meditation, some folks even use meditation as a gateway to connect to the 'spirit' world, so I have seen and read it all and experienced unexplained phenomena myself.

If you read through the Buddha and Spiritual Development threads, you may resonate with some of our members personal experiences with energy/bliss/kundalini/mediation practices. This area seems to be a bit slow at times...

Cloves

[Miss Hepburn]

Hi...I was confused ...what exactly did you think was crazy?
Lol Lol
You don't know this crowd yet...

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Hi...I was confused ...what exactly did you think was crazy?
Lol Lol
You don't know this crowd yet...

LOL! I now see this forum was an excellent choice for relating my experience!

Okay, I need to get back to work and fix a bug somewhere in the bowels of ancient mainframe code. Maybe even as old as the Vedas?

I'll drop back in after I call it a day and relate some specifics.

Here are three experiences. I'll leave the other for a separate post as it's a bit longer.

Monday, 9/23 - I work from home and was on my laptop when my dog went running out of the house and into the fenced yard. By the pitch of his bark I knew it wasn't the neighbor or someone passing by, but someone coming to the door. In a moment of realization I knew it was a census worker, and it was. Sure, there's a census next year but I didn't know they conducted a pre-census survey to verify address and occupancy. I wrote it off to coincidence, thinking I must have picked it up subconsciously somewhere.

Tuesday, 9/24 - While sitting in choiceless awareness something was 'said' to me and it was: "You are the Universe. You don't remember. What's a person to do?" Now one might say don't be silly, that was just the little voice in your head, but... It doesn't take long for me to arrive at a state of Samadhi, though I'm not sure if that's the right term when one isn't practicing single-pointed concentration as when sitting in calm abiding, mindfulness of breathe or sound, etc.... Also I don't remember any other thoughts that might arise before achieving that state, just that they are barely intelligible, mere whispers and fragments of thoughts. This was as clear as a bell and I'll relate it to how I've heard NDE experiencers describe it. It's not language at all. It's just a direct implant of knowing. Totally non-verbal. It's still as clear as that night.

Thursday, 10/17 - Same experience as 9/24 but the message was "This is where you're supposed to be."

Now for the big one.

Sunday, 9/29 - I packed my kayak and gear into my truck for a day of fishing on a remote pond that's a two hour drive away. It was an amazing day. The whole drive and time on the pond I was in an amazing state of contentment. I caught two gorgeously colorful native brook trout, the most beautiful I've ever caught.

When it was time to call it a day I paddled to shore, beached the kayak and started to unload the gear. Out of nowhere I was overcome by a feeling of unease. I took a minute or so to do a body scan, experiencing the sensation and it passed. I loaded all my gear into the truck and started to drag the kayak to the truck when the feeling came back but more powerful. Something like foreboding. In the same manner as described in the previous post this came to me: "Pay attention. Something's going to happen.". I did the same as earlier, scanning the body for the sensation and it subsided a bit but this time would not disappear.

I get in my truck and start the trip home and now my mind is kicking in. I'm thinking I'm going to get into an accident or come upon an accident or something. For some reason I start thinking about my Air Force days and the CPR training I had, trying to remember how many fingers from the sternum to do chest compressions. My thoughts were such a hash I missed a key turnoff and didn't realize until ten or fifteen miles. That finally broke the tension and I turned around and laughed my butt for for a couple of miles.

As I got close to the missed turnoff I see emergency lights ahead. A sheriff's vehicle in the oncoming lane, parked at the curb and an EMT vehicle in my lane, parked at the curb. There were several vehicles stopped ahead of me, and as they were waved past and as I got close to the emergency vehicles I noticed an old man lying in a driveway next to the garage of a house, feet towards the garage and head towards the sidewalk. His shirt was fully open, exposing his stomach and chest. Several people were standing around him including one of the EMTs. The other EMT was kneeling beside him, bags and boxes on the ground, but they weren't working on him. He didn't look good at all.

As far as I could tell he wasn't conscious. This literally freaked me out. All the way from there to the interstate I had waves of intense tingling, vibrations, energy, whatever coursing through me, accompanied by uncontrollable tears streaming down my cheeks and wetting my t-shirt. It wasn't sadness, fear or any other emotion I can describe. It was indescribable. After an hour or so and when I finally reached the interstate for the last leg of my drive home most of the intensity had passed, but I was still shaken and was right up until I went to bed. When I woke in the morning I was totally at peace and have been since.

[iamthat]

These messages sound like you are connecting with spiritual intuition, that state of direct knowledge without the need for intellectual understanding. In some esoteric systems this spiritual intuition is called the plane of Buddhi, the plane of consciousness beyond the mind.

You also mention mindfulness of sound. You may want to investigate meditation on the inner sounds, also called Nada Yoga or Shabd Yoga.

Peace

[Uma]

It sounds like you are in a period of grace Simple Guy, and your brow chakra is open to information (ESP). It also sounds like you are more sensitized to your environment than before and your heart chakra is more open, and so everything impacts you in a bigger way than before - you feel things more...and then the gross body reacts to that like a pet picking up its owner's vibes. All of these things are the result of your meditation practice and openness to grace. (Welcome to my world!)

You are smart to share with like-minded people - others wouldn't understand and only give you fear and there are some who are just plain jealous and will hurt you. Such has been my experience.

Biggest mistake is to think you have "arrived" and stop the practice. Keep it up. There is more around the corner.

That's my story and since then the only thing that comes close to describing my state is bliss. My entire body feels more alive than it ever has and there seems to be a subtle humming or vibration. Maybe what one might think a rung bell might experience but very subtle and sans the sound.

Then there are the times when I'm overcome with what I can only describe as ecstasy, like I described in the OP for this thread. Now that I've been thinking more on it it's a subtler form of the intense and coursing tingling vibrations and streaming tears I experienced on the drive after I came upon the scene with the emergency vehicles.

Hmm... Is there a way to do a single post with multi-post quotes on this forum? If not I'll reply with multiple posts.

I'll tell ya, it's a relief to finally get this off my chest and with like-minded people with similar experiences.