Emotional Monorail

[OEN34]

There's times during our journey that we feel overwhelmed with positive feelings; that zest for life, that mood where you feel amazing. This comes and goes for me personally. When I talk of this particular mood I mean that really great feeling, not just feeling great - that euphoric feeling.

Then there's the low times, which we all (most) experience on occasion, or some more than others.

What I'm aware of in myself is how I'm largely neither buzzing with joy nor depressed, but what I'd consider a monorail feeling or approach to life.

I'm talking here on an emotional level with worry, anxiety, negative thoughts/feelings etc.

I naturally love to laugh and find joy in making others smile, so I don't mean I walk around on a daily basis not smiling or involving myself in conversations of various topics, because I do. I don't mean this by monorail.

What I mean is when an event occurs or you hear of 'bad' news or are basically put in a situation where the people you know will flap and panic, I have noticed I'm very level with it all, but I'm inquiring within if this is due to me shutting myself down emotionally without realising?

I'd consider myself aware enough to know if I was doing this, but sometimes we become conditioned with something, or the mind can trick you to think you're a certain way both in a positive or negative approach.

As I said, I self-inquire a lot, but it still leaves me questioning ''Have I shut down here or am I more in acceptance?''.

There's been a couple of things recently where I'm 'handling' them without any emotion which is prompting the questions. I don't want to shut down emotionally, but I wonder if I am coming from a place of true acceptance with trying to witness most of my daily thoughts? Maybe this is development or maybe the mind is masking core emotions?

What are your experiences? As you progress spiritually do you feel more of a monorail approach emotionally to things?

Others oftentimes expect us to start crying and bawling over something, or at the very least complain and react emotionally, whereas I am aware I am not interested in doing that as it is doesn't feel natural to at this point on my journey.

This isn't to say I don't have empathy or feel sadness by the way. My heart goes out to hearing destructive events in the news etc.

[ocean breeze]

I think i get what you're saying. This seems to be my experience this past year until present. People in my life are sick, and some have died, yet there seems to be an emotional distance to such events. But there is still an attachment to things i identify myself with. In my case i don't think it has anything to do with spiritual practices. Mainly my life consists of martial arts training with some moments of sitting in silence and contemplating. In my case i believe it has more to do with acceptance than shutting down. I'm not sure if my experience is the same as yours though. There seems to be some change in me and so far i'm liking this change.

[HereAndNow]

Hi OEN34,

Thank you for interesting thoughts and post!

I personally think it can be both ways ... sometimes the lack of emotions can be because we don't get attached to things that someone else does ... non-attachment and equanimity ... but it can also be because there are some emotional blocks in us. It can be both at the same time too ...

I remember Jack Kornfield talking about the need to deal with one's emotional wounds and blocks which can hinder or stop the progress of even a very serious long-term seeker and meditator.

I have trained as a counsellor, and during our training we had to undergo lots of therapy/counselling ourselves. I personally learnt so much ... because I found some emotional blocks and wounds in myself which I was totally unaware of before. And being aware of them helps one to dissolve them.
But then looking back at my life I have also learnt to see how about some things I have never had much feelings because I have just somehow never taken them very seriously. Prestige for example.

So if there are some things you feel emotional about, and some things you don't ... then you are just human I'd think :)

I think people are unique in this sense too ... and it's not the same things that should or will make us emotional. I don't feel much emotion when I see starving African children on tv ... I feel tv has totally desensitized me towards seeing such things on the screen. But when I see a mother hitting her child on the street, or shouting at the child, then it can really touch me emotionally.

As I've seen the usefulness of counselling in such matters then one suggestion I can put forward to you is to go and see a counsellor ... say for 6 sessions ... just for him/her to help you to understand better your emotional life. Talking about these things face to face to another human being is so much more powerful than to discuss such things on the forums. Sorry if it doesn't sound like a good suggestion ... I'm just saying what comes to my mind.

One little story that always comes to my mind when someone talks about spiritual development and emotions is the story why certain Buddha statues have lots of heads (hundred, thousand ... can't remember right now). The legends say that it's because Buddha's head exploded into so many pieces from sadness once when he saw all the grief and suffering of all human beings. So I think Buddhas have emotions too. But their emotions just flow freely ... because they don't get attached ... neither to these emotions nor to the causes of these.

Good luck with your self-enquiry!!

Damian

[sky]

Originally Posted by OEN34

There's times during our journey that we feel overwhelmed with positive feelings; that zest for life, that mood where you feel amazing. This comes and goes for me personally. When I talk of this particular mood I mean that really great feeling, not just feeling great - that euphoric feeling.

Then there's the low times, which we all (most) experience on occasion, or some more than others.

What I'm aware of in myself is how I'm largely neither buzzing with joy nor depressed, but what I'd consider a monorail feeling or approach to life.

I'm talking here on an emotional level with worry, anxiety, negative thoughts/feelings etc.

I naturally love to laugh and find joy in making others smile, so I don't mean I walk around on a daily basis not smiling or involving myself in conversations of various topics, because I do. I don't mean this by monorail.

What I mean is when an event occurs or you hear of 'bad' news or are basically put in a situation where the people you know will flap and panic, I have noticed I'm very level with it all, but I'm inquiring within if this is due to me shutting myself down emotionally without realising?

I'd consider myself aware enough to know if I was doing this, but sometimes we become conditioned with something, or the mind can trick you to think you're a certain way both in a positive or negative approach.

As I said, I self-inquire a lot, but it still leaves me questioning ''Have I shut down here or am I more in acceptance?''.

There's been a couple of things recently where I'm 'handling' them without any emotion which is prompting the questions. I don't want to shut down emotionally, but I wonder if I am coming from a place of true acceptance with trying to witness most of my daily thoughts? Maybe this is development or maybe the mind is masking core emotions?

What are your experiences? As you progress spiritually do you feel more of a monorail approach emotionally to things?

Others oftentimes expect us to start crying and bawling over something, or at the very least complain and react emotionally, whereas I am aware I am not interested in doing that as it is doesn't feel natural to at this point on my journey.

This isn't to say I don't have empathy or feel sadness by the way. My heart goes out to hearing destructive events in the news etc.

Try reading Buddha's Middle Way/Path, that should help you

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by OEN34

There's times during our journey that we feel overwhelmed with positive feelings; that zest for life, that mood where you feel amazing. This comes and goes for me personally. When I talk of this particular mood I mean that really great feeling, not just feeling great - that euphoric feeling.

Then there's the low times, which we all (most) experience on occasion, or some more than others.

What I'm aware of in myself is how I'm largely neither buzzing with joy nor depressed, but what I'd consider a monorail feeling or approach to life.

I'm talking here on an emotional level with worry, anxiety, negative thoughts/feelings etc.

I naturally love to laugh and find joy in making others smile, so I don't mean I walk around on a daily basis not smiling or involving myself in conversations of various topics, because I do. I don't mean this by monorail.

What I mean is when an event occurs or you hear of 'bad' news or are basically put in a situation where the people you know will flap and panic, I have noticed I'm very level with it all, but I'm inquiring within if this is due to me shutting myself down emotionally without realising?

I'd consider myself aware enough to know if I was doing this, but sometimes we become conditioned with something, or the mind can trick you to think you're a certain way both in a positive or negative approach.

As I said, I self-inquire a lot, but it still leaves me questioning ''Have I shut down here or am I more in acceptance?''.

There's been a couple of things recently where I'm 'handling' them without any emotion which is prompting the questions. I don't want to shut down emotionally, but I wonder if I am coming from a place of true acceptance with trying to witness most of my daily thoughts? Maybe this is development or maybe the mind is masking core emotions?

What are your experiences? As you progress spiritually do you feel more of a monorail approach emotionally to things?

Others oftentimes expect us to start crying and bawling over something, or at the very least complain and react emotionally, whereas I am aware I am not interested in doing that as it is doesn't feel natural to at this point on my journey.

This isn't to say I don't have empathy or feel sadness by the way. My heart goes out to hearing destructive events in the news etc.

For myself personally I am a predominate feeler processor. When I unplugged the cork of suppressing a lot of my emotional binds in myself, overlaid with detachment or fears, I began to feel more freely and let go more naturally. I was surprised what came from me, through many streams of loss and grief, sensitivity and reactiveness. I had closed off many parts of myself and so opening up, I was able to see why I did that at a very young age. Once I cleared and found balance to manage my emotional bodies reactions to external stuff, I found that inner balance allowed me to be less involved and more seeing things as they were. My mind wasn't involved, my past and my own history of pain no longer infused in others pain and grief, however that played out. So now I could feel more openly and without attachment. I see this now in myself as clear feeling. It's not heavy, its light and easy to manage now. I flow through feeling mode fast now. So clarity can come immediately through this process.

I know at times through my own process I noticed a shelving process going on. You know when you have to get through some points of your own life with detached feeling mode. I found through my own process they came back at times to meet me. I called these times my unknown in feeling times. I would just be releasing without reason. But I am aware when clarity came through that it related to those shelved times in my life. The emotional burdens to heavy to face when in other modes of functioning.

Most often now I feel balanced emotionally, so I am neither up or down. Clear feeling means I am open to feel and just allow myself to experience a full range of emotions as my body experiences with others and life itself. I am not attached to the external reasons, and no longer attached in myself to make feeling mode more than what it is more directly to the experience as it is.

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by OEN34

There's been a couple of things recently where I'm 'handling' them without any emotion which is prompting the questions. I don't want to shut down emotionally, but I wonder if I am coming from a place of true acceptance with trying to witness most of my daily thoughts? Maybe this is development or maybe the mind is masking core emotions?

This whole modern society seems to be centered around not feeling, maybe I'm wrong, but it seems that way to me. I think that our bodies let us know if something is inside wanting to get out. We might have a gut feeling about it, we might get sick, or act out, or get depressed, anxious, etc. For me progress has been about getting in touch with deep emotions. The brain naturally tries to protect us from the painful feelings and often does a good job of keeping them buried. It's just trying to protect us. But unfortunately that can have consequences, and the brain really does want to feel and complete the emotions, but doesn't know how and needs help.

[Melahin]

Originally Posted by OEN34

What are your experiences? As you progress spiritually do you feel more of a monorail approach emotionally to things?

It would make sense if your practice is one of being at ease, then you would not be derailed by others emotions. You would stay on track with what is good for you, and thus be of better service to others. Mine is progressively feeling better without sending me to extremes where I can't handle myself

[OEN34]

Originally Posted by HereAndNow

Hi OEN34,

Thank you for interesting thoughts and post!

I personally think it can be both ways ... sometimes the lack of emotions can be because we don't get attached to things that someone else does ... non-attachment and equanimity ... but it can also be because there are some emotional blocks in us. It can be both at the same time too ...

I remember Jack Kornfield talking about the need to deal with one's emotional wounds and blocks which can hinder or stop the progress of even a very serious long-term seeker and meditator.

I have trained as a counsellor, and during our training we had to undergo lots of therapy/counselling ourselves. I personally learnt so much ... because I found some emotional blocks and wounds in myself which I was totally unaware of before. And being aware of them helps one to dissolve them.
But then looking back at my life I have also learnt to see how about some things I have never had much feelings because I have just somehow never taken them very seriously. Prestige for example.

So if there are some things you feel emotional about, and some things you don't ... then you are just human I'd think :)

I think people are unique in this sense too ... and it's not the same things that should or will make us emotional. I don't feel much emotion when I see starving African children on tv ... I feel tv has totally desensitized me towards seeing such things on the screen. But when I see a mother hitting her child on the street, or shouting at the child, then it can really touch me emotionally.

As I've seen the usefulness of counselling in such matters then one suggestion I can put forward to you is to go and see a counsellor ... say for 6 sessions ... just for him/her to help you to understand better your emotional life. Talking about these things face to face to another human being is so much more powerful than to discuss such things on the forums. Sorry if it doesn't sound like a good suggestion ... I'm just saying what comes to my mind.

One little story that always comes to my mind when someone talks about spiritual development and emotions is the story why certain Buddha statues have lots of heads (hundred, thousand ... can't remember right now). The legends say that it's because Buddha's head exploded into so many pieces from sadness once when he saw all the grief and suffering of all human beings. So I think Buddhas have emotions too. But their emotions just flow freely ... because they don't get attached ... neither to these emotions nor to the causes of these.

Good luck with your self-enquiry!!

Damian

Thanks for your thorough reply, I appreciate it.

Yes, this is what I was trying to explain. Someone not reacting emotionally to something can either be down to acceptance or as you say, shutting down emotionally.

I'm self-healing at the moment and I realise growing up I largely shut my emotions down, like many of us did on this site probably. Learnt conditioned behaviour from parents, low self worth etc - the list goes on.

I wasn't aware of it until recently, but I have been almost practicing Buddhism for quite some time, just missing the odd thing here and there which I am researching now, and I think this approach (acceptance, detachment from suffering etc) is only helping me remain monorail with everything and not reacting from mind and lashing out or crying uncontrollably.

Thank you again for your input

[OEN34]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

For myself personally I am a predominate feeler processor. When I unplugged the cork of suppressing a lot of my emotional binds in myself, overlaid with detachment or fears, I began to feel more freely and let go more naturally. I was surprised what came from me, through many streams of loss and grief, sensitivity and reactiveness. I had closed off many parts of myself and so opening up, I was able to see why I did that at a very young age. Once I cleared and found balance to manage my emotional bodies reactions to external stuff, I found that inner balance allowed me to be less involved and more seeing things as they were. My mind wasn't involved, my past and my own history of pain no longer infused in others pain and grief, however that played out. So now I could feel more openly and without attachment. I see this now in myself as clear feeling. It's not heavy, its light and easy to manage now. I flow through feeling mode fast now. So clarity can come immediately through this process.

I know at times through my own process I noticed a shelving process going on. You know when you have to get through some points of your own life with detached feeling mode. I found through my own process they came back at times to meet me. I called these times my unknown in feeling times. I would just be releasing without reason. But I am aware when clarity came through that it related to those shelved times in my life. The emotional burdens to heavy to face when in other modes of functioning.

Most often now I feel balanced emotionally, so I am neither up or down. Clear feeling means I am open to feel and just allow myself to experience a full range of emotions as my body experiences with others and life itself. I am not attached to the external reasons, and no longer attached in myself to make feeling mode more than what it is more directly to the experience as it is.

Great post and it resonates dearly with me.

I started to write a longer reply, but realised there is no need to, as everything you have said is exactly what I am thinking/feeling and what you have written is spot on.

I will refer to this post time and again, thank you

[OEN34]

Originally Posted by Seawolf

This whole modern society seems to be centered around not feeling, maybe I'm wrong, but it seems that way to me. I think that our bodies let us know if something is inside wanting to get out. We might have a gut feeling about it, we might get sick, or act out, or get depressed, anxious, etc. For me progress has been about getting in touch with deep emotions. The brain naturally tries to protect us from the painful feelings and often does a good job of keeping them buried. It's just trying to protect us. But unfortunately that can have consequences, and the brain really does want to feel and complete the emotions, but doesn't know how and needs help.

Again, I really resonate and agree with what you say.

When we feel an emotion it definitely shouldn't be ignored, IMO. So as you say, get in touch with them, literally feel them without any thought attachment to them, and it can be quite a beautiful thing.

But you're right; if I had emotions inside that needed releasing, my body would be letting me know those sensations are there. I'd be getting the knotted stomach feeling, the solar plexus shock, anger bubbling up etc, so I imagine I am in a place of acceptance.

Thanks for chipping in, I appreciate it